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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:49:35 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Mianus, Connecticut
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Stank vs. LD Williams
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] F. Fonzworth MacCappington III vs. The Dead
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. The Midnight Sons
OOWF Onslaught Championship Beat the Clock Match[/u] Eric O'Mac vs. Bunny
Steel Cage Death Match[/u] Ryan Hardcore vs. Firechild
Steel Cage Match[/u] The Nerve Agent vs. Blitz
Chris Cole vs. Moosehead Jack Davin Moreland vs. Firewoman Capellan vs. Ecosystem Donovan Viper vs. Alexander Darling The Heels vs. Outback Jack & Voltage Seamus McNasty & Damon Wrath vs. IHOP
card subject to the whims of the plague
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:50:06 GMT -5
Damon: " You ok"
Seamus: " NO"
Damon: " Where have you been?"
Seamus: "What? That was me out there getting screwed again...that was you out there too...right?"
Damon: " Fuck you...I mean the last week or so..."
Seamus: " Busy"
Damon: " Well we need to re-group and take it to IHOP next week"
Seamus: "Fuck IHOP, fuck OOWF and fuck you..."
Damon: " Wooo there little tropper...back up a little...it's me, Damon...."
Seamus: Yeah and it's me Al fucking Snow...president of the job squad..."
Damon: "Look it didn't go our way tonight...we fight fire with fire, next week..."
Seamus: "Yeah...lets gather round, man up, get our groove on and cut some really clever promo...let's puff our chest out and talk about what we are going to do..."
Damon: "Dude -your losing it..."
Seamus: Nope -lost it...past tense"
Damon: "Let's go get a pint and blow this off"
Seamus: "No - I'm not in the mood...I'm not running for office, I'm not gonna give speeches of change...I'm not going to wax on about my experience...I'm not soft shoe dancing on the steps of the white house...I'm not drinking and forgetting about it...in the rocky soil of my heart there grows a flower and it is breaking thru the soil with the coming of spring and it is bursting forth and blooming...and that flower is hate...pure unadulterating, black as a new moon night in January .....HATE!"
Damon: "Ahhh ok"
Seamus: " OOWF - times up...nomore jobbing...let me catch anyone in the hall, backstage...I will inflect damage...Hate springs eternal..."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:50:32 GMT -5
Seamus sees Bunny walking backstage
Seamus: "Hey bunny"
Bunny turns to see who yelled at him...Seamus hits him with a killer clothsline, grabs Bunny and picks him up and nails him with DDT...pulls ears off bunny costume and shoves them in Bunny's mouth
Seamus: "Stupid fucking gimick"
Seamus continues to walk down hallway, turns corner Firewoman walking into her locker room
Seamus: "Hey Baby"
Firewoman turns to glare Seamus kicks her in the gut and pops off a Stunner
Seamus: "Call me sometime"
Seamus continues to walk and see Blitz. Blitz runs into locker room and locks door
Seamus: "Blitz, let me in little buddy"
Blitz: "Go away"
Seamus: "Candy-Gram"
Blitz: "Nerves not here"
Seamus: "Pizza"
Blitz: "no thanks"
Seamus: "Land Shark"
Blitz" What?"
Blitz opens door to find out what a land shark is...and bam Seamus spears him back into the lockerroom...Seamus comes out of locker room...whistling...why it's "whistle while you work"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:50:51 GMT -5
[The Dead is walking down the hall when he sees Firewoman trying to get up. The Dead extends a hand to her.]
Fire: Hey, back off, I'm....oh, it's you.
Dead: What the hell happened to you?
[Firewoman takes The Dead's hand and gets to her feet.]
Fire: Nothing, don't worry about it.
Dead: Fair enough, but there is something The Dead wants to talk to you about.
Fire: What's that?
Dead: Your match with MacCappington.
[Anger fills Firewoman's eyes.]
Fire: That cheating bastard. I had him!
Dead: The Dead knows all about that.
Fire: Huh? Oh...the match with Eric...
Dead: Exactly. Anyway, The Dead has an idea he wants to run by you.
Fire: What idea?
Dead: Well, you see, The Dead has a title match with MacCappington coming up...
Fire: And you want me to give you pointers?
Dead: Something like that. The way The Dead figures, you should have beat MacCappington and it should be The Dead vs. Firewoman for the Intercontinental Title. Everyone knows that would have been a hell of a match.
Fire: Absolutely.
Dead: But since you got cheated, The Dead will have to go into that ring and finish the job. Now, seeing as you have a match against Davin Moreland, who The Dead beat, The Dead figures we should help each other out.
Fire: You know, that's not such a bad idea. I can't do it right this second because I have a meeting with DEA, but how about sometime later tonight?
Dead: Perfect. Oh, and if you're gonna be seeing Alex, you might want to check on his neck. The Dead kicked him pretty damn hard.
Fire: I'll do that. See you later Dead.
Dead: Later.
[The two go their separate ways.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:51:14 GMT -5
In the Fortress Of Snobbery
FFM- Donnie, we have to talk.
DV- Yeah, what's up.
FFM- As you know, I was this close to losing my Intercontinental Title to Darling's lackey last week. This would have been a huge embarrassment to us.
DV- Losing to a woman, you mean?
FFM- Not just that, losing to a member of the DEA. I have a vested interest in Darling and his group and I also have a vested interest on not losing to any of them. Which brings us to this week. You have Darling. We need to let them know who the premier faction in the OOWF is. And it damn sure ain't them. You understand what I'm saying?
DV- So, you want a message sent.
FFM- Exactly. You haven't found a way to take down Stank, but you have been so close. You should, for all intents and purposes be the World Champion. And World Champions don't lose to arrogant newcomers.
DV- Word.
FFM- We'll have no problems then?
DV- Fonzie. I got this. Don't worry.
FFM- Ryan....Ryan? Ryan, will you knock that off!?
Ryan Hardcore stops eating the banana that is half inserted into Lauren Phoenix's asshole.
RH- I need my protein to stay in fighting physical condition.
FFM- I have no problem with the banana, nor how you're eating it, in fact I was going to enjoy one later myself, but I'd appreciate if you did that in your goddamned room or at least wait until I'm done talking to you.
RH- Word.
FFM- Firechild continues to be beaten by you but not destroyed. End him in the cage. I want his career over. Take...him...out!
RH- Not a problem, I'll take care of it.
FFM- Eco, you were close to being in the World Title match this week as well. But instead you have Capellan and he needs a message sent to him as well. Take...him...out!
Eco- Word.
FFM- And the other thing we need to figure out. The battle lines are being drawn and we're being shopped by both Rick and Bennett. All I want you guys to know is that we stick together no matter what we do. The four of us will choose a side and we'll go there together. Got it?
DV, RH & Eco- Word.
FFM- Alright. And maybe we'll work on the word 'word.' A little professionalism here, please, fellas.
DV- Check.
RH- Copy.
Eco- Holla.
FFM- Thank you.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:51:36 GMT -5
Viper pulls McCappington aside.
DV: So this whole Bennett/TheRick thing...
FFM: I thought you told SFJ#1 you didn't care.
DV: I didn't care because it didn't affect my career. At least, not at that point, but last night, it affected my career greatly.
FFM: That it did.
DV: Because of LJ Bennett, LD Williams came in and prevented me from becoming World Champion last night. I had my gameplan going, the match was going my way, but then he had to come in and make the match a no contest. And he did that at the behest of LJ Bennett.
FFM: So what are you saying?
DV: Well, I'm thinking now... LJ was obviously able to pull some strings to get LD the title shot this week, despite him having done nothing in the last few weeks to earn it. He gets a title match simply by disrupting the title match I was already in? That ain't right.
FFM: So you're thinking of siding with TheRick because Bennett wronged you?
DV: Well that's the thing. If LJ has that kind of power, and I go against him, that may keep me from the world title scene.
FFM: I hear ya.
DV: So what about you? You've obviously thought about it. Which side are you leaning towards?
FFM: Jeeves! Which side am I leaning towards?
Lance: Neither, sir.
FFM: There you go. Anyways, go beat Darling this week. Show that money man what money can truly buy.
DV: Don't worry. As far as Darling's concerned, he might as well be Stank.
FFM: No, no, no. Not Stank.
DV: Why?
FFM: You haven't beaten Stank yet. Pick someone who you can beat.
DV: Did you just say I can't beat Stank?
FFM: No. no, I meant have. Pick someone who you HAVE beat.
DV: Fine. Alexander Darling might as well be LD Williams.
FFM: Word.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:51:57 GMT -5
Phantos & Lucios are WALKING backstage, when they bump into Spin Hansen.
Spin (Squares off for a fight): The hell you two doing here.
Phantos: (puts his hands out): Nothing at all Hansen. We're looking for Davin
Spin: Stay the HELL out of my way.
Lucios: We aren't looking for a confrontation, remember, we don't work that way. We want you and DH in the ring for Mayhem.
Spin: And bring those belts boys, we're walking out with them.
Lucios: Remember why this match is taking place. You and DH EARNED this match, and Rick made it happen. No special rules for Bennett's favorites.
Spin: ENOUGH WITH THE RECRUITING SPEECHES ALREADY!
Lucios: No speeches, just facts. Remember that. You and DH are #1 contenders. Noone else should be getting title shots until this is settled.
(Spin gets angry and marches off. Just then, a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist approaches the Tag Team Champions.)
RNSFJ: I'm here with the OOWF Tag Team Champions, Team Aquafina. Guys, you begged for The Heels re-instatement, and then you work to get them OUT of the title picture. What gives?
Lucios: We have ONE issue with Capps and Adrenaline. We challenged them months ago to a 2 out of 3 Falls Match. That's the only match we want Alan and Johnny in. They aren't Championship contenders, no matter what retro-straps they carry around.
Phantos: We live in the here and now. Right now, We are the Double O Double U F World Tag Team Champions. We are the Measuring Stick. No one else measures up. The Heels haven't proven to us they are worthy of a title shot. We want them in that one match. After that, they can go away again forever as far as we are concerned.
(fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:52:31 GMT -5
(GM The Rick has been so busy with his paperwork only now is he getting to Raw)
GNtR: (grumbling as he switches on his DVR) dunno why I'm even bothering.....
(pre-show opens wtih the three participants to the Triple-Threat at WM24 in Regal's office)
Regal: Now gentlemen, I've brought you into my office this evening because I've decided that these last weeks up to Wrestlemania there won't be much else for me to do. You see, most of Raw's contributions to Wrestlemania are set, and so I had a smashing idea to have each of you run the show one week as we lead up to wrestlemania. For this week, we'll start with.... (camera pans between them as Regal makes up his mind) you, Mr. Gryfon.
Gryfon: (blinks) me, sir?
Regal: yes you, and perhaps tonight you'll dress the part instead of that.... that....
HHH: Waitaminit, Regal - you're saying the new guy's gonna run the show tonight?
Regal: Indeed. (hands gryfon some paperwork) this is all I've done for the show tonight, so I will leave the rest up to you, Mr. Gryfon.
Gryfon: (carefully takes the paperwork and reads it, pondering the possibilities)
HHH: I don't like this, Regal, even if you're started him off, I'm bettin you didn't even give us OUR matches yet.
Orton: Regal, come on, man, the new guy doesn't know how to manage a show this big. Let me take care of things tonight, and show him how it's done (reaches for the paperwork)
Gryfon: (pulls the paperwork back) I at least know not to schedule tag teams against you for your title.*
Orton: huh?
Gryfon: Never mind (flips through the paperwork) Gentlemen, if you really want your worries assuaged by me, then we'll do this - you two can face off in a non-title match tonight so that our fine fans in Indianapolis can get a taste of what they'll be seeing at Wrestlemania 24.
Regal: a smashing idea. Now, Mr. Gryfon, let me go over what else we have for tonight... (the two walk out)
HHH: (glares at Orton)
Orton: (shoulders his belt) I'll see you in the ring. (walks out)
(opening credits)
GMtR: huh. Apparently they ran out of things for their three main eventers already (FFs.... stops when he sees "Highlight reel" hmm... (FFs)
(Rick stops as he spots JJericho posing on the corners and pointing out a sign in the crowd**)
Y2J: Welcome to the return of the Illustrious Highlight Reel~! (Pyro) This is the talk show that spawned all the imitators - The Cutting Edge, Carlito's Cabana, The VIP Lounge, Are you smarter than a Snitsky, Cooking with Goldberg - all of those but tonight we're BACK, Baby~! (crowd cheers) And tonight I originally wanted to talk about MY match -the Money in the Bank ladder match, but I decided that we already know a lot about that. This is the match where superstars and a handful of ladders compete for a briefcase with a prize so valuable we're willing to risk our very careers for - a contract for a guaranteed title shot at any time over the next year! Actually, I wanted to bring out a guest tonight, someone we really don't know a whole lot about, yet he's come here and amazed us with his words, his abilities and his honesty so Ladies and Gentlemen give it up for our General Manager of the night - a man who needs an introduction since he's only been here three months - GRYFON!
("Train of Angels" fires up and Gryfon walks down to to the ring dressed more in the style of a GM - a nice shirt and slacks, but it's noted he has his wrestling boots on. Crowd gives him a good pop)
Y2J: welcome to the Highlight Reel, Gryf, and it sounds like the crowd here really likes you! (crowd cheers some more) Now a lot of people here have never seen what you're capable of, so I did a little research and came up with something. If it's ok, I'd like to show these people some of that spectacular superheroics you've shown when you fight against such heinous villains as.... (takes a card out of his pocket) Underdog? Stink Boy? Black Moose? Outrageous the lost Hologram? Wow, I guess the superhero business isn't all that busy.
CTG: (smirks)
Y2J: if you'll please turn your attentions to the Jaw-droppingly, obscenely and obesely expensive JeriTron 6000 (in HD!) and see what you've been up to before coming to WWE. MONKEYS!
(a video plays of many of Gryfon's exploits against UnderDawg, STank, Moose and Altrageous... Firehild is seen in some shots)
Y2J: (after the video ends) was I in there? Anyway, since your "thing" is a superhero I wanted to ask you the quesiton that was asked me when I came back a few months ago.... are you here to save_us?
CTG: In a sense, I am - Your mission was spoiled by a very bitter man, but I have confidence in your abilities when you face a contingent of our best in the Money in the Bank ladder match.
Y2J: I'm flattered, thank you-
CTG: However- tonight, I wish to ask that we celebrate the return of your vaunted talk segment with a test of skill! I want to see if you're truly the knight in shiny armor that these fans say you are.
CTG: you underestimate a superhero's preparedness (the dress shirt and slacks tear off quickly)
Y2J: (impressed)I guess we got a match! (shrugs and pulls his shirt off) all I need is a ref and a handful of assclowns out here to clear the set! Monkeys in the truck, run something else while we get this together!
JR: I... I guess we're having a match! and it's next!
(ads)
GMtR: (FFs to watch the match, when his phone rings. He groans when he sees that Bennett has more grunt work for him)
*Orton ran a Raw as a prize from Survivor Series, and made it sound like Regal and Eugene were getting a World title shot.
**as seen on Raw, pointing out a fan sign before the segment started.
EDIT: strange random crap in the post
Edited again to delete more random crap and add footnotes.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:52:52 GMT -5
General Manager the Rick slams the phone down after his tounge lashing from Bennett.
GMtR: Damn That man! This is going to give my ulcers ulcers. Davin's going to have to get some answers out of some of these fence-sitters.
(Just then, Puck Dupp, Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich, and The Philly Satanic walk through Rick's door.)
GMtR: I don't think I scheduled any of you this week.
DSCDVE: You didn't but listen up chief, some of us have been talking, and we think you are in need of some foot-soldiers in this here war.
PD: The 3 of us decided we'd pledge our alliegence to you, in exchange for full-time OOWF contracts.
TPS: We need the work, you need the help, It's win-win baby!
GMtR: Hold on, I can't afford 3 NEW cvontracts! I had to do some fancy filing to make The Heels outlandish contracts fill the budget.
(All three jobbers start jammering away, and nothing makes sense. Carl From Fresno walks by the open door and enters the fray.
CFF: Someone said contract! I deserve a contract too! The fans LOVE me!
DSCDVE: You're homeless
CFF: But the fans LOVE me!
PD & TPS: You're homeless.
CFF: Good point, But if anyone here gets a contract, I'm fighting you for it.
(Rick presses a button on his intercom and 3 of Mianus's finest come and escort the 4 jobbers away. )
GMtR: As if I didn't have enough to deal with. My assistant should be handling jobbers. Where is he? And he better have some answers! (pauses as if in thought) Though having more bodies on our side wouldn't hurt.......
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:53:17 GMT -5
As Carl From Fresno is leaving Rick's office he is called over by F. Fonzworth MacCappington III.
FFM- Carl...come over here.
CFF- Yeah. what's going on, sir?
FFM- You do know I'm originally from Fresno as well, right?
CFF- Oh yeah! I knew that. You're the biggest thing from Fresno since Kevin Federline!
FFM- I piss on Kevin Federline.
CFF- So what did you want to talk to me about?
FFM- Well, I have some money, as you know.
CFF- Who doesn't know that?
FFM- So I could probably convince Rick to sign you to a contract if I financed it.
CFF- Would you do that for me!? Seriously!? What do I have to do!?
FFM- I'll give you one month from today. So that's four Mayhems and a pay-per-view, figure out a way to get yourself booked onto a show.
CFF- I can do that! They let me wrestle all the time! Then what do I have to do?
FFM- Win.
CFF- What? Win a match. Win a match and I'll get you on the permanent roster.
CFF- I've never won before...
FFM- Well, figure out a way.
CFF- Okay, I'll do my best!
FFM- I'm asking you to do better than that.
CFF- Okay...I'll do your best!
FFM- That's more like it.
CFF- Can I touch your belt?
FFM- No fuckin' way.
CFF- There's Eric OMac! Hey can I touch your title!?
EOM- Get away from me, bum.
As Eric passes MacCappington they *clink* their belts together and Eric goes on his way.
CFF- What was that about?
FFM- Don't worry about it.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:54:03 GMT -5
Viper just watched the scene and then he has a sad frown.
DV: I wish I had a belt to clink with.
LD Williams comes charging with a chair, bashing it over Viper.
LDW: Too bad! I'm taking the belt this week from Stank and I'll be a clink clink, brother!
DV (rubbing his sore head): I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!
Stank comes rushing in and bashed LD Williams over the head with a chair as well!
St: That's for bashing me on the head with a chair, you damn bastard!
Then Stank smashes Viper in the head with a chair, too!
DV (rubbing even sorer head): OW! FUCK! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!
St: BEcause you're a punk bitch, Viper!
FFM: Hey, Stank! Clink?
St: I ain't clinking shit with you, benedict.
Stank leaves.
DV: Why did you just stand there and watch both of them hit me with chairs?
FFM: Um.... I wasn't in the promo yet?
DV: Damn that Stank! And damn that LD Williams! I'd be clinking right now if it wasn't for him!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:54:23 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland and Alexis Darling are SITTING~! in a restaurant, presumably in Mianus. Not that there's a restaurant in Mianus. What do I know? There could be.*
DM: Thank you for meeting with me, I appreciate it *opens his notepad*
AD: You know why it had to be here...right?
DM: Of course.
AD: I dunno how Alexander would react, you know? But I figure I should listen at least - the beatdown on my brother at Mayhem wasn't that promising.
DM: No. It wasn't.
AD: All right, so what do you have?
DM: Pretty simple, Ms. Darling...
AD: Alexis
DM: Alexis...we don't do back room deals and we're not about making empty promises. Your career track is based on your performance. You win, you get title shots. You lose, you eventually job to S-Y-B. The company is financially viable without Bennett thanks to corporate sponsorship which is already in place. Eventually, if there is a schism; Rick and I have been talking about creating profit-sharing program - similar to revenue or merchandise sharing, if you will. We've got a bright vision for the future of the OOWF, and obviously, we feel the DEA is a big part of it.
AD: You say obviously; but you have this thing about breaking my brother's nose.
DM: *resists urge to giggle* What Alexander and I have gone through is business. It's not personal, well, not very personal. *takes a deep breath* Listen Alexis, you're a smart woman. You obviously can see what's going on and what it's going to devolve into. We need help. Not "foot soldiers", but folks who want to be on the right side of things. Not "do the right thing", because everyone has their own vision of what "the right thing" is, and their own agenda as to what to happen.
AD: Well, ok...but what about Stank? What about that whole thing? How does that promote team unity.
DM: Stank was surprising. I never had him pegged for a prima donna. I always respected him, and he's one of the toughest sons of bitches in the whole fed. But if we're gonna do this, we have to put the egos aside and work together, or we'll implode. That will happen with Bennett...mark my words...but Rick and the rest of us...we can't afford ego. The stakes are too high. That's why I appreciate you meeting with me instead of demanding a meeting with Rick. You want more than five seconds with Rick? I can book you into an appointment a month from now. That doesn't benefit anyone. I just hope Stank will see that eventually; and if he doesn't, and he really is the high-maintanence, prima donna he's comported himself to be recently; honestly, I think he'll do more harm than good for Rick and the rest of us.
AD: Well, I'll take this all under advisement.
DM: I do appreciate it. I know it doesn't seem like it would make sense; but I think it really does long-term, Alexis.
AD: Well, I'll bring it to Alexander at the right time.
*They shake hands and she leaves*
*Davin sighs and signals the server*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:54:43 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams stumbles away from the confrontation with Stank and Viper, rubbing his skull, and is approached by SFJ#36.**
SFJ#36: “L.D., your actions at Mayhem certainly stirred things up. Do you have anything to say?”
LD: “Ow. Some people around here need to start paying attention.”
SFJ#36: “What do you mean?”
LD: “First Viper says I haven’t earned a title match, when I just won a triple threat match for a title shot, and now, Stank accuses me of hitting him with a chair when I distinctly remember hitting him with the title.”
SFJ#36: “Speaking of that, what was L.J. Bennett’s motivation in sending you to interfere in the match?”
LD: “Bennett didn’t send me anywhere. He accompanied me when I decided to go to the ring. And I did that to make a point. The title belongs to me. I will beat Stank. Period.”
SFJ#36: “And become a clink-clink brother?”
LD: “If it pisses Viper off, why not?”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:55:04 GMT -5
*Fade from black*
We fade into a view of a traditional Japanese rock garden. It is a dark night in Japan, but the garden in illuminated by thousands of candles and it’s giving us an amazing look at some fountains, some typical bonsai trees, and many other things you would not be surprised to see in a place like this. What is surprising is the person sitting in the very center of the garden; the one and only Alexander Darling. This is not the Darling we are used to seeing though as the designer clothes are no where to be found and the arrogance and bravado seem to be missing as well. Darling has on traditional jiu-jitsu clothes while he sits at a table with his eyes closed. The camera focuses on his bruised and busted face and there’s no sign of life coming from Darling as he sits completely still. After a few silent minutes, Darling opens his eyes and sees the ninja camera man on the opposite side of the garden focusing his camera right on Darling. Alexander gives a nod for the ninja to come closer and right before he gets to the little table, Darling takes the small cup of tea and drinks it.
In a very low voice with his eyes still looking down at the table, Alexander begins to speak, It’s been said that I talk a lot and on that I really don’t disagree, but it truly seems like no one is listening. And that’s there mistake. I want the fans and talent in the OOWF to realize something; I left the country I’m in right now with a purpose in mind and nothing is going to stand in my way.
See, I know my history is shrouded in mystery, but the highest of my highs and the lowest of my lows both happened not more than a stone’s throw away from where I sit right now. I became a protégé of a living and breathing icon here in Japan. A man called Poe. But guess what, playing second fiddle to a psycho like Poe wasn’t going to work for me. I had to step up, become my own man and in doing so I spit on my mentor and took everything he ever wanted for my own personal satisfaction. I took his girl then I took his title and then I took his legacy when I tossed all of that into the trash.
And you people are probably wondering how that relates to the here and now, so let me inform you of a few things. I don’t know how, but I should have realized based on the similarities, but Moosehead Jack knows this history. And in normal situations, this wouldn’t affect me, but Mr. Jack wanted to make it personal. He’ll claim it wasn’t his intent, but that would involve trusting Moose and I can’t think of any logical person who could ever trust anything he says. See, but there is a difference between the two men and while I truly, deep down hate and despise Poe there was always a level of respect.
That’s another thing Moose likes to throw out there. He respects a great deal of people and he can claim it was all mind games and truthfully, it doesn’t fucking matter to me if he’ll ever respect me. And do you wanna know why…it’s because I will NEVER respect Moosehead Jack. And I realized a big reason of that this past week; Poe…for all his faults and everything that happened between us always stood up and faced me man-to-man. Now, I’m not taking anything away from Jack’s win…it was a No DQ match and he could win in any way he wanted. But I never thought Moose would have to have 5 people come in to take care of little old me.
See, that’s the thing Moose. You’re supposed to be a legend here in the OOWF and you can’t even beat a “rookie” like me by yourself. You’re washed up and you just fail to realize it. When you need your cronies like Adrenaline, Capps, Williams, and Dead to attack me, it shows to me that you know you couldn’t beat me. You need help and that’s why you’ve become part of this war. You know you can’t stand on your own anymore, but if you say a lot of big words and hide behind the true superstars in this company, it may make you relevant for more than a brief fleeting moment. But guess what, I WILL NOT let you be relevant at my expense.
You’re going to claim this issue between us is over and I know you will avoid stepping foot in the ring with me again, at all costs. And the fact that you have Bennett in your back pocket will probably ensure I don’t face you anytime soon. But Moose, you have my word on this…we are far from finished. And normally I’d finish this with a quick Booyah, but let me take a page out of your color-by-numbers playbook.
Trust You???
How about fuck you bitch…
*Fade to complete blackness*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:55:29 GMT -5
<Moose turns off the promo by Darling and sits for a moment with a bemused look on his face>
So, it is clear once again that Darling doesn't get it. It is clear to me that he has no clue what the hell is going on outside of his own deranged little world. I NEEDED those men to beat you? Go back and look at the match Darling. I had just thrown you over the railing and I was about to leave you hanging there like a slab of beef. If anything, the rest of Bennett's men saved you.
And Darling, you like to talk. You are legend in Japan, you have done this, you have done that. I am aware of what you have done. And yet, you couldn't bead Davin Moreland one on one. You schemed and plotted with Eric to get the title off of him. And hey, I have no problem with that. Well done. But then you have the balls to say that when I do it, somehow it lessens my victory. Its all about taking advantage of the rules Darling.
See, the fact is, you are right. You don't owe me a damn thing. Respect is earned, not awarded. You are right when you say I don't respect you, because I don't. Now, as far as you respecting me? I don't care. You don't owe me anything, you don't have to fear me, you don't have to trust me, you don't have to respect me. And in the end, it won't make a damn bit of difference.
Now, there are some people who you DO owe something to. Those men might have cost you the match, but they saved your career. You see, if it was up to me, you would still be hanging there in the hallway. I could care less whether you lived or died, but Bennett is a bit more persuasive. He sees you as a potential asset in this war with Rick.
Now, Darling, I made an effort, for me, whats done is done. I helped you to your feet. You want to turn and walk away? That's fine. You want you revenge for some perceived slight? The day for that will come as well. Darling I have fought tougher men than you, I have fought men who have accomplished more than you. I have no reason to back down from you, and nothing Bennett can say will ever stop me.
But I say this once, and only once. If you can put your hurt ego aside for a bit, and side with Bennett - not me - Bennett, we can take Rick and his men down, and then, you and I will settle things once and for all. Or, you can tuck your tail between your legs and run off to Rick, our paths will cross a whole lot sooner, but the results won't change. Darling, I am willing to set this aside for now. You can hate me, you can not respect me, it doesn't matter to me in the least. As long as we are both working for Bennett, we can stay out of each others way.
But if you cross to Rick's side? Then it all changes. And it will be the biggest mistake you have ever made.
Booyah Bitch
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:56:26 GMT -5
The Heels are in an OOWF-fully paid sunny tropical vacation retreat (because it’s in their contract that they don’t have to be at events until two hours before showtime—unless they want to) along with SFJ #29.
SFJ #29: I’m here with The Heels…
AA: Stop right there, honey. You forgot an adjective.
SFJ #29 looks a bit perturbed, but starts over.
SFJ #29: I’m here with the World Tag Team Champions, The Heels…
AA: That’s better.
SFJ #29: …who this week face Outback Jack and Voltage. You go one week from a three-way title match to facing a first-time combination. Why is that?
JA: Well, 29, this is actually a test for The Heels. See, we realize that Outback Jack and Voltage are nothing more than glorified jobbers…
AA: Actually, Voltage is a jobber.
JA: True. Anyway, this match will prove that The Heels can draw crowds simply by being The Heels. It doesn’t matter who we face, crowds will still come to our matches. I remember once in Cuba when we faced Carl from Fresno and Mike the Masked Republican, and there were still 40,000 people in the stands. It’s said that Ric Flair—that loser—can make a five-star match with a broomstick? Well, The Heels can draw 20,000 while fighting BROKEN broomsticks.
SFJ #29: Last week, you backed out of the three-way match against Phantos and Lucios and The Midnight Sons. Why was that?
AA: I can handle this one, Johnny. First off, it was strategy. A countout saves our World Tag Team titles. Second, we wanted to prove that we were the team everyone came to see. And I think that was made abundantly clear. We’ve hired some monkeys in the trees to roll some footage.
Footage from last week’s Midweek Mayhem:
AA: I think it’s obvious what happened there. Referee Hale saw the crowd was losing interest in the match without The Heels involved, and did the smart thing. He rang the bell, call it a no contest and saved the fans from watching these four stiff continue to work. We did the best we could. But it’s like trying to race the Daytona 500 in a Prius.
SFJ #29: That video tapes looks…ummm…a little edited.
JA: You got yourself a nice tan there. You’ve spent a lot of time on the beach. You want to keep this job?
SFJ #29 nods.
JA: Then don’t worry about the tape!!!!! AA is a master video technician. You don’t question his talents. AA, where’d you go to school to learn that?
AA: San Francisco—MY GAWD MEAN JOHNNY—State!!
JA: Damn straight. You know they don’t give out diplomas there on a photocopier. AA knows the Coppolas personally. In fact, he dated Sophia for a while. Gave her the idea for the Oscar-winning “Lost in Translation.” In fact, he suggested casting Scarlett Johansson.
AA: Except I suggested she get naked.
JA: So don’t question our editing talents. That’s what happened! We walked, and then the ref rang the bell because the match was too boring. So this week, Outback Jack and Voltage, we’re going to make stars out of you two. Because when you’re in the ring with The Heels, you’re money. You lose, but you’re money.
AA: Did you just hit a new catchphrase?
JA: Possibly, AA. Possibly.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:56:48 GMT -5
Firechild and Chris Cole are rewatching their matches from the previous Mayhem.
FC: I can't believe we BOTH lost out matches because the refs can't see a handful of tights. It was the same mistake twice in one night.
CC: Forget about that. Winning the match on a rollup isn't really what Moose wanted to do. I'm sorry to say that given his history Hardcore might have just been trying to pull your pants down.
FC: That doesn't make me feel any better.
CC: The point is our opponents can claim a minor victory but it was just a small scurmish. We still have the big battles to be waged. Moose isn't going to settle for a rollup win. He'll want blood. His desire for it is what I'll have to use against him.
FC: And LOADED?
CC: No, they seem like they just want to keep you occupied and away from MacCappington and his Intercontinental Title. We'll have to come up with more creative ways to get back at them.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:57:13 GMT -5
<Stank is walking the halls of the OOWF arena where he arrives at GM the Rick’s office. He knocks twice then enters. Rick looks up from his mound of paperwork and for a brief moment locks eyes with the World Champ, before gesturing for the big man to sit. The Rick removes his “evil” cap, reaches into his bottom left drawer, pulls out two shot glasses and a bottle of Macallan 25. He pours a shot for himself and one for Stank who reaches over and accepts the drink, downing it in one gulp. Rick leans back in his chair and takes a sip of his drink.>
GMtR - … You remember when you gave me this bottle?
Stank – It was after Lock and I won the World Tag Team Championships for the third time.
<Rick leans his head back, closes his eyes and reflects on that day.>
GMtR – This was the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me.
Stank - …
GMtR – Moreland isn’t in the building. He’s off having a business dinner with Alexis Darling.
Stank – I’m sure her brother is thrilled.
GMtR – Alex? He’s out the country for the moment. He took his loss to Moose pretty hard. Point is, since Davin’s away, I thought I would take this opportunity to reach out to you personally. That’s why I called you here.
Stank – It wouldn’t have made a difference if Davin were here or not.
GMtR – So says you.
Stank – I can be civil… can’t say the same thing about Moreland.
GMtR – Foot soldier Stank…?
Stank – What? It’s not like I called him a prima donna, or a whiny little bitch.
GMtR – He thinks you got a big ego which...
Stank – Fuck what he thinks. You gotdamn right I got a huge ego. Ain’t no need to question it. I’m the OOWF World Champion. You don’t get to achieve the level of success I have, without an ego.
GMtR – He says you think you’re bigger than the company.
Stank – And who the fuck is he… talking that kind of shit? YOU know better Rick! I was winning championships in this company long before Davin’s punk ass ever stepped foot in an OOWF ring. I’ve worked my butt off for this Fed. I’ve gone wherever you’ve sent me, done every photo shoot, every interview, every award show, all the while knowing I could do better somewhere else.
GMtR – Aw here we go…
Stank – No Rick…! I’m trying to tell you, our last tour in Japan… those guys were leaning hard on me to stay and work for them. The money was good… I can’t say I wasn’t tempted, but I love the OOWF. Here is where I ply my trade, so you tell your boy he don’t get to question ME or MY LOYALTY to THIS company. He hasn’t earned the right. And if he insists on continuing to talk shit about me, you tell him to come try me, or he can seriously go fuck himself.
GMtR – *sigh* Oh god, look… this is not how I wanted this conversation to go. I really don’t want this crap to continue to be an issue between you two.
Stank – Well Rick this is professional wrestling… we’re not all going to get along all the time.
GMtR – I’m not asking you to get along I just wan… you know what? Let’s start over.
<GM the Rick refills Stank’s shot glass, finishes his own, then pours himself another drink. Stank picks up his glass and downs the whiskey in one gulp, while Rick sips his.>
GMtR – This is good stuff.
Stank – It better be for what I paid.
GMtR – You see this crap?
<Rick waves his hand over the stack of papers that litter his desk.>
Stank – Yeah.
GMtR- I’m not going to question your loyalty to this company… but what about your loyalty to me?
<Stank leans back in his chair silently, saying nothing, but not taking his eyes off Rick>
GMtR - … I can’t believe it… you’re siding with Bennett.
Stank – Rick… truth is… I want to side with you.
<Rick holds up his hand and Stank stops speaking. The GM crosses his arms, swiveling his chair to the left, then right… left… right. He finally settles somewhere in the middle and stares up at the ceiling exasperated.>
GMtR – After all that man has done… after what he said to you… after that insulting offer he made to you back at the PHWF…
Stank – There are enough insults to go around.
GMtR – What? Is this about what Davin’s been saying, again?
Stank – No Rick, it’s not about him… it’s about you.
GMtR – Me?
Stank – How long did it take for you to call this meeting?
GMtR – Oh for chrissakes Lucas! You do see all this shit on my desk, don’t you? I‘ve been busy.
Stank – For something as important as everyone is making this out to be you could have done me the courtesy of a phone call. Instead, you send Davin Moreland…
GMtR- He’s my assistant GM.
Stank – Fine… whatever… truth is I would have been just as annoyed had you sent Barack Obama or my mom for that matter.
GMtR – So what do you want me to do, Stank? I’m sorry I hurt your feelings!
Stank – You see? Now that’s the shit I’m talking about right there. This isn’t about my feelings or my ego. It’s about how you do business.
<Rick holds his forehead, attempting to rub away the onset of a headache… or maybe it is the whiskey.>
Stank – The battle lines are being drawn, Rick.
GMtR – You think I don’t know that?
Stank - How many folks have you got on your side? Compare that to whom Bennett has. Then look at the fence sitters. You see the discrepancy?
GMtR – I KNOW.
Stank – You ever ask yourself why… why so many aren’t falling over themselves to join you?
GMtR – Bennett and Moose have them fooled.
Stank – Do they? You think they have me fooled too? Of course you don’t think that. You know me and you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that there are more in that locker room, whether we all get along with each other or not, who feel the same way I do.
GMtR – And what do you feel?
Stank - … I feel like this upcoming civil war is all kinds of bullshit… I feel like it has gained momentum and grown into this unstoppable beast… and I feel you’re partly to blame for that.
GMtR – Me? Bennett is the…
Stank – Rick, we’ve known each other a while now. Listen to me when I tell you that your inaction… your failure to reach out to not just me… but the entire locker room has greased the wheels toward this war.
<The GM stares at Stank, incredulous at first, but as he considers the Champ’s words, his astonishment slowly gives way to… resignation. He pours himself another shot and offers Stank one, who abstains for the moment.>
GMtR - … I feel helpless.
<Stank searches Rick’s eyes for signs of jest. When none is to be found he decides after all to accept another shot of whiskey.>
GMtR – In my humble opinion… if you want to succeed here… you do the task set out before you. If you do it well, then you advance. You don’t bitch and moan about your assignment. You do it well knowing your opportunity will come.
Stank – What are we talking about here?
GMtR – I’m talking about that locker room for which you so aptly pointed out I haven’t personally reached out. I’m trying to explain why.
Stank – Ok.
GMtR – Someone has to be the authority.
Stank – Agreed.
GMtR – The inmates shouldn’t run the asylum.
Stank – Agreed.
GMtR – These guys nowadays… there is a culture of entitlement that’s severely sandifying my vagina… it’s all “Me wanty!” Me fuckin wanty!” without EARNING a damn thing! Without SHOWING me anything worth a damn. I wanty to fight that guy. Give me my match or else… fuck, even YOU power bombed me through my desk once.
Stank – And I’m ashamed of that. I lost it. I’m trying to be a better person.
GMtR – I know, which is why it’s water under the bridge.
Stank – Ok I understand some of what you’re saying. There is some of that going on…
GMtR – No, you haven’t sat in THIS chair. There’s no some… there’s a LOT of that going on. And not all of it is captured by our highly paid ninja cameramen.
Stank – So you’re saying what… it’s not easy being GM?
GMtR – I’m saying the job is thankless… and that maybe… maybe I have allowed resentment toward the locker room to… fester. When all this business with Bennett and Moose started up… I just didn’t want to be bothered with all the extraneous bullshit, so when Davin offered to help, one – I was touched by his enthusiasm for doing right by me and two – grateful for his offer to take on some of my duties.
Stank – Well I had no real beef with Davin, oversensitive prick that he is, but you didn’t stop to think, maybe having a guy who has a history of instability and abrasiveness toward the locker room might not be the best choice for rallying the troops, let alone assistant GM? I know it turned out he was a great Onslaught Champ, but that doesn’t era…
GMtR – Look, NOBODY else has stepped up to the plate. Cole has offered his services. He was actually the first to do so, but he's only interested in the fight. Davin's willing to do a little more. He wanted the job and I needed him!
<Rick finishes off his shot of whiskey.>
GMtR – You can’t begin to understand, Lucas. Davin’s been a tremendous help, but I’m still fighting a battle on many different fronts. I’m trying to hold together a company that’s falling apart. Maybe a fraction of it is my fault, but I’ve always had what’s best for the OOWF in mind. I just don’t understand how it’s all come to this.
Stank – Rick, there was a time, through all the hostilities, highs and lows where your vision for the OOWF was in synch with the rest of us. We were united, determined to make this Fed the best damn wrestling organization on the map… under your leadership. Regardless of how some of us feel about you personally we could all get behind that vision. And while I don’t absolve these guys of their wrong doing, there was all that business with Cole, and Glaw, and Moose. Somewhere along the way… I don’t know… you started to treat this place like… a job.
GMtR – It IS a job.
Stank – You know what I mean.
GMtR - …
Stank - …
GMtR - … I’ve lost sight of the vision… I’ve lost my… passion.
<Stank rises from his seat and collects his title belt.>
GMtR – So that’s it? You’re just going to leave me and join with Bennett?
Stank – I never said I was siding with Bennett. You did.
<Stank makes his way out, he pauses, then turns back toward the Rick>
Stank – Tell you what, how about I make you this offer.
GMtR – I’m listening.
Stank - … Here you are buried under all this damn paperwork… Bennett has you handcuffed. You got Eric and Moose out for your blood… maybe… maybe you should remove yourself from the equation.
GMtR – Excuse me?
Stank – Take a sabbatical. Appoint me temporary GM.
GMtR – Are you shittin me?
Stank – No. Think about it. You can go on vacation to an undisclosed location. Maybe sit on a beach somewhere where you can relax. Perhaps you might feel compelled to write a few columns for our website’s main page while sipping from a Corona with lime.
GMtR – Ha. Ha. Fuck you.
Stank - I’ll sit here and deal with Bennett, and Moose, and whoever wants some, and by the time you’re ready to come back I promise I’ll have the war all straightened out. Hell maybe there won’t even be one.
GMtR – Fuck me there won’t. The World Champ as GM could touch off a war on its own.
Stank – Well that won’t be your problem now, will it?
GMtR – I can’t appoint you GM!
Stank – Why? I can be impartial.
GMtR – Suuure you can.
Stank – I’d book myself against any deserving candidate.
GMtR – You do have a big ego, don’t you?
Stank – I'm just throwing it out there.
GMtR – Look, I appreciate your offer but, I’ve made my bed and I will lie in it.
Stank – Your funeral.
GMtR – It just might be… so you’re not siding with Bennett?
Stank – No.
GMtR – And you’re not siding with me.
Stank - …sorry.
GMtR – Well you’re going to have to choose sometime.
Stank – Why does everyone keep saying that?
GMtR - Because it's true... thanks for coming in.
Stank - Look, Rick one other thing I want to say. Despite what Davin would have you believe, I'm not completely dismissive of the opportunity you provided in me getting this title.
GMtR - No man, it was all you. We couldn't ignore the heat you and Crete had generated. The fan's reactions to that whole ordeal was something to behold. Given that and all that mess going on with our senior referee, most of us on the booking committee knew we had to give you a shot at the title.
Stank - Most of you...?
GMtR - Guess who was opposed.
Stank - Who?
GMtR - Bennett.
Stank - What? Shit with him just keeps piling. I didn't even know he was on the booking committee at that time.
GMtR - This business with Bennett has been brewing for a lot longer than you realize, Lucas. There's a shitload about this that none of you know about. I wouldn't underestimate him, man. I'm not even sure that conversation you recorded would be enough to get to him. Otherwise I would have asked you for that recording a long time ago.
Stank - Damn.
GMtR - Yeah.
Stank - ...
GMtR - You want to reconsider joining my side? I could use you.
Stank - ... I'm going back to the Destroyitarium... good luck, Rick.
GMtR - Good luck to you against Williams. I know you've been wanting that match for a while.
<Stank walks out of Rick's office as the camera fades...>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:57:35 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland returns to Mianus, and goes into the main door of the arena, and directly into the GMs Office*
DM: Boss.
GMtR: How'd it go?
DM: Better than I expected.
GMtR: Did you get a commitment?
DM: HA! Of course not. No one commits when you give them a choice. I'm taking "I'll think about it" as a positive response.
GMtR: *pours himself another shot of Macallan 25* Want some?
DM: Yeah, sure.
*GM the Rick pours Davin a shot*
GMtR: Well, I want you to know. I talked to...
DM: I know.
GMtR: You know?
DM: Yeah. Of course. Ninja Cameramen are everywhere you know.
GMtR: True...
DM: Anyway, it's not a big deal.
GMtR: I figured you'd be outraged.
DM: Not really. I mean, I'm still a little surprised at his initial reaction; but I guess I can see his side at this point. It's not worth starting a problem over. I respect him too much.
GMtR: You sound like Moose.
DM: Cute, Rick.
GMtR: I thought so.
DM: Suffice it to say, I guess we don't really know each other that well. I figured all the months of autograph signings and photo shoots would have resolved that; but I guess you can only exchange pleasantries to a point before it's just a superficial deal.
GMtR: I'll be honest, Davin; I was a little surprised myself. I thought he'd understand without explanation - but we talked; he gets it. And he's got a point, we have a long history, and I shouldn't have sent you to do it. Especially since he apparently isn't comfortable with your mental state.
DM: What the fuck is wrong with my mental state?
GMtR: Well, nothing now; but you've had a history in the past.
DM: He just is begging for me to hate him, isn't he? I mean my God, I'm on my meds and I rarely if ever act irrationally. I got pissed off, and I think rightly so to a degree. Everyone gets pissed off. It's not a sign of mental illness. If I'm floating around here shiny happy all the time, you may as well check me into the nearest hospital for a med adjustment.
GMtR: You might be reading a bit too much into that.
DM: I probably am. I mean, I know I don't garner instant respect around here, just because I have a title. You told me I was the best man for the job; and I didn't even take it right away. I thought that was kinda bullshit you said it was because I was the only one around.
GMtR: *sighs* You have a real problem with politics, don't you?
DM: *grins* Obviously. I figure I lay things out to people the way they are, and they can take it or leave it. I just feel this is too important to drag politics into it.
GMtR: I see what you're saying; but that's just not practical, Davin.
DM: You're probably right.
GMtR: Anyway, this thing with you and Stank will likely blow over. You're both good people and wouldn't let something this petty get in the way.
DM: Rick, two things. First, I'm going to the Destroyitorium right after this to apologize.
GMtR: No shit?
DM: Yeah, no shit. I overreacted, and certainly bear some responsibility for this.
GMtR: Good on ya then. And Second?
DM: I want you to take Stank up on his offer.
GMtR: *nearly falls out of his chair* The Fuck?
DM: You and Erlana need to go. Away. For at least a week. Hell, go to St. John; you can stay at the Westin for nothing - I'll set it up with Starwood Hotels. You can even fly down on the Yum! Foods jet. We aren't really going far the next few weeks; Phantos, Lucios and I can take the Dunkin' Donuts limo.
GMtR: I'm not sure I should leave...
DM: It'll be fine. I'll handle the office bullshit, and Stank can be out front and heading the booking committee too.
GMtR: See, he's the current Champ; I don't see how he can...
DM: Fuck, Rick. Nash did it. Stank's better than Nash. Besides, if it's really a problem, he can do Number 1 Contender matches or whatever.
GMtR: Well. I'll talk to Stank again, and see if he wants to do it. I still have to think about it more.
DM: It's a good idea Rick. You need to get the fuck out for a week or so..
GMtR: You might be right.
DM: Anyway, I gotta go, and then I'll type this shit up.
*Davin leaves, and heads Di-re-ca-ly to the Destroyatorium, and comes upon Outback Jack*
DM: He here?
*OBJ belches and points with his thumb over his shoulder. Davin heads in that direction and Stank appears in the doorway, raising his hands at the sight of Moreland*
DM: *swallows and takes a deep breath* Champ, I overreacted, and didn't take your history with Rick into account, and caused a big ruckus because of it. I came here of my own volition to apologize, because all this shit is just way too important to have these squabbles for no good reason. I know you're not on a side; and I respect that; and I'm not doing this to try to get you over to Rick; I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, and I need to. Stank...Lucas...we've never had a real problem with each other, and I'd like it if we can bury this today. I apologize Lucas, I'm sorry.
*Davin extends his hand to Stank*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:58:07 GMT -5
Seamus walks to the catering area and sees Referees “Junior” Hale and Davis Hightower eating at a table…he walks over
Seamus: “Hello ladies!”
Junior: “Don’t fuck with us Seamus, we are off duty.”
Seamus: "Off duty? Well isn’t that nice…did you punch your time clock?”
Junior: “Serious man, we don’t want trouble…”
Seamus: "You know little buddy…most people aren’t…it’s kinda like dog shit…no one goes looking for it, but sometimes you step in it and it just stinks up your who day.”
Davis stands up
Davis: “Listen we’re are not intimid…”
Seamus clocks Davis with a European uppercut, rocking Davis back into the next table…
Seamus picks up Davis’ half eaten hot dog and starting slapping Junior with it
JR: “Good Gawd he beating him with a steamed dawg”
Seamus picks up Junior and body slams him through Davis and the table that Davis was sprawled out on…
Ric Flair runs over
Ric: “Whooooo what the hell are you doing?”
Seamus still holding the hotdog, slaps Ric across the face
JR: “Flair’s been cut wide open…”
Seamus starts walking away from the catering area
Hulk Hogan yells from across the room
Hogan: “Let me tell ya brother…that’s no way to treat the 16 time world champion…”
Seamus runs across the room stepping on a chair and then the table and leaps at Hogan
Seamus: “arrrrrrhhhhhhh” JR: “He’s lost it, that damn Seamus is out of control…”
Just then, The Rock pulls Seamus off Hogan
Rock: “Whoa there Jobroni, cool your candy ass down”
Seamus turns and stares at The Rock
Seamus: “Back off Dwayne, before you get hurt!”
Rock: “Dwayne? Do you know who I am, I am the great one, you want to go one on one, mano y mano with The Rock….I don’t even know who…”
Seamus hits The rock with a rock bottom, then bends over to get in his face
Seamus “IT DOESN”T MATTER WHO I AM”
Seamus: “Now off to find the waffle house boys and the Ric….”
Seamus walks away…stopping to grab Junior’s untouched cheeseburger…he eats it while walking away….
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:58:28 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack and LD Williams walk by and survey the damage left by Seamus>
LD: Is he on our side?
MHJ: Not sure. He kinda was.
LD: Well he should be. We should talk to him.
MHJ: Not without something strong
LD: 101 Proof?
MHJ: At least
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:58:59 GMT -5
*Fade In*
We’re showing the airfield of a small airport close to Mianus, Connecticut and a sweet looking luxury jet is circling the runway until it pulls to a stop near a private terminal. Once the stairs are attached, the door opens and we see Alexander Darling step out into the night. Just as he does so, a limo pulls up and we see a driver come around and let Alexis Darling and Hayden Panettiere out from the back. Alexander walks down the stairs and greets the two ladies; giving Hayden a big hug before turning to his sister.
Alexander Darling: You understand why I had to…
Alexis Darling: Understand, yes…but I really don’t like it. I thought we were going to leave it in the past.
Alexander: You know I would love nothing more than to forget everything about Japan, but it seems like some people won’t let us. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s over for now. Our next step is whoever I’m facing this week and after that, we’ll weigh our options with Bennett and figure out our next move.
Alexis: About that, since you were off doing something you know I’d hate; I went ahead and sat down with Moreland to…
Alexander: YOU DID WHAT? Why the fuck are you…
Alexis: Because it’s fucking business Alexander. And as much history as there already is with you and Davin, he is working for Rick and it’s best to keep our options open.
Alexander: But Moreland is a legitimate psycho.
Alexis: And M…Moo…Moose isn’t?
Alexander: Moose is a deaf, dumb, and blind bastard. He may remind us a little of “him,” but he’s all talk. I know your feelings about it Lex, but you don’t have to worry about him anymore. You have my word.
Alexis doesn’t look completely satisfied, but you can see her trying to have faith in her brother’s words. After a minute she gives her brother a hug and motions to the driver to open the door so they can head off to the arena.
Alexis: Do you even want to hear what Davin had to say?
Alexander: I’m assuming even if I didn’t, you’d tell me anyway.
Alexis just smirks at her brother when she pulls up all of the ninja cameramen’s footage since Alexander took his flight to Japan starting with the meeting with Moreland. Alexis goes on to explain some of the details that happened outside the all-seeing eyes of the ninjas.
Alexis: So you see why I say we have to keep our options open?
Alexander: It is interesting, but the DEA doesn’t back losers and right now Rick is losing.
Alexis: It doesn’t have to be that way and you know it. Firewoman trusts you a lot more than she trusts Eric and while it would be a small step, it’s a step. And one we should really consider.
Alexander: Maybe so Alexis…let me think about it. I think it’s time I talked to these guys face-to-face. Can you set up meetings with Rick and Bennett for myself?
Alexis: Bennett should be easy to set-up, but Rick’s having all his meetings go through Davin for now.
Alexander: If Rick is serious about this, he’ll know me meeting with Davin might be the wrong way to go about it. I’m pretty sure it’d last all of two minutes before we came to blows.
Alexis: And you don’t think you and …
Hayden Panettiere: Moose?
Alexis: Thank you Hayden…you and him would wind up in the same position.
Alexander: Not if Eric and Bennett are telling the truth that this is their fight and not the fucking washed-up fuck. If this is truly all about business for them, they’ll keep the Moose on a leash.
Alexis: I hope you’re right.
Alexander: So, what else have I missed ladies.
Alexis starts running through some of the recent OOWF events and going over the card for this week. Alexander nods when he finds out he’s facing Donovan Viper for the second time and he sees what MacCappington and Donnie had to say about him.
Hayden: Alex, would you like to comment on what the upper echelon of LOADED had to say about you or just how Mr. MacCappington held onto his title against your ally Firewoman?
Alexander: Not just yet Hayden. I had thought MacCappington and myself saw things similarly, but it seems as if I was mistaken about that. Just one of a few mistakes I’ve made recently. Mistakes that I plan on rectifying.
Hayden: Is Eric…
Alexander: No. Eric has his thing going on and I can understand that. We may not be saying eye-to-eye about certain things, but he is my friend and partner. There was no mistake in adding him to The DEA family.
The next thing that comes up is Seamus McNasty’s rampage through the locker room including his attack on Firewoman which is immediately followed by The Dead’s little talk with Firewoman.
Alexander: Alexis, make sure Dead Drunk get the message that The DEA does not take kindly to unprovoked backstage attacks and pointless threats.
Alexis: The usual, Alexander?
Alexander: Should be sufficient, but make sure he brings something from the bag, just in case.
Alexis: I’ll get him on the line and make the offer.
Alexis hits next on the video screen as the limo gets closer to the OOWF Arena. Alexander watches the Stank/Rick/Moreland triangle play out and he nods as he sees some things start to take shape and how own personal options become to weigh on his mind. Alexis sighs before moving on to the last batch of videos and we see why as Moosehead Jack appears on screen. We’re taking to a *Moments Ago* video as we see Jack’s reaction to Darling’s reflective Japanese promo. Alexander just laughs.
Hayden: What is so funny Alexander? It seems as if Mr. Jack thinks the issues between you are done and finished.
Alexander: It’s nothing Hayden. Just exactly what I was expecting, yet never would have thought would happen. It’s just like a light bulb…I’m sorry, no disrespect intended at all Jack, went off. I finally think I get it.
Hayden: Get what exactly? Did I miss something?
Alexander: No you haven’t Hayden. I think I did.
The videos finish up with Seamus McNasty’s last backstage attack followed by LD Williams and Moosehead Jack’s reaction to it.
Alexander: Interesting…driver, can you stop off at the closest liquor store to the arena please?
Limo Driver: No problem sir. It should only be a minute or two.
And in that, the driver is spot on as the limo pulls to a stop within a minute. Seconds later, the backdoor is opened and Alexander steps out.
Alexander: Ladies, can I get ya anything?
Alexander listens to what they want and he heads over to the dive-looking liquor store. He heads in and heads right to the back looking for the good stuff. He looks at some of the brandy and scotch before finding what he’s looking for; A nice bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label and a bottle of 16-year-old Glenmorangie. On picking up the bottle, Darling hears a commotion coming from the entrance of the liquor store. He looks over and tries to see what is going on…
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
He makes his way towards the front and on his way picks up a bottle of Apple Schnapps. He overhears the argument Unknown voice: I need something strong…strongest thing you have actually.
Alexander walks to the counter, What the fuck are you doing here?
The person at the counter turns around and we see that it’s the one and only Moosehead Jack.
Moosehead Jack: None of your fucking business. Now get out of my way, I’m looking for something.
Alexander: Something like this bottle of Scotch? Possibly to try and use as a gift for Seamus and get him on Bennett’s side? It’s interesting how easily predictable you are sometimes Moose.
Moose: Get out of my way Darling. I’m done with you
Alexander steps aside and places the bottles of Glenmorangie and Johnnie Walker Blue onto the counter while changing the position of how he was holding the Apple Schnapps at the same time. He turns to face the back where Moose headed to get the bottle of Scotch.
Moose: FUCK! Darling, that was the last bottle of quality Scotch in this dive. Hand it over unless you want another beating.
Alexander steps in front of the two bottles already on the counter to block Moose’s view of them. And then he moves the bottle of Apple Schnapps higher and goes to hand it to Moose.
Alexander: Here ya go Moose. Give my best to Seamus when you give it to him.
Before taking the bottle, Moose looks at it. Moose: Darling I don’t want your sister’s panty droppers yet. Maybe later tonight though.
Alexander: My bad Moose. I must have put it on the counter already. Why don’t you just go ahead and take it? I’ll put it on The DEA Credit Card to make up for everything.
Moose: Good, maybe you do have a brain.
Moose goes to pick up the bottle of Glenmorangie when he hears a whisper from Alexander.
Alexander: Brain, yes…soul, no.
Moose turns a fraction of an inch back towards Darling when he’s nailed over the head by the bottle of Apple Schnapps shattering it into thousands of pieces. Moose collapses to the ground as he starts bleeding heavily from the scalp. The worker behind the counter goes to pick up the phone to call for help when he’s stopped dead by the look in Darling’s eyes and the piece of glass that Darling has not let go of yet.. He freezes completely not daring to make a move.
Alexander: Moose, I know you can still hear me and it seems as if it’s not getting through to you. Whether or not I work with Bennett has NOTHING to do with you. That’s business and will be treated as such. This right here, between me and you, is personal.
Moose: It’s not personal and you’re dead Darling.
Alexander kicks Moose a few times in the head and stomach to keep him down. Alexander: Shut the fuck up Moose…I’m not done. You can keep claiming it’s not personal, but I know better than that. You want to let this go for the better of Bennett, the ball is in your court after tonight. Let’s see if you’re truly a man of your word. Let’s just see how much “Trust Me” really means Moose.
A few more kicks and Darling offers his hand to Moose to help him to his feet. Moose takes the offered hand and Darling pulls him close before throwing his hand down. He starts to walk past Moose, who’s trying to get his wits about him, when he stops and nails Moose with an elbow to the side of the head. He quickly picks Moose up, and sets him up for the Darling Driver and nails it right on the floor covered in glass. Darling gets up bleeding from numerous cuts, but Moose is completely out of it now.
Alexander: But never, I mean EVER, trust me Moose. BOOYAH, Bitch
Alexander isn’t done yet though as he looks down and picks up one of the bigger pieces of glass. He looks at Moosehead Jack and takes a deep breath before pulling up Moose’s shirt above his chest line. Alexander looks back and forth between Moose and the piece of glass in his hand. He seems to come to a decision and leans down closer to Moose. After a minute or two Alexander stands up, tosses the piece of glass away, reaches into his pocket, tosses a few hundred dollar bills onto the counter, picks up the two bottles of undamaged liquor bottles, and walks casually out of the store.
Once he’s out, the camera focuses in on Moosehead Jack’s chest and, my god…Alexander Darling has carved something into Jack’s chest. We try and get a closer look and we see exactly what it is.
A
$
D
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:59:28 GMT -5
<time passes and Moose gets back to the Mianus sports complex and arena where Eric and Bennett are waiting outside for Moose to show up. Moose storms to the entrance still bleeding and showing the effects of the attack>
Eric: Moose, hold on a minute, I am sure we can work this out. Darling was just pissed about last week...
<Moose shoves Eric aside and keeps going, Bennett catches up with him and stops him for a moment>
LJB: Moose, think of the bigger picture here, we can all....
MHJ: Fuck that Bennett. I was willing to let bygones be bygones before. I was willing to coexist with him for the sake of the war. But after tonight, not a fucking chance in hell. HE took this too far. I was fine with sending him a message with the no DQ match, we are all in this together. But tonight, he decided it had to stay personal. Thats fine with me. That little fuck, and that sister of his too, they will both bleed by the time I am done.
<Moose storms off into the arena leaving Bennett and Eric standing in the cold>
LJB: This is a serious problem we have here. What are we going to do about it?
EOM: Fucking Darling. I can try to talk to him
LJB: You do that, I'll see if I can talk some sense into Moose
EOM: Good luck
<Bennett frowns and walks away>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 9:59:50 GMT -5
D.H. Magnusson: Man, I ain't got a clue. Too damn many people with too damned many agendas around here, and suddenly Spin an' me are in the middle of it. : *silence* DHM: Usually it's just fightin'. Fightin' I can handle. But this politics crap...Stank's pissed at Moreland, Spin's pissed at Rick, Stank's gonna probably piss Spin off again, and that headache was just goin' away. We got Bennett wantin' meetings, Davin mouthpiecin' for Rick, everyone and their damned cousins wanderin' into the 'tarium runnin' the best pitches they got at us...And now Darling is lookin' to get involved, and who in th' hell knows what that's all about... : *silence* DHM: We throw in with Rick, an' it's same old line...unless Bennett pulls this off. We throw in with Bennett, an' we're sellin' our souls off - and screwin' ourselves if Rick pulls this out. Jack's talkin' about stayin' out of it....And as pretty as that sounds, it ain't gonna be an option forever. : *silence* DHM: So we gotta pick a side. We gotta choose an army, and we gotta hope were backin' the the right horse. Because one way or a'other, someone's gettin' screwed over this. : *silence* DHM: And to top it all off, me an' Spin gotta get our heads right an' get the belts back. Phantos and Lucios ain't just gonna lay down for us. : *silence* DHM: Hey, thanks for lettin' me talk this out at you, huh? Here, take this...I gotta thing I gotta do. DHM digs a few crumpled bills out his pocket and stuffs them into the hand of Carl From Fresno, who may be unconcious, asleep, dead, or any combination of the three. DHM: Go getcha a sandwich at Ric's or somethin'. *DHM exits, and after few moments, CFF begins to stir* CFF: Huh?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 10:00:12 GMT -5
**Moosehead Jack storms down the hallway and walks into L.D.Williams.**
LD: “So, I’m guessing you didn’t get the bottle.”
MHJ: (giving L.D. a look that would melt lead) “Move.”
**Jack pushes past, but Williams grabs his arm and spins him around, slamming him back against the wall.**
LD: “Normally, when you get that look in your eye I’m off to find a cold drink and some popcorn so I can enjoy the show. But, I don’t really see an upside to you killing Alexander just now.”
MHJ: “Did you see what he fucking did to me?”
LD: “Yep. Pretty much exactly what you would’ve done to somebody who dismissed you. I warned you that Alex was a tough bastard. If you didn’t want to waste your time with him, you should’ve kept your mouth shut. The way you ran him down, he didn’t have much choice but to react.”
MHJ: “He has my attention now.”
**Jack shoves Williams away an and tries to storm off, but Williams pulls him back.**
LD: “If you want everybody else to put their differences aside for the sake of winning this war, then you have to lead by example. Alex made his point. Let it be until Bennett and Eric have a chance to bring the DEA on-side.”
MHJ: “…”
LD: “At least give me a chance to set up a pool and collect some bets.”
**Jack continues to glare, but looks somewhat calmer.**
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