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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:20:16 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live! From Hephzibah, Goergia
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Phil vs. Microplay
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Beast vs. LD Williams
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Team From Down Under vs. Dr. Murder & Mikey Styner
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Canadian Dragon vs. SoulDragon
Enclosed Steel Cage Match - There Can Be No Interference[/u]
Ax-Man vs. Seraph
Stips TBA[/u]
Drink & Destroy vs. The Devil's Brigade
Firechild vs. Mr. Jealous
wCw vs. Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster
The Establishment vs. UnderDawg & Blackdragon
Chris Alt vs. Mercury
Moosehead Jack vs. Hardbody Harris
Thim Reynolds vs. Uncle Entity
Saint Chaos vs. Chris Cole
Austraroo vs. Eric O'Mac
Donovan Viper vs. Capellan
Corax vs. Mark Vander
Card subject to Zaxxon
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:36:19 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is standing outside the door to Hardbody Harris's locker room with his back to the door and his arms folded, managing to look bored and concerned at the same time. Inside, we hear something that sounds like furniture being thrown repeatedly into walls. Sexy Female Journalist 4.9.5 approaches*
CA: Can I help you?
SFJ4.9.5: Actually, I'm here to speak with the former champion Hardbody Harris regarding the stunt that Moosehead Jack pulled at Mayhem.
*CRASH*
CA: You mean the stunt where Jack mousenapped Fievel and forced Hardbody to forfeit the championship?
*CRASH*
SFJ4.9.5: Yes, that one.
CA: Ahhh... I wouldn't right now if I were you.
*CRASH*
SFJ4.9.5: I guess Hardbody is taking the situation rather hard?
CA: Pun intended?
SFJ4.9.5: No.
*CRASH*
CA: I don't know. How do you think he's taking it?
SFJ4.9.5: So I would imagine he's looking forward to getting his hands on Moosehead Jack?
*CRASH* *SMASH* *CRASH*
CA: You could say that. Look, I'm sure he'll be ready to talk later. He just hasn't gotten much sleep since the whole title fiasco, and he's rather cranky. I'm just kinda hanging out here partly as moral support for when he calms down a bit, and partly to keep unassuming sexy female journalists from walking in and getting impaled by whatever he's tossing around in there.
SFJ4.9.5: I guess I should come back by later, then. See ya, Chris.
CA: What am I over here? Chopped liver? Am I not exciting enough to talk to?
*CRASH*
SFJ4.9.5: Oh... well, uh... you beat Moose at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II, and you weren't just screwed out of the title... so you're kind of old news and rather irrelevant at the moment.
CA: Wow. Do you say that to all the guys, or are you just hitting on me?
SFJ4.9.5: That sounded bad, didn't it?
*CRASH* *BANG*
CA: No! I love being told I'm not important!
SFJ4.9.5: Chris, let's talk about YOU for a moment.
CA: Well, if you insist.
SFJ4.9.5: How is the demotion support group with Beast coming along?
*CRASH*
CA: Okay, you know what? Let's talk about something else.
SFJ4.9.5: Uh, OK... what about your upcoming match with Mercury?
CA: Who?
SFJ4.9.5: Mercury... your next opponent. The guy you have a match with at Mayhem this week...
CA: Mercury... oh... Nitro's partner? Damn, Vince is releasing EVERYBODY these days. I thought those guys had the tag titles and everything.
SFJ4.9.5: No... not JOEY Mercury. Just plain Mercury. You know... the guy that's been around here for awhile?
*CRASH* *BANG* *BOOM* *SMASH*
CA: Never heard of him.
SFJ4.9.5: Hangs out with that Evil Wizard guy?
CA: Nope.
SFJ4.9.5: OK...
CA: I like my chances, though.
*CRASH*
SFJ4.9.5: I'm sorry, is that not distracting the hell out of you?
CA: Not really.
SFJ4.9.5: I'm going to go.
CA: Mind bringing me some Taco Bell?
SFJ4.9.5: Sure. What do you want?
*CRASH*
CA: Crunch wrap supreme, soft taco, Dr. Pepper, hold the ice.
SFJ4.9.5: Bet. If you see Hardbody, tell him Sexy Female Journalist #4.9.5 was looking for him. Sexy Female Journalist #4.9.5 out!
*SFJ4.9.5 leaves the area*
CA: OK. She was odd...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:39:12 GMT -5
<Chris Alt is standing by the door waiting on his Taco Bell when Moosehead Jack walk up to him, in the background we can still hear furniture crashing and screams of anger>
CA: What the hell do you want?
MHJ: Who says I want anything?
CA: Jack no one is afraid of you, I beat you, I have moved on, your shit doesn't work on me
MHJ: Ok Chris, that's all well and good. Just remember, you beat me, now you need to go out there and beat Mercury. Be a damn shame if you started another losing streak and proved that that demotion was well deserved. Lots of people will be watching every match you are in, wondering if the investment is worth it. But hey, I am sure you will do just fine right?
CA: Jack, it's not workin' I am gonna win. <doesn't sound quite so confident> Anyway, you know I ought to just let Harris know you are out here, I am sure he would tear you in half right now
MHJ: Do it.
<Chris doesn't move, he just stares at Jack for a second>
CA: You seem awful happy fopr guy who just lost the world title tonight
MHJ: <smirking> It wasn't about me winning the title tonight, it was about Harris losing it. See, I know I can take the title when I want, unlike you, I know I can win if I really need to. but tonight was more about Harris, quite simply, he had something I didn't feel he had any right to have any longer. So I took it from him. Did you see the look on his face? He nearly cried like a little girl. Alt, your best friend walked away from the greatest prize in wrestling......for a stupid mouse.
CA: That is loyalty Jack, something you know nothing about
MHJ: <chuckling to himself again> No, Alt, that is stupidity. Think about this, in September, you had the chance to win that title. You yourself said it was your dream. You failed, and your best friend lived out YOUR dream by winning the title. Now, just six weeks later, he takes that dream and throws it away. He spit on the title, for a mouse. Now Chris, you think for a minute, your best friend Harris threw down something that you hold dear. He tossed the title that you have spent your career training, sweating, bleeding for. He threw aside the title that you gave everyting for. How's that make you feel Alt? Something you couldn't win, Harris tosses aside as if it were garbage. As if it were something he could regain anytime he wanted...........even if you were holding it. Maybe Harris is right about you, maybe he knows the truth
<stepping close to Alt>
You can't win the big one Alt. Harris would rather weep like a girl and run away than worry about you being a threat. Kinda makes you feel like a man, doesn't it? Alt, you come to me if you wanna do something about it, I saw the bloodlust in you, just like it was in Concrete. I am your only chance, I can bring you respect, something that sissy boy Harris can't. Think about it, trust me
<Jack walks away leaving Chris in deep thought>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:39:34 GMT -5
[EricOMac is walking around backstage - yes, it appears he is WALKING! He comes upon some indy guys backstage.]
Eric: OK, let me get this straight - I get screwed out of my title shot at the PPV - and then I get faced off against some rookie "Austaroo." and I beat him and beat him bad. So I beat him, I finished him, you'd think I'd get my rightful shot at a title, right?............
RIGHT?
Indy#1: Yes Eric, that sounds right.
Eric: MISTER Eric to you, punk. But nope, you're wrong - instead, I've got to face this bitch again this week at Mayhem, you want to explain any of that to me?
Indy#2: Look, Eric -
Eric: MISTER Eric!
Indy#2: All we're here to do is pretend we're comes later at this show. We don't want any trouble.
Eric: But see, that's where you're wrong! I'm getting screwed! You know, I was one of the original members of this wrestling organization - and I've yet to receive one World Title shot! And my Intercontinental Title shots, I've been screwed out of those each time as well! Don't get even get me started on my Tag Team days, what, with Carl Coolname wanting me to play Hungry Hungry Hippos instead of winning tag team gold. The fact is, everytime an opportunity arises, I'm not allowed to take advantage, and I'm screwed out of it everytime. EVERYTIME!
And you say you don't want trouble? Acting like you don't care about this - that's trouble waiting for you right there! Beacuse fact of the matter is - I deserve to be at the top. Hell, in the OOWF Rankings, I'm in the top 10! I've got one of the better records in the company, and I've always have! But week after week, instead of The Rick giving me something MEANINGFUL to do, I'm forced to go out against some undeserving BITCH and beat the snot out of him, do you think that's fair?
Indy#1: Maybe if you did something about it Eric -
Eric: For the last time MISTER Eric. If I'm going to be screwed it better be by a woman, and I will not take this stand of disrespect given to me by this company - I'm getting screwed, and no one cares? We'll see about that. At Mayhem - it'll be lights out for Austaroo, but I think I'm going to start with you two!
[Eric bitch slaps Indy#1, and while he recovers from the pain, Indy#2 rushes Eric. Eric throws his arm out in a clothesline, and knocks Indy#2 out cold. Indy #1 is up, and he is met with a big sidekick to the jaw. As the two indy workers are out cold, Eric stands over them.]
Eric: I've made you two MY bitches. I will get respect around here - and I will get my title shot! And as for you two? That was another attack from The Mac. In other words....
LIGHTS OUT BITCHES!
[Eric whips out a pair of black Oakley sunglasses, and puts them on. With a smug look on his face, Eric walks towards catering as we fade to black.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:39:55 GMT -5
**Moosehead Jack, Thim Reynolds and L.D. Williams are standing around a monitor watching Eric O’Mac’s unprovoked attack.**
LD: “I told you he had it in him.”
MHJ: “It’s about time he developed an attitude.”
TR: “The lad’s got potential…I think we can work with him. But four attitudes like ours? That kind of makes for a tenuous alliance.”
LD: “Tenuous for us…disastrous for everyone else.”
MHJ: “Doesn’t really matter if we get along, as long as we take everyone else out before we go after each other.”
LD: “Exactly.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:40:17 GMT -5
**At an Undisclosed Location, San Chaos is seen on his knees, facing away from the camera. His head seems bowed in....prayer?**
San Chaos: [in a very low voice] show me what must it take to break one piece of a three piece set........
[The camera pans left, revealing a wall where many different hardcore-style weapons are mounted - a bat, a chair, a garbage can lid, a pipe, a kendo stick, a bottle, a length of black chain, a leather strap, and a roll of tape hanging next to a plastic bag full of what looks to be broken glass]
San Chaos: there are many ways to prove yourself the bull in the china shop.
[San Chaos stands, then steps toward the wall, the camera fading to black before we see San Chaos' choice]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:40:37 GMT -5
*We see Corax standing in the back hallway muttering...*
HVICH - I'm telling you, it will work!
Corax - Ok, shut up. He's comming.
*We see the newly crowned Onslaught Champion strutting down the hallway looking as brazen and cocksure as ever*
C - Hey Dragon! Come over here.
*Dragon keeps walking*
HVICH - Do it MY way!
C - Ok, ok. (To Canadian Dragon) Hey Batman!
*Dragon stops and turns slowly*
C - Come over here for a second. I need you to settle a bet.
*Dragon walks over*
CD - A bet between who?
C - Between who... um.. Me and... um a uh.. friend.
CD - Well comeone now, out with it. What's the bet. I am a busy man you know. Evil consumes this city and I've got to go to work!
C - We were just wondering how long you are gonna be able to hang on to that belt this time. My friend says that you will last three months but I'm giving you till the next PPV.
CD - Surely you're joking. How am I possibly going to lose the Onslaught title by the next PPV?
C - I am going to take it from you.
CD - Excuse me?
C - Did I stutter?
CD - That is positively laughable my unstable avian pal. That is simply out of the question.
HVICH - Get on with it, as him the question!
C - I'm getting there!
CD - Getting where?
C - Nevermind! Hey, I have a question for you.
CD - Go ahead, sport.
C - You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
*Just as he finishes the question, and before Dragon even has a chance to let it sink in, Corax reaches behind his back, pulls out a Louisville Slugger and brains Dragon across the temple. Dragon drops like a stone and Corax proceeds to take the bat to him in possibly the most vicious display of sports entertainment violence the show has ever seen. Finally we see Corax raise Dragon to his feet and pin him against the wall, bat to the throat.*
C - I don't see you laughing now do I.
*Dragon shakes his head*
C - Looks like you just found yourself a nemesis, Bat boy.
*Corax releases Dragon, who slumps to the floor clutching his head and moaning.
We see Corax walk away with a smug grin as paramedics blow past him to help the champ*
HVICH - Well done brother, well done...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:40:58 GMT -5
3 Piece Set is in their locker room after looking at this week’s schedule.
Ax: Firechild, I will do you a favor man. I will once and for all destroy that piece of trash Seraph.
Cole: Leave some for me. I’m tired of him sticking his nose in our business.
Ax: I’m not making any promises.
Cole: Firechild, you have Mr. Jealous this week. Is he still mad about the fiasco qwe pulled a couple of weeks ago.
FC: That tool has probably forgotten about it already. He is wound so tight that something else has probably made him lose it and he forgot the entire incident. I’m not worried about him. I’ve dealt with him before. Know thy enemy.
Cole: Easy for you. Did you see who Rick is putting me in the ring with? San Chaos or Saint Chaos or whatever he calls himself.
Ax: Who the heck is that?
FC: Never heard of him.
Cole: I’m the number one contender for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title and I’m fooling around with a greenhorn. Who is booking this garbage?
Ax: Speaking of OOWF Title. Harris lost the belt to Microplay. Does this change your plans?
Cole: Not too much. I’m disappointed because I love beating Harris and I wish it was me who caused him all this pain rather the Moose but I’ve got a bone to pick with Micro anyway.
FC: You do? You’ve never really faced him have you?
Cole: Nope, but he has been asking for a beating from me for a long time. I’ll explain it real soon.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:41:55 GMT -5
<MHJ walks into the locker room where Thim, LD Williams, Endo, Morte and Eric are all waiting>
MHJ: Gentleman, I am glad all of you could make it. It seems like we have really gotten the attention of the OOWF the last few days. I think Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt might take things a bit more seriously now. Williams, you keep that death grip on the title, no one is going to beat you for that belt.
LDW: Damn right
MHJ: Endo, Morte, you guys have been here almost as long as I have, keep doing what you do best and those titles will be yours. Eric and Thim, either one of you could take that Onslaught title, Eric, keep smacking that disrespectful punk Austraroo around. Thim, you and I are gonna take care of Uncle Entity and Canadian Dragon, you were robbed.
I want to make this real clear, if people want to call us The Establishment, that is fine, if you guys want to call us The Establishment, that is fine. I am not the leader, Thim is not the leader, we are all equal. In this room are some of the toughest sons of bitches in the OOWF, if we decide to, we can take any title we want, beat the hell out of anyone we want, and do it anytime we want, who is gonna stop us?
EOM: Ain't no one gonna stop us
MHJ: Damn right. Now, let's go spread some mayhem.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:42:56 GMT -5
“Master of Puppets” begins and “The Main Event” Chris Cole makes his way to the ring. He has a great big grin on his face. He makes sure to stop and argue with a few fans before stepping into the ring. He climbs to the turnbuckle and poses while the crowd boos. Then he goes to the corner and is given a mic from the timekeeper.
Cole: I know you guys are really pissed that my Florida Gators spanked your Georgia Bulldogs but what the hell did you expect? You have lost 14 of the last 16 games. You guys are just Florida’s bitches. (severe heat from the crowd). We’ll put football aside until next year’s annual ass whupping. I want to talk about something even more near and dear to my heart. I want to talk about the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. You see I am the number one contender and since becoming the number one contender I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to really humiliate Hardbody Harris. Well Hardbody went ahead and got himself humiliated without me. But don’t worry, I have a Plan B. You see the new OOWF Champ is really the old OOWF Champ. You may have heard of him. His name is Microplay and he was the first OOWF Champion. Well first doesn’t make you the best. Back in BTW I wasn’t the first champion either. But when I got my hands on him I beat him within an inch of his good for nothing life and became the BEST Champion. Now Micro, we have never had any issues. We rarely stepped into the same ring. But there was something about you that I never liked and I couldn’t put my finger on it. You had this unlikable quality but what exactly was it? Then I found out what it was. You are spoiled. You see you showed up on day one of this company and you won the OOWF Title. You didn’t have to work your way up. You didn’t have to bleed and sacrifice like so many others. You were handed the OOWF title when you walked in the door and when you lost it you whined like a bitch. You see Microplay, I have in my possession a video interview that you did back in March that was “Off the record”. It basically shows the lack of respect for this business that you have. Roll the damn footage.
Cole: Oh well. OH WELL!!! He had the honor of holding the World Heavyweight Championship and afterwards he claims “Oh Well”? I have NEVER been given a shot at the OOWF Title. I have now EARNED my shot. Let’s see if our good friend Microplay will shove his foot any further into his mouth. Keep playing the tape.
Cole: You must have some political stroke around here because after hearing all the crap you spewed somebody still gave you countless chances to regain the title. Microplay, you spoiled bitch. If you thought the pain from losing the OOWF Title was bad the first time, just wait until I beat your ass the second and take your title this time. You see the OOWF World Heavyweight Title belongs around the waist of somebody who has lived and dies for this business since he first stepped into it. Love me or hate me, I have given everything I had each and every time I’ve come out here. Enjoy your second reign as Champion Microplay. I guarantee it will be much shorter and more bitter then your first.
**Cole drops the house mic and leaves the ring in silence. The fans are not sure what to think.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:43:17 GMT -5
JW Westgaard walks into the wCw locker room where Cap and Wilder are sharing andrenaline junkie stories carrying a box under his arm.
TW. Sup' Bro?
JWW: not much.....I was thinking we do a little something different this week before our match.
Cap: What'd you have in mind....bunjee jumping, skydiving....
JWW: um....no, here check these out
JWW throws Cap and wilder Two Atlanta Thrasher JErseys wilth "Capellan"
and "Wilder" on the back.
JWW: we're goin to a Thrashers game.
TW (looking bummed): well that's not gonna be much of a rush....
JWW: no but the three hour drive from here to Atlanta will be.
TW & Cap: ?
JWW: follow me guys....we are in georgia and....
JWW, Cap, and wilder walk into the parking Garage.
there sits 3 '68 Dodge Charger "General Lee" replicas.
JWW (with a huge grin on his face): Last one to Phillips Arena buys the first round of Red Bulls!
all three guys jump into a car and tear off out of the parking Gargare
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:43:40 GMT -5
In honor of the recent haiku fun in Parts Unknown, I shall do this entire promo in haiku form
FF Capslock is
out in the ring with a mic
He begins to speak
"The Devil's Brigade,
We've had a bunch of matches
No final winner
It must be settled
This feud has to end sometime
How will it end though?
Match stipulations
Unknown for Midweek Mayhem
I got ideas.
A match in a bar
No holds barred and no DQ
Falls count anywhere
A match in a cage
The cage will be set on fire
Escape that DB!
Last man standing match
No, that has been done to death
Last man breathing match!
Well, just a few thoughts
This haiku gimmick just sucks
Not funny. I quit."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:44:01 GMT -5
Austraroo appears by standing next to a table as he picks up the mic and speaks.
ERIC O’MAC you say you were screwed but strewth mated i mean fair dinkium you beat me once so fricken what. I will make the score 1-1 on Midweek Mayhem and then you can complain that you got your ass handed to you by the australian sensation Austraroo. The people are sick of your bitchin and i shut your mouth for them but for now i will throw a shrimp on the barbie and open a cold Pepsi and chillax till our match.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:44:22 GMT -5
**Beast is WALKING down a hallway when L.D. Williams flies out of a doorway and slams him in the head with the Intercontinental Title Belt. LD places his knee on Beast’s throat and stares him in the eyes.**
LD: “You consider yourself something of a comedian. You like the funny. I can live with that.”
**Williams pauses and looks at the belt, then back at Beast.**
LD: “You’ve got some violent tendencies. I can respect that.”
**Williams looks at the belt again, and back at Beast.**
LD: “But this therapy bullshit? Needing a support group because you were demoted to chasing the Intercontinental Title? That’s an insult to me, to this belt, and to everyone who’s bled for it. If you’ve been paying attention for the past year, you know I don’t react well to being insulted.”
**L.D. stands up, drives the belt into Beast’s face, and replaces his knee in Beast’s throat.**
LD: “This isn’t the world title. It’s not about who has the best character or the funniest story. No mice, no BFF, no comedic bullshit.”
**LD slaps Beast to focus his attention.**
LD: “This isn’t the Onslaught Title. It’s not about rules. It’s not about pure wrestling.”
**LD slaps Beast again.**
LD: “This is the Intercontinental Title. It’s about sweat, blood, and violence. He who survives wears the belt.”
**LD sits back on his haunches and looks at the belt.**
LD: “So you bring everything you have to Mayhem. Bring all this supposed anger and violence you have. Bring your brother Monster . Hell, call Niles and see if he and his lap dogs will come along for old times sake. Bring it all, you rat-faced son-of-a-bitch, and maybe, MAYBE, you might live through this.”
**Williams slams Beast in the face with the belt one last time and walks away.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:44:43 GMT -5
Viper races out into the parking lot, chain death elbow at the ready, just in time to see wCw peel out of there in their Dukes of Hazzard-styled rides.
"C'mon Donnie." Missy pouts as she unbuttons the top button of her blouse, "That kid Capellan's outta here. Let's do the same. I know this quiet hotel ..."
"Not now, Missy." Viper grits his teeth, "That punk kid stole the win off me last week, and he's going to get what's coming to him!"
Spotting a cop leaning against his patrol car, eating a donut, Viper runs over.
"Quick! We gotta get after those guys!"
"I'm on a break."
"Didn't you see the way they were speeding! Reckless endangerment! They all ought to be locked up!"
"I'm. Om. A. Break."
Donnie snarls, and turns away in disgust.
Then he whips back around. DEATH ELBOW TO JOHN Q. LAW~!
"Donnie! What are you doing!" Missy runs over, her shapely legs on great display beneath her ultratight denim short-shorts.
"Get in the car, Missy! We got us some punks to catch!" Doniee leaps into the blue & white and squeals away from the curb.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:45:18 GMT -5
<Drink & Destroy and The Devil's Brigade both stand outside GM the Rick's office looking at the lineup. For some reason they are not wailing on each other ....yet> FFC: What the hell? Rick still hasn't changed the lineup! How are we supposed to know what to beat on these two clowns with unless he tells us? TO: Ya betta worry mor 'bout ya gettn ya fekkin asses handed to ya, ten wha yer gonna do ta us. Sta: What the fuck did he say? Seriously how can you understand this mealy mouthed sumbitch? HC: Don't worry about it, he talks with his fists, you understood that wicked left that put you on your fat ass didn't you? Sta: You wanna go right now? <All four men produce weapons and are just about to throw down when GM the Rick's door opens, he walks out, calmly looks at the four of them, then takes a marker and adds the stip to the match> ****** OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live! From Hephzibah, Goergia OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Phil vs. Microplay OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Beast vs. LD Williams OOWF World Tag Team Title Match The Team From Down Under vs. Dr. Murder & Mikey Styner OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Canadian Dragon vs. SoulDragon Enclosed Steel Cage Match - There Can Be No Interference Ax-Man vs. Seraph Onslaught Rules Match Drink & Destroy vs. The Devil's Brigade Firechild vs. Mr. Jealous wCw vs. Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster The Establishment vs. UnderDawg & Blackdragon Chris Alt vs. Mercury Moosehead Jack vs. Hardbody Harris Thim Reynolds vs. Uncle Entity Saint Chaos vs. Chris Cole Austraroo vs. Eric O'Mac Donovan Viper vs. Capellan Corax vs. Mark Vander Card subject to Zaxxon ***** FFC: What. The. Fuck HC: You have GOT to be kidding me! TO: Fekkin nancy boyos Sta: I don't even know WHAT that is! GMtR: Look, our insurance company has been bitching up a storm, you know all that Carl Coolname merchandise you destroyed? Well we had to pay a premium on that stuff to Coolname. And the concession area you destroyed? Yeah, that is out of our pocket as well, and don't evne get me started on the explosion, that one is still pending. So until then, you boys better get it out of your system, cause there will not be any destruction until this matter is settled. <GM the Rick storms into his office and slams the door> TO: wanker FFC: well, shit, what now? <all four look at each other, then attack and the brawl is on!> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:56:33 GMT -5
The Devil’s Brigade is out walking the streets of Georgia.
TO: Unslot rels? Whot kend of wanka shet is Rek pulin?
HC: This works to our advantage Tommy.
TO: How do ya figya?
HC: Easy, the only weapon that you need is that left fist of yours. And nobody in this company is in as good of shape as me. The two of us will easily be able to wear down Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum and then Triple Sixes all around. Those guys can’t compete with us. We’re talking about godlike ability over here.
TO: Aye, me lef ‘ook wil do plenny o takin.
HC: Did you see those shorts Missy was wearing? Damn Viper is one lucky SOB for tagging that.
TO: Aye
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:57:13 GMT -5
(Microplay is in the backstage area as he watches Chris Cole's promo through a monitor - he then proceeds toward the ring in an importomptu segment as cameras follow. Fans have flocked the arena)
Microplay - So, guess who your new world heavyweight champion is?? That's right, your looking at HIM. Hardbody Harris, you made the biggest mistake of your career, and went to save your friend instead of the one thing that means the most in this business...and that's the OOWF world heavyweight championship. And so what does that make you?? A fool...oh yes. And as long as i'm the champion, you won't ever be near this damn title again...
(Microplay looks down at the canvas, and proceeds with his promo)
"But i came out here not to neccessarily talk about you, Hardbody, but about someone else...Someone who seems to have gotten my attention lately. No, Phil, it's not you. I'm going to take care of you at Midweek Mayhem...and that's done with. But it's you, Chris Cole...
(Micro now preceeds to turn to the cameras)
"Oh, yes...'The Main Event' Chris Cole. Is that what they call you?? That's very interesting. See the last time i checked, you were nowhere near the main event seen. See, you didn't have a world TITLE to begin with. But i suppose you think you've got 'a' shot at my title for being the #1 contender?? Think again, buddy. Oh no, you've got a wish for a beating...a major BEATING. You're not dealing with the odds here Chris, you're dealing with Microplay...YOUR world heavyweight champion. And you've got NO chance in surviving this match when you face me.
(Microplay pauses for a moment)
"Now, you want to expose me and call me a spoiled brat?? Sure, no problem...But guess what, you just dug your own grave...Bow down to your new leader, Chris, because it's going to be a long and painful ride. I don't make issues, i solve them...And you're next my list. And when you step in the ring with me, your main event days will be over...forever.
"Get ready for your final encounter Chris, because it will certainly be your LAST.
(Microplay puts down the mic. and heads out of the ring as fans let out a chorus of boos)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:57:32 GMT -5
3 Piece Set is watching Microplay's promo from their locker room.
Ax: Wasn't that asswipe listening to anything you said. Of course you know you haven't been in the title scene. You haven't been given a shot yet. You had to actually earn your shot.
FC: I think that crazed Wizard has made Micro dumber if that is even possible.
Cole: Let him talk. He won't be talking much when we're through with him. This faction has more title reigns then any other in OOWF History for a reason. We are the best this industry has to offer.
Ax: Damn straight.
Cole: This week Ax will put another nail into Serpah's coffin.
FC: I'm liking that.
Cole: And you Firechild will finally put Mr. Jealous out of his misery.
FC: Absolutely.
Cole: And this green son of a bitch Chaos will know why I am the Main Event. And then afetr all that is done, Microplay and his other Harry Potter buddies will get the ass whipping of a lifetime courtesy of the Three
Ax: Piece
FC: Set
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:57:52 GMT -5
<Jack finishes watching Microplay's promo on a monitor then turns to the camera>
How bout that Harris. The champ has held the title for two days, and already he is writing you off as a has been. You and Alt make a pretty good pair.
How does it feel Harris? How does it feel to know that you walked away from the title? How does it feel knowing that you handed over something you worked so hard for, something that you may never get a chance to hold in your arms again. How does it feel to have been played like a damn fool?
Harris you proved something to me at MidWeek Mayhem, you proved that you are easily manipulated. You did exactly what I wanted you to, you forfeited your title so you could do the noble thing <chuckles> you make me sick. Harris I lead you like a puppet, you did exactly what I thought you would do, exactly what I wanted you to, hell you even doubted I would do anything at all, but you were too much of a coward to call my bluff.
So now what? Well Harris I see this in two ways, on one hand, you can come to the ring Wednesday, bring all that anger, all that embarrasment, all that frustration and try to prove to the world that you are going to be the one to stop Moosehead Jack. But, that's not how it is going to be is it Harris? See I know you and Alt are tight, best friends forever right? And I know Alt listened to you, he couldn't out violent me, and neither can you.
So, what I expect, is a wrestling match. You are going to try to prove to the world that you are a better wrestler than I am. Hell, I will save you the time Harris, I have never claimed to be the greatest technical wrestler in the world, Alt caught me a bit off guard, and I commend his dumb ass for that, it won't happen again, so that option is out.
No Harris, you want vengeance? You want to pay me back for costing you the world title? Nah, it's not gonna be about wrestling. I want you to go back, I want you to go to that dark place you went to when Donovan Viper sent you fleeing from the OOWF like the coward you are. I want you to go and think about all the people laughing at you, all the people who are starting to believe that you are soft, just like your buddy Alt. You think about all the people pointing at you, whispering to each other "there goes the man that gave up his title for a mouse, the man who got embarrassed by Moose" you think about that, you bring that to the ring. Be a man. That way, when I beat you bloody, it will be all the more thrilling for me.
Harris, your days are numbered. It looks like fun time is over isn't it? Or, perhaps not. Keep thinking this is all a game, see what I take next. It is your move.
Trust me
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:58:12 GMT -5
(Microplay is pacing in the backstage area after watching 3 piece set on the monitor - In the meantime, Skeem Gene Okerlund catches up with the champ.)
Microplay - Ahh...3-piece set. The best the industry has to offer?? I didn't know crap was the best thing they offered. Oh and Cole, THAT dumbass. Did he listen to anything I SAID?? He has NO right to be called the 'Main Event', oh no. He's more likely to be 'The Disgrace' Chris Cole, after i'm done with him...
Skeem - Microplay, what about your match against Phil at Midweek Mayhem??
Microplay - He is nothing. Just another jobber in my way.
Skeem - He did get a victory over you not too long ago...do you remember??
Microplay - Flukes happen Gene...but that wasn't the REAL Microplay...
(Micro holds up his OOWF title belt)
"This is the real Microplay...The OOWF world heavyweight champion, and rightfully so. And as champion, i am supreme to ALL. And i guarantee that i WILL end the career of Phil, when all is said and done.
(Microplay looks into the cameras)
"To the OOWF...I'll take on ANY of you. It doesn't matter WHO you are. I don't care who it is, no one will take my title away from me this time...EVER.
(Microplay continues...)
"From now on, i will vow to end the career of anyone who stands in my way. You're lucky #1, Phil. And once you're history, it's on to you, Chris Cole. You want a title shot?? No problem. But you WON'T survive to tell about...
(Microplay looks into to the cameras heavily)
"I demand respect. And if i don't get it, then i will beat it out of anyone who stands in my way...TRUST ME.
(Microplay leaves the backstage area as Skeem Gene looks perplexed)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:58:31 GMT -5
**Underdawg is in his locker room when L.D. Williams enters**
LD: “Chill, big man – I’m not looking for a fight. Yet. I was just thinking, though, It’s really gotta suck to be you these days.”
UD: “Why’s that?”
LD: “Well, first useless and idiot turn your chain into an urn – nice recovery by the way, the new neck wear suits you. Then, you get a title shot against me, and we both know how well that turned out. Now, you have to get in the ring with the Establishment this week, so there’s another loss…”
UD: “To the silent losers? Don’t think so. Hell, I could handle the lucha freak and the pasty bastard on my own if I had to. Just because you’ve made them cannon fodder for your new little group-”
LD: “Cannon fodder? Not hardly. With the proper focus, which they now have, they’ll be the next OOWF tag team champions. Right boys?”
**Underdawg spins around to find…no one. He turns back around and glares at Williams.**
LD: “Jumpy?”
UD: “Son of a-”
LD: “Temper, temper, Doggie. Relax. I told you I wasn’t here to fight.”
UD: “Then what the Hell do you want, exactly?”
LD: “Like I said, I was just thinking it must suck to be you – especially with your partner having all those problems with baseball bats and locked boiler room doors while your standing here talking to me.”
**Underdawg storms out of the room, slamming L.D. into the wall on his way by. L.D. picks himself up off the floor and watches him go, smirking.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:58:53 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels are watching OOWF TV in their locker room.]
JA: Man, what the hell is going on? We've got heels feuding with heels, that no good bastard Moose is tormenting our hated enemy Hardbody, D&D in an Onslaught Rules match, and the booking team put the title back on Microplay. And WE won a match last week.
AA: Well, if heels are feuding with heels, does that mean someone's turning face soon?
JA: Better not be us.
AA: Yeah, Chickenshit Faces just doesn't roll off the tongue.
[Knock at the door.]
AA: Speaking of rolling off the tongue.
[Ric Flair and Ron Simmons walk in, Flair with three sandwiches and Simmons with three beers.]
RF: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
[Flair hands Johnny a sandwich and AA two sandwiches.]
JA: You saving one for later?
AA: Hell no, man. Ya see, Ric here's started a program that gives you a free sandwich for every ten you buy.
JA: Shit, we'll have free sandwiches every other day.
AA: Exactly.
[Simmons hands Johnny and AA each a beer, and keep the third for himself.]
JA: What, Ron? You're not running a similar marketing campaign?
RS: Hell no, man. And if you got a problem with it, go down to the 19th Hole and pay $4.50 for that outdated shit!
AA: Geez, Ron. Just cause your partner got the WWE Title push and the vaguely racist Republican character don't mean you gotta be all pissy to Johnny.
RS: What the hell you talkin about? FSU just lost to N.C. State, and I'm a tad pissed off!
RF: CARDIAC PACK!! WHOOOOOO!!! JIMMY VALVANO!!!! DERRICK WHITTENBURG!!! LORENZO CHARLES!!! Flair has a heart attack and passes out on the floor.]
JA: The Wolfpack beat the Noles? In Tallahassee?
AA: ...Damn!
RS: Watch yourself boy.
[fade to black]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:59:16 GMT -5
*Moosehead Jack is walking down the hallway of the arena alone. Things have shut down for the night and he's on his way out. He turns a corner and sees someone running down the hall and out the door.*
MHJ - What the hell?
*MHJ moves further to investigate when something catches his eye from the floor. He moves closer to the object and picks it up.
It's a Hurri-crete mask.
Attached to it is a note:
"I know"
MHJ starts running towards the door. When he bursts through it, he examines the scene thoroughly.*
MHJ - Who the hell is out there?
*No answer is given. MHJ looks at the mask and the note again. He sticks them in his pocket and goes back in the arena.
Watching from a distance is a shadowy figure. He starts to laugh an evil laugh. Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 18:59:40 GMT -5
<Jack is standing in the parking garage holding the mask and note in one hand, looking from the mask to where the shadowy stranger dissapeared, Jack is deep in thought and doesn't notice LD Williams come up behind him>
LDW: What is that? Crete's mask?
MHJ:.......
LDW: Jack, hello?
MHJ: Huh? Yeah, it is Crete's mask.
LDW: Well what the hell are you doing with it?
MHJ: LD someone is trying to play games. I think Mr. Anderson may be on his way back.
LDW: Oh yeah, well let's hope that pixilated sumbitch knocks the shit out of him, I have been enjoying that crazy ass jumping Johnny and AA.
MHJ: Yeah.
LDW: Don't sweat it Jack, he is going to try and play mind games with you. He got Crete suspended, it was shit and we all know it. He will get what is coming to him when he gets back. Let's go, Thim and the others are waiting
MHJ: <still staring intently> Yeah.
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