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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:00:48 GMT -5
<Moose is still seething but calms himself some>
MHJ: You have a point, that little fucker is expecting it right now.
LDW: Exactly
MHJ: Yeah ok, I can play this game. For now. This war with Rick is far more important than Alexander fucking Darling
LDW: Beside, you have Cole to worry about.
MHJ: Darling is still a dead man
LDW: In time. I know you, you will have something special for him. Right now he is expecting your worst he will be ready for it. In time, there will be a time when he drops his guard.....
MHJ: Or stands to lose something, something he cares about a lot more than his blood
<Williams shoots Moose an awkward glance but doesn't say anything>
LDW: Look, for now, lets go have a drink at the Destroyitarium, no recruiting, no bullshit, just drinking.
MHJ: I can live with that, but Darling, I swear
LDW: Yeah I know. You know, if you two weren't so much alike you would make a damn good team
MHJ: As good as KZ?
LDW: I should whip your ass just for saying that
<the two share a laugh and head to the Destroyitarium>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:01:06 GMT -5
**Bunny opens the door for a random reporter.**
Reporter: Hey, Bunny. What's up.
Bunny: Look and see.
**The reporter looks up. Bunny superkicks him in the chin and the reporter is down and out. Bunny opens the door for a second reporter.**
Reporter: Hey, Bunny. What's up?
Bunny: Look and see.
Reporter: Huh?
Bunny: You're lucky you're a moron.
Reporter: What do you mean?
Bunny: How much you get paid?
Reporter: For interviewing wrestlers or bussing tables?
Bunny: That's all I need. What do you want?
Reporter: Any words for Eric heading into your match this Wednesday?
Bunny: How many words do you want?
Reporter: I don't know. 134, 135...
Bunny: That's it? Aight, cool.
Reporter: Shoot.
Bunny: Aiyyo, Eric. Check this out. Look, look... Your style is generic. Mine's authentic-made. I roll like a renegade. You need clinic aid. My technique's bizarre and ill. I scar and kill. You were a star until I served you like a bar and grill. And I procede to cook and grill you. That's all it took to kill you. You better recognize me like I look familiar. You wanna battle? You beat around the bush like you're scared to lick pussy so you eat around the tush. I need a clown to push. Someone that I can bully. Wait a minute. I don't think you understand fully. See, me without a style's like mustard without the Heinz. I lead the new school. You're a Busta without the Rhymes. I'll crush the shit out your lines...
Reporter: Now, I'm the rashiki smokin' the lick licky! 10 freaky girls inside the Chin Tiki! Girl when you see me, you better believe me...
**Bunny superkicks this reporter, too. It does not pay to be stupid.**
Bunny: Shut it. This ain't a game...
Reporter: And pimpin' ain't easy!
**Bunny stomps on the reporter's face.**
Bunny: Christ, dude. Shut up. You'd think you would have learned the first time.
Reporter: You would think.
**Bunny pulls out an uzi and plasters the reporter's insides all over.**
Bunny: Fuck you, man. Now I have to call the cleaning lady into here.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:01:29 GMT -5
Seamus walks into “The Irish Rose” Pub and sees The Dead drinking alone at the bar
Seamus: “Mr. The Dead….what brings you to my office?”
The Dead: “I figured it wouldn’t take long before you showed up”
Seamus: ”That doesn’t answer the question.”
TD: “ Damn your testy…Just checking on ya…”
Seamus: “Ahhh shucks, you care, you really care…”
TD: “You’re a dick…in this business you watch your ass and if you see someone going off the deep end you check on them…no I don’t fucking care…but I don’t want a 2am phone call asking if I’d help in another cleanup operation…”
Seamus: “Save it, I’m clean and if I’m going off the deep end them I’m sure there are enough people out there willing to push…”
TD: “You’re not making friends”
Seamus: “Not looking for any”
TD: “Look the boys have enough going on with Moose and The Ric, they don’t need more drama…”
Seamus: “ Mr. The Dead let me but you a drink and give you a little bit of advice…”
Seamus motions the bar tender over and orders a pint for him and The Dead.
Seamus: “It’s as simple as this…everyone has their drama, Moose and The Ric, Alex, Blitz, Stank, The E, yada yada yada…you got fucking bunny acting like the love child of Eminem and the kid from Home Alone…everyone has an angle, everyone talking the talk…and you know who gets the shit….me, I’m lost in the shuffle, forgotten about and jobbing to Willy Wanker and the Waffle Boy…so I think to meself, self you can’t take this shit laying down…it’s time to take matters into your own hands and make sure people don’t forget about you…So you see Mr. The Dead…Time’s up.”
Seamus stands up, throws money on the bar and starts to walk away
Seamus: “Best off if you just stay away. It’s going to get ugly and me fathers still alive”
TD: “What?”
Seamus: “Don’t father me…he’s still alive to do his job…we’ve been straight since I got here but trust me I have no problem stepping over you or anyone else around here to get the respect I deserve…”
Seamus walks away, once again whistling in the wind
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:01:57 GMT -5
<Stank watches Davin Moreland walk out of the Destroyitarium. Outback Jack joins the World Champ at the bar.>
OBJ - I can't believe you shook his hand.
Stank - Why not? He came to me like a man and apologized.
OBJ - You just know it wasn't sincere.
Stank - If it was or if it wasn't is not for me to say. Point is, he did it and I can respect that. It takes guts to admit when you're wrong... whether he believes it or not is beside the point. I'm past all that stuff with him anyway and I believe his apology was sincere. So there's no point in me continuing to be angry.
OBJ - Does this mean we're joining Rick?
Stank - No... though, if you want to go ahead.
OBJ - ... I just want to sit here, drink my Fosters, and think about beating my next opponent.
Stank - Amen to that.
<Stank and Outback Jack clink their drinks together then take their respective swigs. The jukebox grinds to a halt. Spin Hansen pulls back his dart mid-swing, the few patrons milling about stop in their tracks. All look up from what they are doing as Moosehead Jack and LD Williams walk in through the front.>
Stank - Speaking of opponents...
Camera fades
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:02:22 GMT -5
Seamus leaving the pub sees Alexis getting out of the limo and walking toward a high priced shoe store.
Seamus: “Alexis, darling, fancy seeing you here.”
Alexis: “Great! Just what I fucking need, another fucking psycho”
Seamus: “Ahhh, Lexie you hurt me with your words…Sin after sin I have endured, but the wounds I bear are wounds of love.”
Alexis: “Look, I don’t have time for all this…”
Seamus, grabs Alexis and pushes her against the window of the store, grabbing her head and kissing her…she bites his lip and he lets go laughing
Seamus: “ Hehehe,Lexie, I’m a lover not a fighter…No worries love, tell your brother I don’t give a shit about him, Fire-bitch, Moose or anybody else but he shouldn’t come between a man and his whiskey. Also it’s best if he doesn’t get into a pissing match with me!”
Seamus spits blood from his lip
Seamus: “Tata for now”
Once again we see Seamus turn away and start whistling…
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:02:45 GMT -5
*At the the auditorium of the hotel in Mianus, a press conference has been set up. On the stage, Outback Jack is standing at a podium. Seated next to him are the other members of Drink & Destroy and Wally B. King.
The front of the room is reserved for members of the press, including some SFJ's, Scheme Gene, some local reporters, a crew from the local cable news show, some internet wrestling website reporters (because someone has to cover a story before the cut and paste sites get ahold of it), and Pedro Gomez from ESPN (beats covering Barry Bonds, I guess). The reporters are sitting on folding chairs in front of a velvet rope.
The hotel security guards and OOWF security are keeping a crowd of fans back behind the velvet rope where the press is set up.
Outback Jack, with tears in his eyes, begins to talk.*
OBJ: Seems like just yesterday we were here. Well, I think we all know why I’m here. First of all, sorry I’m late. But I am officially retiring from the OOWF and Drink & Destroy, and as much as I’ve thought about what I would say, and how ... I promised I wouldn’t get emotional ... it’s never easy ... you know, it’s funny, I’ve watched hundreds of wrestlers retire, and you wonder what that would be like ... you think you’re prepared ... but I was telling Wally on the way over here, God has blessed me with so many great things. Ability, wonderful family. And as I was flying up here today I thought about so many different things and how I wanted to say some of the things that I felt like I need to say, but he gave me an opportunity to use my abilities, and I seized that opportunity ... I thank him for that.
I’d like to thank the OOWF, for giving me the opportunity as well. I hope that every penny ... I hope that every penny that they’ve spent on me, they know was money well-spent. It was never about the money or fame or records, and I hear people talk about your accomplishments and things ... It was never my accomplishments, it was our accomplishments, the teammates that I’ve wrestled with, and I can name so many. It was never about me, it was about everybody else. But the OOWF has been, ... it’s been a great relationship, and I hope that this organization and the fans appreciate me as much as I appreciate them.
I can’t leave without saying thanks to The Rick and Mr. Bennet for giving me a chance when no one else would. I’d like to thank Gator and Wally and Stank and Spin and DH. It’s been everything I thought it would be, and then some. And it’s hard to leave. You think you’re prepared for it. I know there’s been comments and issues in the press lately about why I’m leaving, whether or not the OOWF did enough, whether or not The Rick and Mr. Bennet tried to convince me to stay. None of those things have anything to do with me retiring, and that’s from the heart.
I've given everything I possibly can give to this organization, to the game of wrestling, and I don't think I've got anything left to give, and that's it. I know I can wrestle, but I don't think I want to. And that's really what it comes down to. Fishing for different answers and what ifs and will he come back and things like that, what matters is it's been a great career for me, and it's over. As hard as that is for me to say, it's over. There's only one way for me to play the game, and that's 100 percent. Stank and I had that conversation the other night, and I will wonder if I made the wrong decision. I'm sure on Sundays and Wednesdays, I will say I could be doing that, I should be doing that. I'm not going to sit here like other wrestlers maybe have said in the past that I won't miss it, because I will. But I just don't think I can give anything else, aside from the three hours on Sundays and Wednesdays, and in wrestling you can't do that. It's a total commitment, and up to this point I have been totally committed.
As I look back on my career, no regrets. No regrets, whatsoever. Sure, I would have liked to have won more matches, would have liked to have gone to a Wrestlemania this year, would have liked to have lost fewer matches, more pinfalls and submissions, but no regrets. I played the game one way, the only way I knew how.
I can't leave without saying thank you to the fans. When I laughed, they laughed. When I cried, they cried. When I cheered, they cheered. When I belched and spoke Australian, well, you know. But it was a perfect fit for me. Little ol' Australian boy who had big dreams, no different than any other kid, to wrestle here, and there's no better place to wrestle. I had a conversation with Spin yesterday, and we had that discussion. To be thought of as one of the best wrestlers to play in this league, and to be mentioned within an organization that had wrestlers like Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt and Concrete TG and Underdawg and Beast and Phil and Hellion, Corax, Semaj. To be mentioned with those people, ... I'm honored. Really ... I am honored. I hope everyone knows how special this is and I truly appreciate the opportunity, and as they say all good things must come ... come to an end.
But I look forward to whatever the future may hold for me. I know you probably have some questions, I’ll try to answer them as best I can, but hopefully I addressed a lot of the issues and spoke from the heart.
Pedro Gomez: Wrestling in 275 straight matches and the pride you took in that, how hard was it to admit to yourself that commitment just wasn’t there anymore?
OBJ: Well, yes and no. It’s been 275 matches, at some point it’s got to end. I think there will be people, including myself, saying, ‘Hey, you can still do it.’ But I don’t want to be one of those guys that you say, ‘Well, he stuck around too long.’ Who knows when that will be? Relatively healthy for the most part. There are little things here and there that bother me. The thing that I’m most impressed about in my career is the fact that I’ve wrestled in all those matches. Whether it be consecutive or not, the fact that I wrestled in that many matches is amazing. Might as well leave when I’ve still got my health for the most part. As far as a career goes, it’s been wonderful. So it’s been everything I thought it would be and then some. None of those statistics come without playing and there’s nothing left to prove, there really isn’t. There was nothing last year to prove. I’ve known that. I have a lot of pride but it wasn’t that difficult. It’s more important for me to play the game a certain way and be (in it) completely, than it is to admit to myself that maybe I don’t have it anymore.
*Scheme Gene is about to ask a question when the Heels push their way through the crowd. The security guards are about to stop them when OBJ waves them through. The Heels "golf clap" as they walk up in front of the reporters.
AA: When we were asked to interrupt our well-earned R&R to hear "an important announcement from Outback Jack", we thought that was the ultimate example of an oxymoron.
JA: By a lucky coincidence, I was invited to a pro-am at the Mianus CC, so we got to hear about something that was long overdue.
AA: That's right, Johnny. The only wrestler who should have retired sooner than this jabroni is Flair, but hopefully the last beating we gave him will push him in the right direction.
*Pedro Gomez and Scheme Gene suddenly grab folding chairs and lay out the Heels. Pedro Gomez makes a thumb across the throat gesture, picks JA up and hits a spinebuster! Scheme Gene drops several elbows on AA, rips off his jacket, and struts! SG goes to run his hands through his hair, which doesn't work very well for a bald man. Scheme Gene and Pedro Gomez then peel masks off their heads, revealing Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. *
RF: RETIRE? YOU CAN'T RETIRE ME! I'M ALREADY FIRED! ABUSE OF POWER!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
OBJ (pulls can of beer out from behind podium, chugs it, belches): That's Australian for if Ric isn't retiring, I'm not!
*Voltage walks by carrying a sign that says "Will Job for Food"*
OBJ: Is it too late to ask for OOWF to recruit Randy Moss?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:03:08 GMT -5
[The Dead finishes his pint and heads to the gym to meet Firewoman. After a grueling workout The Dead and Firewoman finish their sparring session and head out of the gym.]
Dead: So it was Seamus that jumped you?
Fire: Yeah, figured you'd know something about it, actually.
Dead: The Dead hasn't really seen Seamus that much the last few weeks. He's been hanging with that Wrath guy and getting sloppy drunk.
Fire: Same ol' Seamus...
Dead: Huh?
Fire: Nevermind. Anyway, I should probably head back. I'm supposed to have a talk with the Darlings.
Dead: Yeah, and The Dead is supposed to talk to Davin Moreland. They can wait. Have you thought any more about The Dead's offer?
Fire: You mean Bennett? I don't know, Alex hasn't picked...
Dead: The Dead isn't asking about Darling, The Dead is asking about you.
Fire: Well, it's not an easy situation...
Dead: But it can be. You side with Bennett and life will get easier. You got screwed by MacCappington, and did Rick do anything for you?
Fire: No...
Dead: For that matter, did your DEA buddies do anything to rectify matters?
Fire: Well, no...
Dead: Exactly. On the other hand, Bennett has given The Dead two title shots in two weeks. Bennett understands talent. You are talent. Talk to Bennett.
Fire: Maybe, I need to think this over. I gotta go right now, though.
Dead: Alright, just think about it.
[The two part ways. The Dead makes his way back to the arena for his meeting with Davin. He sees Bunny shooting a random reporter and decides to ignore it. Eventually he makes his way to a door that says 'Assistant GM'.]
Davin: Come on in.
Dead: Look, let's make this quick. By the way, where are your two lackeys?
Davin: You mean Phantos and Lucios? They are not my lackeys. Actually, they're checking out some tape of the time they spent in Mexico. I guess their current obession is this guy they used to wrestle there a lot. They say he was unbelievable...
Dead: Who?
Davin: I think they said his name was 'El Muerte'...
[The Dead looks directly at the camera and winks. A small smile crosses his face.]
Davin: Anyway, let's get down to business. I know we've had our share of differences...
Dead: Ha! That's an understatement.
Davin: But right now we need to put those differences aside for the good of the company.
Dead: The good of the company? Was it good for the company when you went around attacking everyone backstage?
Davin: Well...
Dead: Or when you called the champ a whiny little bitch?
Davin: Look, I apologized for that, but that's not the point. Whatever was done in the past is irrelevant. Rick knows you're a great talent, and like I've said before, everyone on our side will earn what they are due.
Dead: Well, Bennett has given The Dead two title shots in two weeks, so it seems there is nothing you or Rick can offer The Dead.
Davin: Look, if you work hard, you get title shots. We're not handing out favors left and right.
Dead: Spare me Davin. So far, The Dead is getting what he wants. There is nothing you can offer The Dead that he is not already getting. But remember, when the time comes, we have unfinished business.
Davin: I haven't forgotten.
Dead: Good.
[The Dead stands up and opens the door.]
Dead: Oh, and Davin?
Davin: What?
Dead: You do make a good foot-soldier.
[The Dead closes the door before Davin can respond. He turns the corner and sees a bloodied Moosehead Jack in a rage.]
Dead: Woah, what the hell has happend to you?!?
Moose: That sonofabitch Darling!
Dead: Oh, that incestuous little fuck?
Moose: The very same.
Dead: Look, The Dead may know of a way to get him back, but now is not the time. You come to The Dead's locker room after you've cooled off a little. There is something we need to discuss.
[The Dead heads off to his locker room.]
Dead: What a crazy night...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:03:30 GMT -5
Seamus sitting in hotel room talking on the phone, Damon comes in…
Seamus (on phone) : “ Yes that’s right three dozen long stem roses…all of them red but one…that one white, yes deliver them to the Stanton House Inn on Wednesday night, to Alexia’s room…on the card I want it to say “Can’t stop thinking of you and our first kiss….Ok thanks”
Damon: “What are you up to?”
Seamus: “Nothing…Don’t worry about it.”
Damon: “I talked to Paul and he said Steph and him should be home Wednesday if you wanted to go to the Route 22 for dinner after the show.”
Seamus: “Really I thought they were in Chicago on Tuesday?”
Damon: “Yeah, but they are coming home until Friday morning than flying out to Texas for the weekend.”
Seamus: “Did he say he would have tickets to Orlando?”
Damon: “Yeah no problem…you know that.”
Seamus: “Did you ask if Rabbxt could join the BunnyMania match?”
Damon: “Hehehe…No I forgot…..you still on the rampage?”
Seamus: “Dude I’m just getting started, beer me.”
Damon throws Seamus a Smithwicks and jumps on the second double bed and hits the TV remote…
Damon: “Well it least your having fun, again.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:04:32 GMT -5
**Bunny is sitting on the couch in his locker room, watching his 32" TV.**
Bunny: Why would Damon ask? I'm tight as shit with WWE management. I get whatever I want. I'm also good friends with several wrestlers there. But I ain't saying no names. I don't want anyone hurting close friends in an attempt to fix past wrongs. But the chicks love me, man. And I was scheduled to make an appearance in the BunnyMania match, but I'm booked elsewhere that night, so I had to turn it down. It would have been a great experience to go out there in front of the live WrestleMania crowd, but they'll just have to try to cope without seeing me that night.
**Bunny back flips over the back of the couch and walks over to his refrigerator. He grabs two cans of Mountain Dew and opens them both.**
Bunny: Oh, and Eric. Mayhem, it's gonna be fun.
**Eric O'Mac walks behind Bunny in the background. He passes F. Fonzworth MacCappington III.**
Eric: *clink*
FFMIII: *clink*
Bunny: What the hell!?
**Bunny twirls around and sees both men clinking belts.**
Bunny: Dudes, really? In my locker room? Just get out.
**Eric and F. Fonzworth MacCappington III leave Bunny's locker room. Eric gets one last thing in before leaving.**
Eric: You can't beat the clock, and you can't beat me.
**Eric leaves Bunny alone to drink his two cans of Mountain Dew.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:04:50 GMT -5
IHOP is relaxing in their dressing room... Skurge is polishing off another case of Labatts, while SYB is relaxing in his own way... at the computer. Skurge: Now that's what I'm talking aboot! SYB: I know, eh? I love the smell of victory in the morning. It smells like... victory. Skurge: What? SYB: Eh? Skurge: Bee? SYB: See? Skurge: Please stop. You're killing my buzz. (looks around) Where's The Lovely Dorothy Mantooth? SYB: I'm not sure but I can't think aboot her right now. I'm doing some very important research online. I figured oot a surefire way to win the rest of our matches. Bring your lazy hoser ass over here so you don't have to lay there while I do all the work. Skurge: (gets up and heads over) That's what she said. SYB: OK... check it oot... The camera zooms in on apps.facebook.com/wrestle/index.jspSkurge: (waits a beat) THIS is your strategy? Wrestling on facebook? SYB: Hell yes. This way we can guess before the move is applied. Skurge: Corkscrew 630° senton? Shooting star press? Are you serious? SYB: No kidding... although you should forget aboot the DDT. I can never land that one. Skurge: These moves don't exactly mirror your own moveset in the ring. I mean you can't even get your feet off the ground for a dropkick. SYB: Hey I have some moves oot there, eh-hole! Skurge: Right. You can footstomp Seamus into submission. SYB: I'm gonna footstomp your... Out steps The Lovely Dorothy Mantooth wearing nothing but a towel. DM: Hello boys. Congrats on your win. Skurge: Well hello there, my dear. I like your towel. DM: Yeah well, I didn't want my hair to get wet. SYB: CHICKENWING ARM LOCK~! DM: Yeah. Has my masseuse arrived yet? I have a little knot in my back and the acupuncture I tried earlier didn't work. Must be the Asian part of my heritage. SYB: Oh you have some Asian in you? Would you like a little Jew in you? DM: What did I tell you, Snausages? It's so not happening so don't waste your breath, little man. (to Skurge) Be a doll and let me know when he gets here. Thanks sugarplum. She blows a kiss to Skurge, then heads back into the bathroom, still drying her hair. Skurge: Dude, that's so not cool. SYB: Yup... she wants me. Don't be jealous, Splooge. Skurge: It's Skurge, fucko... and she wants no part of your gay weakling Jew ass. SYB: Gay? Know how I know you're gay? Skurge: We're not doing that yet... maybe later. *FADE OUT*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:05:10 GMT -5
Walks in after all the chaos of Seamus kicking ass and taking names.......
Helps up Dwayne Johnson up. Hands him a beer
DJ: Damon what the hell is up with Seamus.
DW: No I idea.( he thinks a second and then raises his eye brow at the rock and says) I know what it is Rock
DJ Wha
DW Cuts him off and says KNOW UR ROLE you candy ass.
Twists the RockS arm and hits Lights out>
Hogan; Ur just a crazy as Seamus.....look on his face of anger.........
Wrath throws Hogan on his shoulders as if he’s a light weight.
The time for the Bad Ass Drinkers (BAD)is now. Your going to feel our pain now.....finds a keg and f5's Hogan on the keg.....
then Flair comes over and chops Wrath on the chest ........Wrath looks like hes in a rage and locks on the Wathface till a snap is heard.......Retire old man or the BAD will kill you....
(sprays a beer Tripple H sprays water on all 3)
No more jobbing to these pussies. You run into us be prepaired to leave in a body bag
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:05:36 GMT -5
Firewoman is DOING YOGA~! in the DEA Suites. Alexis and Alexander walk in. Eric is also attempting to do yoga, but it's apparently to everyone except Firewoman that he is just playing along so she won't kick him out, so he can watch.
Alexis: Is that a new yoga DVD?
FW: Piss off, Alexis. First of all, no, it isn't. Secondly, they cost, what... $20 max? So don't get your panties in a bunch. [Firewoman (and Eric) gets done with the DVD and looks more closely at Alexis's face] What the heck? Why is your lipstick smeared?
Alexis: You know, you'd think you'd be at least a little grateful, after I saved your ass Wednesday night.
FW: Oh yeah...well, about that. Uh...Thanks.
Alexis: Wow, you are knocking me over with your gratitude.
FW: No, I mean it. It almost makes up for the stupid ring entrance, which I don't care what these guys say, had to be your idea.
Alexis: It wasn't, actually, but it definitely made for an unforgettable Mayhem moment.
FW: No, an unforgettable Mayhem moment would have been for me to beat Fonzie. Damn Cheater.
Alex: Would you two give it a rest, already? Damn!
FW: Sorry Alex.
Alexis: [Smugly satisfied that Alex told Firewoman to shut up] Sorry brother. Eric, can you come with me to review some of these papers?... Eric....?
E: What? Huh? Oh, sure....
Alex and Eric head off elsewhere
Alex: Since when does he do yoga?
FW: Since today, I guess.
Alex: And since when do you work out with the enemy?
FW: The Dead? Oh, I dunno...he asked.
Alex: And do you always just wander off with whomever just happens to ask
FW: Geez, dude, relax. Weren't you supposed to be off getting all zen? Did the airlines lose the luggage you stored your inner peace in?
Alex: No. I just need to know that everyone on my side is still on my side. Last I heard, The Dead was on Moose's side. I don't need you fraternizing with the enemy.
FW: Well, last I heard we hadn't chosen a side yet. And also, last I heard, no one tells me who I can and can't "fraternize" with.
Alex: No? [Alex smiles a bit like a Cheshire cat Well, we'll see about that.
FW: No, "we" will not see about that. I work out with and hang out with who I want.
Alex: [smiling more broadly, as if there's something he knows that Firewoman doesn't.] Oh no, you're absolutely right, Fire. Sorry. Didn't mean to get your Irish up.
A lull in the conversation, as Alex loses his smile (ha!) and Firewoman wonders what the heck is so funny.
Alex: So, uh. Got Davin this week, eh?
FW: Yeah. Thinking of bringing a coffee mug down to the ring with me.
Alex: He'd appreciate that.
FW: I think so. Third time's a charm, although he doesn't have the belt now. That's too bad. I think that belt would look mighty find around my waist.
Alex: Well, Eric's got it.
FW: For now....
Alex: Just keep your sights on Wednesday's match, don't worry about Eric. Bad enough that you go working out with the enemy...
FW: Unless we side with Bennett, in which case not...
Alex:...I don't need you starting more stuff within the DEA.
FW: He's safe. I only beat up pop tarlets...
Alex: Like Davin.
FW: Exactly.
Alex: [pauses] So that's not a new Yoga DVD?
FW: Nope. It is a new DVD player though. Bunny took the old one.
Alex: Why didn't you say so?
FW: She didn't ask about the player.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:05:56 GMT -5
*Wally and OBJ are sitting in the Destroyitarium*
WBK: Shouldn't you at least try to work on some basics with him? I mean, he does have some talent, and tag team experience.
OBJ: I suppose so. Maybe after another round or two. *Glances over to a corner where Voltage appears to be distracted by a bright shiny object.*
WBK: Besides, I've got to make a few calls. Business stuff.
OBJ: Alright, I'll have a go at it. *Grabs his beer and heads over to Voltage.*
*WBK pulls out his cell phone and dials*
WBK: Hey, Governor, it's Wally! About that special request of yours...Bad time?...oh, I see... Well, never mind then.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:06:17 GMT -5
[The Nerve Agent is in his locker room training; switching between the punching bag and the trampoline.
After a few minutes, he flips off of the trampoline and walks to the fridge. He grabs a Rockstar, goes to his couch and sits down.
He watches what's been going on the past few days and turns off the T.V.]
TNA: What the hell is everyone's problem in this federation? Everyone just goes on rampages. That new guy, Alexander did it when he came here, that Nasty guy is doing his thing. What the hell? Is that how they think they are going to make it in this federation? Ah well, I have my own shit to worry about.
[He walks to the door, but before he can open it a reported just walks in.]
Reporter: I'd like to...
TNA: 'the Fuck dude? This is my locker room. Take two steps back, close the door, then knock, then come in.
[The reporter does as he's instructed but doesn't wait for an answer after he knocks.]
Reporter: Now if I...
TNA: Dude, what the fuck?
Reporter: Sorry...
[Finally the reporter leaves, knocks, waits for an answer, then comes in.]
Reporter: Now can I have a few words?
TNA: Sure. Here they are.
[And with that The Nerve Agent grabs the reporter by the hair and tosses him at the camera man. They both fall to the floor in the middle of the hallway.
The Nerve Agent closes his door, turns around and walks away.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:06:37 GMT -5
<Donovan Viper is walking down the hall mindlessly wrapping his chain around his fist, clearly deeply lost in thought when he hears a voice behind him.>
V: Donnie! Hey Viper
<Viper is clearly a bit annoyed at being disturbed, he turns ready to pound someone when he sees Moosehead Jack>
DV: Moose?
MHJ: Viper, you got a minute?
DV: For what?
MHJ: I need to talk to you
DV: Look Jack I have already told everyone who will listen that whatever MacCappington decides I am cool with, my focus is on the world title, and ONLY on the world title
MHJ: No, none of that recruiting bullshit, something else. It will only take a minute
DV: Yeah sure what the hell
<Viper and Jack walk into one of the locker rooms and slam the door before the Invisible Ninja Cameramen can follow>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:07:00 GMT -5
minutes later, Viper leaves the room, chain wrapped around his forearm, and smiles at the camera...
DV: Alexander Darling... you're a dead man.
Viper leaves. Moosehead Jack comes out of the room, looks at the camera...
MHJ: What he said.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:07:42 GMT -5
Seamus sitting at Denny's eating pancakes and writing notes on his blackberry...Camera fades in to look at screen
1) Stop by and talk to Moose 2) Order spell check for Damon 3) Return tickets to Van Halen concert 4) Order Dewers for Outback Jack 5) Return copy of "Strange Kentucky People" to Chris 6) Order bottle of wine for Alexia 7) Return advance copy of CD back to Rob and KK
Phone rings and Seamus answers it...
Seamus: "Really...huh..where's that...oh really I'll be right there."
Camera cuts to scene right out side of The Lions Den Adult Superstore we see SYB laid out bloody and bruised across the hood of his car with a paperbag laying on the hood beside him with Boys will be Girls Volume 4 half out of the bag...just off camera you hear whistling fade as if someone just walked away...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:08:07 GMT -5
Female Journalist number 456 walks up to Seamus as he is entering the gym
FJ: "Seamus, Syb was just brutally attacked and given your recent rampage all eyes are looking at you..."
Seamus: "I have no idea what your talking about...I was having breakfast."
FJ: " Oh come on, with your attacks on Blitz, Firewoman, Bunny, Hogan, Rocky, Flair..."
Seamus: " Really I'm not that bad, I just need better PR"
FJ: " What has happened to you?"
Seamus: " What happened?...I followed the piper's sweet whistling I was guided down the path by the wrong hand I closed my eyes for the chance of a better view I plugged my ears so I couldn't hear you
And I know you are the one And you know I am the one Your bitter taste of hell..."
FJ: " What does that mean?"
Seamus: "Times up"
With that Seamus hits journalist with a short armed clothesline that turns her upside down and crumpled on the floor...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:08:26 GMT -5
Capellan, a worried look on his face, leaves a voice mail for Davin Moreland.
"Hey DM. Cap here. Look, uh, you're the Assistant GM so I figure you should know the answer ... did that weirdo in the bunnysuit actually murder someone? Because, y'know, that seems a little crazy, even for here. Or was it just the fevered imaginings of a diseased mind?"
Cap hangs up. Then slaps himself on the forehead and dials again.
"DM. Cap again ... this whole deal with the war against Moose. How is it going to work, exactly? I mean, we all wrestle here already, so if we start having matches then it'll just be ... well, what we were doing anyway. I'm having some trouble understanding all this, and I think I need to know what I am getting into before I can sign up for anything. Thanks."
Capellan turns, steps gingerly over the bloody corpse of a reports, and heads out of shot.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:08:47 GMT -5
(CTG is sitting backstage at Raw, carefully flipping through an issue of Starlog when his cellphone rings. Curiously, the ringtone is a few bars of "Train of Angels"
CTG: (checks around for a WWE non-invisible camerman before answering) This is Gryfon....
Automated Voice: Sprint PCS is bringing you this phone call! Please wait while your call is connected.
CTG: ?
(a few tones play, then a male voice is heard over the line)
Phantos: Concrete? I hope you can hear me......
CTG: this is one of the guys from Team Aquafina, isn't it? I'm surprised you're not calling Triple H, he's a customer...
Phantos: Hey, how did you know it was me?
CTG: Product placement.
Phantos: (turns away from the phone) he guessed, you owe me some dunkin donuts coffee
Lucios: (heard in the background) dammit!
Phantos: Anyway, Crete, the reason I'm calling you on my Sprint PCS Phone -
CTG: You don't even realize you're doing it anymore, do you?
Phantos: what?
CTG: the constant plugging.
Phantos: it's like a banner ad. We get paid every time we mention something. Anyway, I'm calling because we really, REALLY need you back here.
CTG: I'm glad someone misses me there, but I made my point. Can't any of you handle Moosehead JAck without my assistance?
Phantos: It's more than that. GM The Rick is not only fighting Moosehead Jack, but he's fighting LJ Bennett, the owner.
CTG: I'm not one to fight City Hall.
Phantos: Even if it means the end of OOWF as we know it?
CTG: .... you must be serious, you stopped the product placement.
Phantos: We need all the help we can get here. We can get you an endorsement deal, too. Mountain Dew? Red Bull? Kronik (available only at Flying J Truck stops?
CTG: .... You've been talking to Rabbxt, too?
Phantos: well, no... but we know you're also part of the caffination.
CTG: I'd love to help, but there should be enough guys to rebel against Bennett. Enough of you push back, he has to relent. If I could, you know I would be there. Good luck.
Phantos: but-
(CTG reluctantly closes the phone)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:09:25 GMT -5
**Bunny is watching his 32" TV and sees Concrete TG's promo.**
Bunny: Who's this Rabbxt guy?
**thinks**
Bunny: Nope. Never heard of him.
**fade**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:09:49 GMT -5
[Moosehead Jack finally decides it is time to have his meeting with The Dead. He approaches The Dead's door and knocks. A moment later, The Dead answers.]
Dead: Moose, come on in, we have some things to discuss. In private.
Moose: But what about the ninja...
Dead: Already taken care of.
[In the background, multiple stretchers are being wheeled away. Laying in each one is someone dressed completely in black.]
Moose: Nice work. Now, what's this all about?
Dead: Come on in.
[Moosehead Jack enters The Dead's locker room and The Dead closes the door behind him. Several minutes pass before the door opens again.]
Moose: Interesting, you sure it'll work?
Dead: Of course, just give it some time.
Moose: Ok, but in the meantime I'm going to...
Dead: The Dead knows. Have fun.
[Both Moosehead Jack and The Dead have sick smiles on their faces as Jack walks away.]
Dead: Let the games begin.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:10:08 GMT -5
*FADE IN*
The invisible ninja cameraman is following Skurge and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth as they frantically run down the halls of Mianus Hospital. They hear a nasally, high-pitched wail in the next room and peek inside. SYB is strapped to a bed with IVs coming out of both arms. His face is heavily bandaged. Skurge and DM rush to his bedside.
Skurge: SYB! Are you ok? SYB: Where am I? Skurge: The hospital SYB: The hospital? What is it? Skurge: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. SYB: No...WHERE am I? DM: Mianus sweetie. SYB: Well well well, I knew that cookie would crumble someday, m'lady. Skurge: No you jackass, don't you remember, we're in Mianus, Connecticut, to take on Seamus and Damon Wrath A-GAIN. SYB's bruised left hand asesses the damage to his face. SYB: My nose...what happened? DM: I talked to the nurse in the ER...they had to fly in the most world-renowned surgeons to reset the massive bone in your nose. It made the news all around the world. It's being called a medical miracle. Skurge: Nice gown, pretty boy. Where are your clothes? SYB: They had to burn them... something aboot a code brown. All my things are on that chair next to you. Seamus...he did this...to me....he must pay...with interest. Skurge: What are you talking aboot? SYB: I was going to rent a movie, and he approached me outside, saying something about if I get some movies for him, he'll go easy on us during the match. He gave me that note… (he points a feeble trembling finger toward a crumbled up piece of paper on top of his wallet and keys) Skurge picks up the piece of paper, his eyes darting back and forth: Oh my god. DM: Read it aloud Skurge: Okay, I need one each of the following: "Whispers in the Wind," "To Each His Own," "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong," "My Pipes Need Cleaning," "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8," "I Need Your Cock," "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers," "My Cunt Needs Shafts," "Cum Clean," "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts," "Cum Buns III," "Cumming in Socks," "Cum On Eileen," "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum," "Girls Who Crave Cock," "Girls Who Crave Cunt," "Men Alone II: the KY Connection," "Pink Pussy Lips," "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock," and "Boys will be Girls Volume 4" SYB: The store only had "Boys Will Be Girls," so I got that and left the store. Then everything went blank. Skurge: Do you think you're gonna be OK to fight tomorrow night? SYB: I dunno - the doc says it's a good thing I came here when I did; apparently I'm nursing a bad back. DM: A bad back? SYB: From carrying this team. (He yawns and immediately falls asleep) DM: See, he's almost back to his normal self. Skurge: That's what I'm afraid of. Let's go, he needs to rest up. I don't want to have to take on two guys at once. DM: It's not that hard when you get the hang of it. Skurge shakes his head and heads out the door.
*FADE OUT*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:10:31 GMT -5
Davin called Capellan back and explained to him everything he was asking...by showing him the promo from last week which answered all his questions.
Lucios punked Davin cause he thought he was big timing him; they got mad and stared down - potentially setting up a future match, Phantos got in between.
Randy Moss is now working the Dunkin Donuts tent. He put over Schilling, punked Welker and said "Straight Cash, Homey"
Davin put Firewoman over.
end.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:10:52 GMT -5
<Moreland hangs up his phone and turns and almost walks into Moosehead Jack>
MHJ: Not as easy as it looks is it
DM: What the fuck are you talking about?
MHJ: Keeping people on the same page
DM:.......no I guess maybe its not. But we are still more united than your boys are.
MHJ: really?
DM: <smirks> Yeah, hows the chest
MHJ: <smirking himself> The chest is just fine. And I will deal with Darling when the time is right. Last I checked, he hadn't committed to either side anyway
DM: well there is no chance he will side with Rick
MHJ: You saying you WON'T work with him?
DM: Would you?
<the two look at each other in silence for a moment>
MHJ: Look Moreland, this is nothing personal between you and I. My problem is with Rick. Now since you took his side, our paths will eventually cross. But I believe there is also some room to work toward a mutual interest of our own
<Davin thinks for a minute>
DM: Like everyone else, I am not committing to anything right now, and I imagine you are doing the same. There is history between us Moose, you really think I can trust you?
MHJ: Nope. But at some point trust doesn't matter when you want to achieve something bad enough. Ask Stank.
<With that Moose walks away leaving Davin to his thoughts>
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