OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-12-08

[mooseheadjack]

CAPELLAN vs. ECOSYSTEM

Angelo Barros is YOUR referee!

Slow circle to start. Lockup, Eco with the opening advantage, pushing Cap to the ropes. Barros calls for the clean break and gets it. Eco backs up a step or two, then slaps Capellan! Crowd oohs and ahhs, but Cap's smile vanishes as he slowly turns back to Eco and pushes up on the ropes to kick Eco in the face! Eco staggers off, but Cap charges - in one motion is on Eco's shoulders, twists, and headscissors Eco into the opposite corner, face-first into the middle turnbuckle! Crowd cheers as Cap saunters over and yanks Eco away from the corner so he lands on his face! Cap rolls Eco over and gets a one count. Cap reaches for Eco who rolls him up quickly, but again a one count. Cap tries to get back to his feet but Eco is quick to his knees - he kicks out and trips Cap, who partially catches himself, then is rocked by a knee to the face! Cap rolls away holding his nose. Eco gets to his feet and follows Cap, casually pushing Cap to the floor from the apron. The fans on that side hear him make a snide remark about Cap's aerial offense before backing away so Barros can start a 10 count. Cap starts to get to his feet but Barros is not watching Eco as he baseball slides out of the ring and puts cap into the barricades! Barros protests, but Eco ignores him as he slides completely out of the ring, gathers him, and starts swinging. The punches seem to wake Cap up! Cap starts swinging back, trying to get away and slide back in the ring, but Eco sees the count is at seven and buries a knee in Cap's midsection. Eco then rolls Cap back in the ring at eight, and at nine is on the apron, leaping over the ropes and flattening Cap with a hilo. He drags Cap away from the ropes and covers, 1, 2, - NO! Eco mounts Cap and punches him a few more times, then covers again - 1, 2, NO! Eco stands, tries to stomp Cap but he rolls clear! Eco lashes out with a kick but Cap catches Eco's foot! Dragonscrew leg whip! Eco gets to his feet and is dropkicked! Eco snaps to his feet and eats a dropsault! Eco staggers to his feet and gets bulldogged! Cap snaps to his feet and calls to the crowd. As they get to their feet, Cap runs for the corner, PUSHING OFF ECO'S BACK and hits the middle ropes. He steps up one and launches a gorgeous corkscrew moonsault that splatters Eco all over the mat! Cap is slow to move after landing such a picture-perfect maneuver, but he rolls to Eco and flops over him for the three count.

WINNER in 7:32 Capellan

Barros raises Capellan's hand, but stops to speak with him before heading to the back. Capellan nods, poses for the crowd, then jogs backstage.

DONOVAN VIPER vs. ALEXANDER DARLING

Donovan Viper enters the arena alone, and makes his way to the ring, He warms up, then glares up the aisle as the lights dim and ”There Can Be Only One” starts to play. Alexander and Alexis Darling walk onto the stage, pause while ”Prelude 12/21” plays, and head to the ring to the strains of ”Princes of the Universe”. The Darlings enter the ring and pose for the booing crowd, and Viper takes the opportunity to leer at Alexis, who grimaces and heads to ringside. Alex holds the ropes for his sister, and gets blindsided by Viper, who tackles Alex into the ropes, knocking Alexis to the floor. Referee Junior Hale leaves the ring to check on Alexis as Viper kicks Alex to the floor. As Viper follows Alex outside, Alexis puts an arm around Hale and tosses something to her brother behind the referee’s back. Viper picks Alex up and eats a brass knuckle assisted punch. Alex puts the knucks in his boot and rams Viper’s face into the ringpost. Alexis releases Hale as Alex shoves Viper back into the ring. Alex pulls Viper to his feet a shoves him into the corner. He gets in a series of chops, then attempts an Irish whip but Viper reverses, following Alex into the opposite corner with a savage elbow to his oft-injured nose. Alex sags, but Viper props him up and hits a number of shots to the midsection. He sets Alex on the top rope and climbs up after him. Viper sets up a superplex, but Alex fights back. Viper subdues him with shots to his bleeding nose, hooks his head, and plants him with a Top Rope DDT. Viper covers, but Alex gets a foot on the bottom rope to break the count. Viper scrapes Alex off the mat to continue his assault, but drops him when Alexis gets up on the apron. Alexis and Viper exchange words, which buys Alex enough time to clear his head and hit Viper with a low blow from behind. Viper doubles over, and Alex springs to his feet and spikes him with a DDT. Both men are dazed, and get up slowly. Alex is a shade faster, and snaps Viper over with an arm drag, then hits him with a knee to the face as he gets up. Alex hits the ropes and drives an elbow into Viper’s throat, and covers for two. Alex is the first one up again, and moves to attack, but Viper ducks a punch and catches him with a release German suplex. He goes for the Death Elbow as Alex gets up, but Alex sees it coming and drops to the mat. Viper hits the ropes, and Alex hits a single leg takedown. He rolls to his feet, grabs Viper’s arms – Curb stomp! Alex pulls Viper to his feet and slings him to the ropes. He drops to the mat as Viper comes back, then hits a dropkick to the face that sends Viper over the ropes to the floor. Alex steps onto the apron and waits for Viper to get up, then leaps off and drives his elbow into Viper’s forehead. Viper hits the floor hard, and comes up bleeding. Alex presses the advantage, driving Viper’s head into the railing and then the ring post. He braces Viper against the ring post and goes for a discus punch, but Viper slips out of the way and he hits the post. Alex goes down, clutching his hand. Viper slides into the ring to break the count, then steps onto the apron and jumps off, bringing his weight down on Alex’s injured hand. Viper pulls him up by the hand, winds it up, and pulls Alex into a short arm clothesline. Alex goes down, but Viper keeps his grip on the hand, dragging Alex to the ring and shoving him inside. Viper kicks Alex, then plants him with a body slam. He drives an elbow into his throat and covers, but Alex kicks out at two. Viper pulls Alex up and slings him into the corner, following him in with a running knee lift. Alex stumbles out of the corner and Viper spikes him with DDT. Viper pops his hips and rolls them to their feet and hits a second DDT. He rolls up again and tries to complete the D-3, but Alex blocks and reverses, lifting Viper up and dropping him over the rope to the outside. As Alex follows him out, Alexis climbs onto the apron, distracting Junior’s attention. Alex pulls the knucks from his boot and puts them on his uninjured hand. He takes a wild swing but Viper ducks it, spearing him into the ring apron. Viper grabs his chain and wraps it around his arm before following Alex back into the ring. Alex gets slowly to his feet – Chain Assisted Death Elbow! Viper tosses the chain and covers, but the bell rings. Alexis saw Viper with the chain and turned Junior around in time to see him use it.
WINNER, by disqualification, in 18:36, Alexander Darling.

After the match Viper just laughs and picks the chain up, stands Darling up in the corner and hammers him repeatedly in the face with it until Darling slumps to the mat a bloody mess. Alexis jumps onto the apron and yells at Viper, but he moves toward her and she jumps back off the apron and staggers back against the guardrail, eyes wide. Viper pulls Darling to the middle of the ring and wraps the chain around Darling’s throat and lock him in the Anaconda Vice. Darling struggles, but quickly loses consciousness. Viper releases the hold and Darling gasps for breath and slowly regains consciousness. Viper leans in close and we hear him say “know you place rook.” Then he rolls out of the ring and heads to the back.

DAVIN MORELAND vs. FIREWOMAN

Davis Hightower is in the ring awaiting the combatants.

Word from the back says we have another special Firewoman entrance for this match as The DEA, while working through internal strife, does seem to come together for the shows and work together. And to show that unity, Alexander Darling and Eric O’Mac have come out onto the stage once again to support Firewoman as she comes out for her match with Davin Moreland. We did hear that Firewoman has been insistent that no marching band show up or there would be issues. But we do know the entrance music has to stay as the contract with Gwen Stefani has another few weeks left. So here we are in Mianus, CT and we hear the entrance song for Firewoman; ”Hollaback Girl” Firewoman comes out in her normal wrestling attire and a step behind her is Alexis Darling. Firewoman looks over to the side and notices her allies staring over with huge grins. Alexander mouths an “I’m sorry” as he makes a gesture to the back.

The music gets a little lower and all of a sudden we hear,

KENNY!!!

JOHNNY!!!

MITCH!!!

NICKY!!!

MIKEY!!!

And we are the FIRE SQUAD!!!

Firewoman looks over towards Alexander with a death glare and he can’t help but look a little like a scolded child. As the Fire Squad jumps around behind Firewoman, Alexander and Eric share a look and seem to come to a decision. They walk right past Firewoman and start to kick the shit out of the squad. A release German Suplex from Eric to Nicky and he’s done, a crucifix bomb from Alexander to Mikey and he’s out of the picture. Alexis even gets a little involved hitting a Chick Kick onto Kenny. Firewoman smiles at the support from her allies and hits a running Pèlè kick onto Johnny. That leaves Mitch all alone on the stage with the entire DEA. Eric moves to one side of Mitch while Alexander gets into position on the other side…TOTAL ELIMINATION!!! TOTAL ELIMINATION!

Alexander points to the back and "Firewoman" starts to play. Eric and Alexander give Firewoman a knuckle bump as they wish her luck before heading to the back. Firewoman and Alexis then make their way down to ringside. She bounces off the ropes; stretching a couple times before her opponent arrives.

“Pull Me Under” fires up and the crowd pops; Davin’s still enjoying homefield advantage it seems. However, no Davin shows at the top of the ramp. The music stops, and then starts again. Firewoman in the ring, looks annoyed as there’s still no Davin. We cut to a shot on the Jumbotron; it’s Davin talking to Kenny Dykstra as he’s loaded onto the ambulance. Kenny will be ok, but Davin is noticeably pissed off.

“Pull Me Under” starts for a third time, and this time Davin appears to a homefield pop. He raises his arms but doesn’t even look at the crowd, focusing only on the ring. Firewoman can thank Mr. Darling for a pissed off Davin. Davin double-leaps into the ring and goes right after Firewoman, so Hightower calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Davin is relentless to start, landing clubbing blows and chops, taking Firewoman down in the corner. Davin stomps a Mudhole. Finally, Hightower gives Davin a count, demanding a break, and Davin relents at 4. Firewoman struggles to her feet; already bleeding. They SO wouldn’t show this match on Spike. Davin jogs the opposite direction, and flies full-speed into the corner with a HUGE splash. You can audibly hear the breath leave Firewoman’s lungs. Davin hip-tosses Fire out of the corner, and hits a low dropkick. He eschews the cover and instead locks on a Mark Henry Memorial Armbar ™. They’re in the middle of the ring, and Firewoman is in some SERIOUS trouble. Fire is holding out, to her credit, as she tries to flip her way out of it; but Davin will NOT be denied, and floats the Armbar into the CROSSFACE. Fire is in about 15 different kinds of trouble. Somehow, someway, Fire reaches the ropes, and Hightower calls for the break. Davin doesn’t release the hold, and goes through a full five count, and a couple of DQ warnings, finally backs off momentarily. He charges quickly again, but the beaten-up Firewoman manages a Drop-Toe Hold, and Davin’s throat goes right into the ropes, and he’s stunned. Fire crawls out the other side and powders to the floor.

Davin manages to get to his feet, and a quick scan of the ring turns up no Firewoman. Davin springs off the near ropes and LEAPS…NO HANDS PLANCHA to the OUTSIDE, and NOBODY HOME! Davin crashes all the way to the barrier as Firewoman manages to dodge the big man. Firewoman, still bloody, manages to get to her feet. Kick to the head. Kick to the head, Kick to the ribs. Kick to the knee. Kick to the hamstring. Kick to the knee. Fire rolls into the ring to break the count, and we see how badly Davin has crashed and burned as he rolls over. His nose is clearly broken, and has a huge gash over his left eye, which is already swelling. He’s a crimson mask, but the gross, leaky/gushing kind. Now, with his leg screwed up from Firewoman’s kicks, and likely with a concussion as well, he tries to stand. As he gets to his feet, Firewoman takes off from the apron with a CORKSCREW LEGDROP! Davin collapses like a ton of bricks. Fire lands three or four more kicks to the dome, and a couple more to the knee, before bundling back into the ring. Hightower reaches a 9 count before Fire breaks it with a SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP to the back of the head; sending Davin’s head hard off the apron and flat on his back.

Firewoman now stands in complete control, as Hightower counts again. At 5, it appears she’ll be happy with the Countout win; but at 7, she changes her mind, climbs the turnbuckle, and hits a BME TO THE OUTSIDE! Fire scrambles back into the ring. Davin is NOT getting back into the ring without help. At 6, Fire looks to provide that help, and somehow gets Davin to his feet, and back into the ring. Davin is really not looking good, and they should probably hold that ambulance. Davin is completely sprawled out in the ring; unresponsive. The crash and burn really seems to have done him in. Hightower slides in to check for signs of life. Seeing nothing, he goes to Firewoman and gives her some explicit instructions; to which Firewoman responds with the International Signal for “You’re Number 1”.

Fire quickens the pace; landing everything on the defenseless Davin. SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP! CORKSCREW LEGDROP! BME! FIRESAULT! Even Firewoman is exhausted, and Hightower pleads with her to stop. Firewoman ignores him, and looks to lock on the FIRETAMER, but:

Russ: Somehow! Someway!

Davin somehow slips his legs out of Firewoman’s grasp; gets to his feet on spaghetti legs and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER FROM NOWHERE! Firewoman is DONE! Davin is PAST DONE, and unable to cover. He’s really done, completely unconscious and sprawled on the mat. How in HELL did he land that Diamond Cutter? Hightower counts.

Hightower gets to 9 and Firewoman gets to her feet, using the ropes to pull herself up. She rubs the back of her neck (selling the Diamond Cutter, nice job Fire), and shakes her head at the now VERY bloody Davin. Hightower looks really concerned now, and BEGS Firewoman to finish it. Finally, a hurting and also kinda bloody Firewoman obliges and hits one last FIRESAULT. Instead of covering, she floats over and locks on the FIRETAMER and Hightower doesn’t even check on Moreland. He calls for the bell and says something to the time keeper.
WINNER BY STOPPAGE IN 13:41, FIREWOMAN!

Firewoman is PISSED at the decision, screaming it should have been submission. Hightower seems to talk her off the ledge. “It’s still a clean win, yadda yadda”. This doesn’t seem to sparkle with Firewoman. Hightower is X-ing as much as he can, and the real Paramedics show up to attend to the big man. Firewoman now joins the crowd of people. Davin is rolled onto a backboard and collared, but he stirs a little. Eventually you hear Davin’s voice growing louder and louder…

“RAISE HER ARM! RAISE HER FUCKING ARM, HIGHTOWER!”

Hightower concurs with Davin’s sentiments, and raises Firewoman’s arm as high as he can. Firewoman’s demeanor changes slightly, as she gets some well-deserved pop from the crowd. It’s a clean win for Firewoman over a former champ. This sparkles with her nicely, and the rest of DEA passes the stretcher on the ramp, joining in her celebration

[mooseheadjack]

CHRIS COLE vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK

Moosehead Jack comes to the ring first, and appears to be in a particularly nasty mood, I wonder what could have caused THAT? “The Main Event” Chris Cole comes to the ring next to the cheers of the fans. He climbs between the ropes and Moose immediately charges out of the corner and nails Cole in the back of the head with an elbow. Cole staggers to the ropes and Moose takes both of them over the ropes with a running clothesline. Cole hits the floor hard, momentarily stunning him, Moose pounces and tries to lock on the ji-endo, but Cole reaches under the ring and grabs a chair and slams it back into Moose’s face sending Moose sprawling. Cole gets to his feet and grabs Moose and throws him on top of the Costa Rican Announce table and climbs up and sets Moose up for a Headliner, but Moose back drops out of it. Cole slams his lower back on the table and falls to his knees in pain. Moose slides off the table and grabs the hammer to ring the bell and pulls Cole’s head back and hammers him with the hammer, opening a gash on his forehead. Moose shoots Cole back into the ring and follows him, dropping an elbow across his chest and covering, but only getting a one count. Jack pulls Cole to his feet and hits a chin breaker, then connects with a spinning first that catches Cole right on the temple and sends him between the ropes again. Moose once again follows him to the outside and lays him on the Finnish Announce Table. Moose climbs onto the apron and tries a running elbow drop, but Cole rolls off the table at the last second and Moose crashes through the table! Cole gets to his feet and grabs a piece of the table and hammers Moose in the face with it, opening several cuts of his own. Both men are a bloody mess. Cole pulls Moose out of the wreckage and plants him on the floor with a snap suplex, then climbs to the apron and leaps off dropping a knee down across Moose’s chest. Moose gasps and coughs up a little blood, Cole pulls him up and rolls him under the ropes into the ring. Cole climbs to the top rope and waits for Moose to get to his feet, when Moose turns toward Cole, Cole leaps and nearly decapitates him with a flying clothesline. As Moose falls to the mat, the referee catches an elbow to the face. Moose rolls out of the ring to the floor and tries to regain his composure, Cole leans between the ropes and reaches for Moose, but Moose cracks him across the face with a barbed wire bat! Cole falls back into the ring and writhes in pain, since there is no referee there is no one to call for the DQ right there. Moose presses his advantage and pulls a pair of hand cuffs out of his pocked and cuffs Cole into the corner trapping him there with his exposed back to Moose. Jack grabs the barbed wire bat and slowly pulls off a long strand of wire. Moose gets a sadistic grin on his face, then lashes Cole repeatedly across the back, leaving horrific long scars across his back. Firechild runs to the ring and jumps up on the apron and Moose moves toward him and swings wildly with the piece of barbed wire. As Firechild and Moose are having a face off, GM the Rick rushes to ringside with bolt cutters and clips the cuffs freeing Cole. Rick also appears to hand Cole something that he wraps around his hand. Firechild bails and Moose turns his attention back to Cole, Cole spin and NAILS Moose in the face with a barbed wire wrapped fist. Cole staggers a bit, weak with blood loss, and Moose crawls across the ring, blood running from the freshly opened cut on his face. LJ Bennett comes through the crowd and slides something to Moose in the middle of the ring, it’s a rolled up piece of barbed wire for Moose as well. Cole grabs the strand of wire and wraps it around Moose’s throat and pulls back, digging the barbs into Moose’s neck. Moose wraps the wire around his fist and reaches up and rakes it across Cole’s face causing him to break the hold. Both men wearily get to their feet and face off, then start hammering each other with the barbed wire, everywhere they connect with a shot leaves bloody puncture wounds. The referee finally comes back around and sees what is going on and immediately calls for the bell, then motions for security to break this up before the two of them kill each other. Security floods the ring and separates them. This one is a no contest.
WINNERS – No Contest in 15:55

Led Zepplin's "Immigrant Song" suddenly blares from the arenas PA, and the MIDNIGHT SONS are on their way to the ring!

D.H. MAGNUSSON: Y'know, there's a been a lot of talk lately about choosin' sides. An' a lotta talk about people wantin' t'know what side the Midnight Sons are gonna fall on.

SPIN HANSEN: Stank, Jack - you boys are going to want to be out here to hear what we gotta say.

After a few moments, STANK and OUTBACK JACK their way to the entrance, stopping at the top of the ramp.

DHM: Now, one side, we got GMTheRick. Now I'm kinda partial. Rick was the one that gave me my shot in this company. He's the one that put me in th' ring with Spin. Hell, you could almost say that without TheRick, there may not have been a Midnight Sons. Then again, on the other hand...

SH: On the other hand, GmThePrick is an ASSHOLE! We bust our asses out here night in and night out! We live and die in this ring, and all that greasy bastard gives a damn about is how much money he can make off of the broken bodies! When Moosehead Jack ran Takaken Gryfon outta the company, all that stupid son of a bitch cared about was losing T-Shirt sales! He doesn't respect a single damned one us out here!

DHM: Now y'see, I really can't argue that. So that's one side. An' on th' other side, we got LJ Bennett...

SH: A guy that says he's gonna give us money. A guy that says he's gonna us title shots. A guy that says he's gonna give us the respect we deserve around here. A guy that...

DHM: A guy that's been tellin' everyone else an' their cousin that he's gonna do the same for them. Y'see, a lotta guys been havin' meetings with him, and he's been sittin' there, actin' like he's the second comin' and that he's gonna make make everything alright by givin' everyone everything they want. But me an' Spin, we don't get things given to us. We EARN them. We EARN our title shots! We EARN our paychecks! We EARN our respect around here. What people like Bennett don't never get through their heads is that when people just hand you somethin' it ain't worth a damn!

SH: I'll be damned if I can argue with that. So for a while, we thought the Stank and Jack had the right idea. Just stay out of it. Don't pick a side. Act like it ain't nothing that concerns us, act like there ain't a war coming, act like their aren't armys forming around us...

DHM: But we couldn't do that either. Stank, Jack - we're involved in this. All of us are. Now y'need to know that we're Drink And Destroy through and through...

SH: Damned straight.

DHM: But we HAD to pick a side to be on. So we did.

The Midnight Sons look at each other briefly then slide out the ring, hopping the guardrail and into the crowd.

DHM: THIS is our Army!

SH: Keep us outta your pissing contest, boys.

The Sons make their way through the crowd, slapping high fives with the fans as they make their way to the back.

THE NERVE AGENT vs. BLITZ – Steel Cage Match

Blitz walks through the curtain and down the ramp. He doesn't get any real reaction from the crowd, seeing as how they don't know if he's a face or a heel. Lack of promos will do wonders for one's downfall. Blitz slides into the ring. Since no one is controlling him and he is basically doing a default entrance, he doesn't realize, or stop for, the steel cage being lowered to the ring. Blitz is halfway in, halfway out of the ring when the steel cage is lowered onto his back, crushing his mid-section. It looks painful as shit, but Blitz has no voice or opinion, so he doesn't show any physical or verbal emotion. Blood begins dripping from Blitz's mouth as the steel cage pushes harder and harder against his ribs and internal organs. Still, he gives no response to what looks like a great amount of pain. Blitz's music cuts. The Nerve Agent runs out onto the stage to his own music, which is better and less jobber-like than Blitz's music was. Nerve walks down the ramp. The crowd boos him as he gets closer to the ring. He stops when he notices Blitz, trapped between the cage and the ring apron. Nerve looks at Blitz's face and sees no tension or strain. Nerve gets a confused look on his face, then slaps Blitz on the head. Blitz doesn't move. A referee on the outside of the ring, placed there to determine the first wrestler to exit the ring, calls for some help from the medical staff. They walk down the ramp and form a semi-circle around Blitz. They check his eyesight. Apparently, he's gone blind. They check his hearing. He is also deaf, I guess. They check his reflexes. He has none. One crew member checks Blitz's pulse. Apparently, Blitz is dead. The medical guys are all very confused. Blitz shows no sign of life. But he was just WALKING~! down to the ring moments earlier. Nerve tells the medical guys to come back after the match to check on Blitz. The medical guys are only medical guys because they have no education. So they're stupid and walk backstage, leaving Blitz open for attack by Nerve. Nerve kicks Blitz in the head a few times before grabbing chairs from under the ring and tossing them over the cage walls, into the ring. He grabs some tables from under the ring and tosses them into the ring, too. He has somehow turned into a table throwing machine, tossing heavy wooden and metal tables several feet into the air and landing them in the ring. He steps on Blitz's face and climbs up the side of the cage. He gets to the top and drops down into the ring. He grabs a steel chair and SLAMS it across Blitz's legs. One of Blitz's legs is noticeably broken, as the bone is sticking through his left wrestling boot and his leg is twisted up like Sid Vicious after a second rope boot. Nerve drops the chair and grabs Blitz by the broken leg. He pulls him out from under the cage, slicing the skin on the chest of Blitz open, causing a steady stream of blood to ooze out of each individual gash. Nerve pulls harder and Blitz's head enters the ring. His jaw has been pushed to the left by about 2 inches, but he shows no sign of pain or life. Nerve grabs Blitz and pulls him to his feet. Blitz falls over, not being able to support his weight with his one good leg. Nerve gets angry that Blitz won't stand up, so he kicks him in the jaw a few times. We see a few teeth shoot out of Blitz's mouth. Blood squirts from his mouth as Nerve pulls him to his foot. He whips him into the cage. Blitz hits the cage and gets all tangled up in the ropes. Nerve punches him in the face a few times, then gives him a few body shots. He grabs a steel chair and WHAM! The chair wraps around Blitz's head. Nerve doesn't bother to remove the chair necklace of Blitz. Instead, he grabs the chair and uses it to send Blitz into a corner. Nerve runs at him and hits him with a dropkick, sending the chair smashing into Blitz's mouth, knocking out some more teeth. Blitz's mouth looks like a magazine picture of an outstretched vagina with a single shot of cum on one of the lips. Nerve grabs Blitz and sends him to the mat with a DDT. Blitz would have no-sold the move if Nerve hadn't done it legit. Nerve climbs to the top rope, then jumps off with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! He aims a little far and his right knee ends up smashing Blitz right in the face, shifting his nose down and to the right. But it's barely noticeable from at least 2 miles distance, with thick cloud covering. Nerve gets up and pulls Blitz back to his feet. He sends him into the corner again, where he gets tangled up in the ropes for a second time. No one has any clue how this manages to happen to a dead guy with a broken leg, crushed chest, and pulverized face. It just happens. Nerve grabs a table and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He tosses a few chairs onto the table, just for the hell of it. He runs over to Blitz and struggles to untangle him from the ropes. He yells at Blitz for letting this happen, then has to punch Blitz in the face and knock the single remaining tooth out of his mouth to use it as a knife to cut the ropes and untangle Blitz. It's Blitz's own fault. Nerve gets Blitz untangled and pushes him up to the top of the cage. Blitz wobbles and nearly falls to his death. Wait. He's dead already. Or something. He was, I think. But he made his entrance. You know what? I don't even know. He didn't fall off the cage. There. Nerve climbs up to level himself with Blitz. He grabs Blitz and hits him with a SOLO SPANISH FLY WITH TWO FLIPS! OMG! Everyone is amazed. Nerve had to lift Blitz's dead (literally) weight and managed to pull off two backflips! Nerve is a crazy man! They SMASH through the table and table shards litter the ring. The chairs scatter everywhere. For no reason AT ALL, the audience starts tossing all of their chairs over the cage, into the ring! The chairs are smacking Blitz left and right. Nerve manages to avoid being hit once. Kind of odd. Creepy, even. How is he able to avoid the hundreds of chairs storming the ring. And actually, YES! Every single chair thrown has hit Blitz! What amazing odds! What are the chances of this happening!? Crazy stuff we're seeing here. After all of the chairs have been tossed into the ring, the crowd becomes annoyed that they can't sit down. They start to riot and are completely ignoring the match. Nerve doesn't like this and tries to walk over the Blitz to beat him up some more. But there's 4 feet of steel chair in the ring. Nerve struggles to make his way through the chairs, sounding like a bag of empty soda cans being rolled down a hill. He FINALLY makes his way over to Blitz, who is being held up by the mass of chairs piled around him. Nerve grabs Blitz by the hair and pulls him out of the pile of chairs. It was tough, and it cost Blitz nearly all of his hair, but Nerve managed to pull Blitz to safety. Nerve pushes Blitz up to the top of the cage again. Just to save room, Blitz didn't almost fall this time. Nerve climbs up with him and sees the entire audience still rioting. Nerve grabs Blitz and simply tosses him off the top of the cage, into the audience. Blitz CRASHES into the first few rows of people. It becomes a giant mosh pit and it engulfs the entire arena. Zoomed out, the arena looks like TV static, only colorful. Ok, that was a bad relation. Ignore that. Nerve jumps from the top of the cage, which gets the audience's attention. The moshing comes to an immediate stop as they watch Nerve fly through the air. He goes for it, 630 FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE INTO THE AUDIENCE! OMG! He over-rotates the slightest bit and lands with both feet CRUSHING down on Blitz's stomach. Blitz poops a little. Both Nerve and Blitz are being fully supported by the crowd. Nerve crowd-surfs his way to the guardrail and hops from it to the cage and grabs on. He climbs up the cage and drops down into the ring. He motions at the crowd and they toss Blitz up into the air and he flies over the top of the cage and CRASHES into all of the chairs inside the ring! How the HELL did the audience do that!? We get an instant replay because that spot was so unpredictable and happened so fast. We see the first few rows of the audience combine to form a giant hand, then rise from the floor and fling Blitz into the ring. Damn. We get back to live action. Nerve grabs Blitz and hits a PILEDRIVER ONTO HUNDREDS OF CHAIRS! Blitz looks hurt. Nerve heads to the top rope, then climbs to the top of the cage once again. He leaps off with a FULL TWISTING SHOOTING STAR SENTON! CRASH! BANG! BOOM! HURT! PAIN! BLITZ IS DEAD! Nerve kips up to his feet and climbs the cage again. He swings his leg over, then the other, then climbs down the other side. He drops down and both feet touch the floor. The referee raises his hand into the air. The uneducated medical guys all run out from backstage and climb the side of the cage. They drop down and check to see if Blitz is dead or not. Nah, he's not quite dead, but he DID get knocked the FUCK out! The ring announcer declares Nerve the winner at a total time of 6 seconds. Everyone is confused, but it happened!
WINNER in 00:06 - The Nerve Agent

RYAN HARDCORE vs. FIRECHILD – Steel Cage Death Match

Firechild wins a horrifically bloody and brutal match. As he leaves the cage LOADED attacks him. Weak from the match he can do nothing to defend himself. Eco and MacCappington have him set up for a spike pile driver on the floor when Cole and……Davin Moreland? Come and chase the rest of LOADED off with chairs. Cole eyes Moreland warily as he helps Firechild to his feet.

ERIC O’MAC vs. BUNNY – OOWF Onslaught Championship 15-Minute Beat the Clock Match

Junior Hale is already in the ring as the lights go out. Bunny’s old “Rabbxt” starts on the Jumbotron; but an audible record scratch blasts through the PA. The “Beware of Bunny” sign comes up, and Eminem’s “The Re-Up” fires up with the heavy bass…
“There's Never been this much of a menace
In this game is this and it's the most sinister dude in the business
Once again it's the illest and realest killers
The most villainous Dre’ protégé Shady's apprentice
Drop them sounds and get with these heels
Do you want losers to winners
This music is in us”

As the lyrics hit, Bunny; resplendent in his Pink Bunny suit does a standing front flip to the top of the ramp, and then another onto the ramp. He then puts a black baseball cap on (to the side, gangsta-style of course) and continues to the ring. The crowd doesn’t know whether they’re supposed to cheer or not; but the kids do, ‘cause he’s a BUNNY! He tosses the hat to the crowd; front flips from the floor to the apron, and then front flips from the apron over the ropes into the ring. He does a break-dance spot before stretching on the ropes.

The lights flicker and pyro goes off. A new re-mixed version of “To Be Loved” fires up (it actually doesn’t suck), and Eric O’Mac in the now trademark Oakleys stands at the top of the ramp holding his Onslaught Title high in the air; soaking up the boos of the crowd. He does a Douchebag pose, and meanders his way to the ring. Bunny stays in the opposite corner as Hale raises the belt to the air; signifying a Title match. Both wrestlers manage to stay away from each other, although Bunny is talking some trash, pointing from across the ring, and just before the bell, he does the “Cactus Jack ‘Bang Bang’” thing, but with his fingers tilted to the side, shooting the “guns” gangsta-style. Hale sighs and shrugs his shoulders; and calls for the bell. WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Bunny charges across the ring to lock up, and Eric looks like he’ll oblige, but at the last second, dives out to the floor, pointing to his head; he’s wicked smart. O’Mac uses the entirety of the 10 count before rolling back in. Bunny, annoyed, runs over to grab O’Mac, but Eric powders to the floor again. He points at his head again. O’Mac uses the whole 10 again, before coming in. Bunny is there to meet him this time; but somehow, Eric manages to get to the floor yet again. O’Mac points to his head again, facing the crowd. Well, Bunny has had enough of this happy horseshit, and one-hops (no pun intended) the turnbuckle and hits a BUNNY HOLE to the outside, connecting and laying O’Mac OUT; he never saw it coming. BUNNY HOP! BUNNY HOP! BUNNY HOP! The triple Bunny Hops land to Eric’s head and chest, and it looks like the last one may have busted him open. Bunny picks up the woozy O’Mac, and tosses him into the ring at 8, joining him at 9. He ascends the nearest turnbuckle faces the crowd and tries for a Bunnysault; but Eric, playing some possum, catches the flying pink bunny in the air, catching him upside-down. Bunny squirms, but Eric is just too strong, and hits a Styles Clash on him. Eric looks down, kicks Bunny’s arms to his sides, and tosses his Elbow Pad into the crowd. Razz informs us that the most electrifying move in the OOWF today is now known as the “Bennett Elbow”, much to Russ’ consternation. O’Mac runs the far ropes, then the near ropes, does the hesitation, and Bunny ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Unfortunately for Bunny, Eric saw it coming. He manages to stop his momentum and floats over; locking in a sweet STF, all in one motion. Nice. They are dead in the center of the ring, and Hale slides in to check on Bunny.

Bunny refuses to give, and somehow contorts himself through the pain, and is able to kick O’Mac in the head a few times with his free leg; forcing him to break the hold. Bunny tries to take a second to recover, but Eric’s having none of that; pouncing right on Bunny; and it’s time to take a trip…a trip to Germany! GERMAN SUPLEX! GERMAN SUPLEX! GERMAN SUPLEX! GERMAN SUPLEX! GERMAN RELEASE SUPLEX! Bunny has to be done-ski. Eric, slightly dizzy from the German party, takes a split second to get to Bunny, and we have our first cover: 1, 2, No. Bunny manages to kick out after 5 Germans. Eric, frustrated, signals for the E-Mac Attack, and climbs the turnbuckle. This time, it’s Bunny playing possum, and he does the Shelton Benjamin Memorial ™ One-Hop the Ropes, and HE connects, with a BELLY TO BELLY SUPERPLEX! Eric is laid out, and Bunny tries to recover. Hale starts a 10-count and the timekeeper announce, “5 minutes…5 minutes remaining”.

Bunny is first up at 7 and hits another BUNNY HOP! He hops the turnbuckle, faces the crowd; BUNNY BITE! Holy Shit! (And the crowd responds appropriately) Bunny covers: 1, 2, No. He hops the turnbuckle again, landing a BUNNY BITE! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Somehow, Eric kicked out. Bunny stands up, looks around, and hits a DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT and floats into the Cover: 1, 2, NO! Crowd is big-time behind Bunny now. The timekeeper announces “3 minutes…3 minutes to go”, and Bunny looks around, looks to the outside and looks up…

All of a sudden, with a burst of speed, Bunny charges out of the ring and up Mianus Arena’s stairs, all the way to the top, where he finds a door, opens it, and disappears. Eric is still out on the mat, and Hale; clearly taken aback, as is the crowd (in full murmur) just now decides to count. The timekeeper announces, “2 minutes…2 minutes to go”. All of a sudden, there is a camera shot on the Jumbotron. It’s Bunny, but where the hell is he? It looks like he’s in a hallway. Wait a second…he’s on the CATWALK ABOVE THE RING! What in God’s name is he thinking? The crowd doesn’t know whether to cheer or scream out of fear; and some of the hardcore workrate wankers in the crowd start a “Bu-Nny” chant. Bunny appears to get himself into position, and gets on the catwalk railing, steadying himself; facing back toward the catwalk. He looks up, points up, and visibly takes a deep breath. He JUMPS~! He’s in a full layout, and spinning, hitting 1, 2, 3, 4…5! 5 FULL REVOLUTIONS AND SPLATS ON ERIC! Ladies and Gentlemen, that was an 2070 MOONSAULT from the Catwalk!

Oh. My. God.

That HAD to break ribs and stuff! The impact bounces Bunny all the way across the ring; and the crowd is dead silent. Surely they must both be dead. Eric is bleeding from the mouth, apparently from serious internal injuries. Bunny starts to stir, and finally visibly moves. The crowd is about 58 different kinds of batshit; complete with dueling “Holy Shit!” and “That Was Awesome!” chants. Bunny gets up holding his ribs, and the crowd is deafening. Eric still hasn’t moved, and Hale is unsure as to what to do. He signals to Bunny to cover. Bunny is in REALLY rough shape, and labors to get across the ring, dropping to his knees at one point, about halfway across the ring. He has to crawl the rest of the way. The crowd is still super-hot, as Bunny agonizingly tries to get to Eric. Finally, he’s close enough to flop an arm on top, and Hale counts: 1, 2, DING DING! Bunny collapses on the mat, realizing he hasn’t won; the look on Hale’s face says it all. The crowd is at first unsure as to what happened; and then the trash starts to litter the ring, and a quite loud “Bullshit” chant starts.
YOUR RESULT IN 15:00 – TIME LIMIT DRAW! Eric O’Mac retains the Onslaught Championship

Hale starts to freak out; he makes about 50 “Dreaded X” signals to the back. Both men are obviously in rough shape, but Eric O’Mac finally is able to turn on his side, and spit the blood out of his mouth, and shoots Bunny an icy look. He could have killed him. Eric does the stretcher job, and a couple of other Indy Workers, Paramedics attend to Bunny, who manages to stand with assistance. Crowd loses it in a “Bunny” chant again; and he raises an arm, actually acknowledging the crowd before being helped to the back.

[mooseheadjack]

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

DH and Phantos start thing off. DH snares a headlock and barrels Phantos into the corner. Phantos ducks a left hand and hits a series of chops. DH reverses and Irish whip and catches Phantos with a powerful belly-to-belly suplex. DH traps Phantos in an abdominal stretch and reaches back to make the tag. Hansen bounces off the ropes and kicks Phantos in the face. Spin follows up with a fall-away slam and gets a 2 count. Phantos struggles to get to his corner, and gets cut off by Hansen. Spin hits a pile driver and gets another 2 count. Phantos gets tosses around like a rag doll. Spin tags DH back in and the hits a double suplex and stereo elbow drops. DH sends Phantos into the ropes and sets up for a backdrop. Phantos leapfrogs DH, bounces off the opposite ropes and hits a Flying Burrito! Phantos kips up and dives over to tag in Lucios. Lucios charges in and trades punches with Magnusson. Lucios slams DH to the mat and hits a rolling knee drop. Slingshot Suplex. Gorilla Press Slam. Vertical delay suplex, into a Gordbuster. Lucios tags Phantos and they hit the Whasaaap bomb! Phantos covers and gets 2. DH eats a dropkick, and then a second. DH starts to get to his feet, and Phantos tries to hit the third dropkick, but DH dropped to the mat and Phantos eats canvas. Hansen gets tagged in and decapitates Phantos with a clothesline. Bionic Elbows! Sidewalk slam! Spin sends Phantos into the ropes and hits a backdrop, but Phantos lands on his feet and scurries over to make the tag. Lucios is back in. He decks Spin with a big boot. Lucios scoops Hansen up and slams him down to the mat. He tags in Phantos, who scales the top turnbuckle. Suddenly, voices boom out over the loudspeakers. The Heels are on the ramp, and they have microphones.

JA: Stop this. Stop this insanity! Listen to the crowd; they are bored out of their minds. We are here to SAVE YOU ALL from these so-called champions.
AA: Johnny, that’s not our gimmick.
JA: Ok, YOU DO the talking then.
AA: Hey you, Paper Champions, from what we hear; only two things come out of Texas. Steer and Queers. You know what? I don’t see any horns on those masks.

Lucios charges up the ramp immediately. The Heels see the big man charging up towards them and they high-tail it into the back. Phantos ducks a big boot from a charging Hansen and slides under the ropes and gives chase as well. Spin races out after them, only to be dragged back to the ring by his partner. Barros looks around and begins a slow ten-count.
Winners, via Countout, in 9:12, The Midnight Sons!

F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III vs. THE DEAD – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

It’s time for the Intercontinental Title match this week at Midweek Mayhem at Mianus, CT. Tonight’s challenger is one of the soldiers in Bennett’s Army and here he comes as we hear his music hit. The fans boo Dead’s entrance as the fans here in Connecticut are solidly behind Rick due to his association with local hero, Davin Moreland. The Dead gets into it with a few fans as he gets into the ring and awaits the champion’s entrance. And here it is as Vivaldi’s “Spring” starts to play. The reigning Intercontinental Champion makes his way out from the back. And with him as usual is Lance, but Lance is still showing the effects of last week when Alexis Darling planted him on the outside of the ring. On his way into the ring, MacCappington tosses fake money into the audience like the ass that he is.

MacCappington gets into the ring and without much fanfare the ref calls for the bell and we’re underway in this title match. The two men lock-up but Dead uses his heelish tendencies and pokes FFM right in the eye to take advantage. The ref chides him for this but Dead ignores him and starts laying into FFM with body shots trying to take a different approach to get the champ off his game. It works for a little bit before TD goes to the well once too often and FFM catches it him with a spinning sidewalk slam. MacCappington keeps on the attack hitting a variety of slams and suplexes trying to really take Dead out of this match. He goes so far as to hit the old-school double power-bomb combination that leaves Dead as a pile of good in the center of the ring.

But this is where MacCappington’s arrogance comes into play as he refuses to make the cover and instead taunts the crowd with insults of their poor nature. This gives Dead time to recover and he gets to his feet and with MacCappington’s back to him he unleashes a devastating dropkick that knocks Fonz over the top rope and to the floor. And The Dead is not one to give MacCappington any time to recover. He follows him to the outside and whips him right into the steps. Our ref, Davis Hightower, is out there trying to regain order but Dead doesn’t listen as FFM goes crashing into the guardrail. Dead pushes Hightower out of the way and he looks close to calling for the bell but barely stops himself as he sees FFM catch Dead running in with a stiff elbow.

FFM feels like it’s time to get back in the ring and hopefully he can keep his title by count-out. But it’s not to be as Dead gets back in the ring by the count of six and he gets caught by a boot by Mac. Rookie mistake there by The Dead against a veteran like Fonzie. MacCappington stays on the offensive again, but it doesn’t last long as TD takes a page out of Firewoman’s play book from last week and hits a chop to the back of FFM’s knee. The Dead seems to change his strategy mid-match know and starts to work over the leg with kicks and wear-down maneuvers like the Muta Lock. Nothing enough to put FFM away yet, but you can definitely tell that Mac’s knees are being worn down by the consistent attack on them. Each time he tries to get back to a vertical base, TD hits another shot and drops him back to the mat.

Dead goes for a cover, but gets a two-count before FFM kicks out with authority. TD wants none of that and tries an Irish Whip but FFM buckles and falls to the mat in pain. Dead goes in to take advantage but Hightower holds him back while he checks on MacCappington. He’s checking to see if FFM wants to quit, but he says no and just as Davis turns back to re-start the match FFM goes to punch Hightower in the back of the head for the intentional DQ, but Dead saw what happened last week and jumps in the way of the punch.

FFM shrugs and realizes he has the advantage now so he shakes his leg a little bit to try and get some feeling back in it. He throws some hard rights and lefts that The Dead has a hard time blocking. He’s staggered back to the corner and FFM takes a running start and kills him with a splash in the corner. But MacCappington isn’t done as he goes for another charge, but The Dead somehow has it in him to roll under the bottom rope and avoid the charge. FFM’s knee crashes right into the middle turnbuckle and he collapses in a heap. This is the opening The Dead has been waiting for all night. He recovers enough and gets back in the ring and really starts working over the knee of FFM and MacCappington is in serious pain. This may be all for the current Intercontinental Champion and we may be seeing a title change here in Mianus. Dead goes for the cover…MacCappington’s legs don’t have the strength to kick out…
1…
2…
And god damn it, Lance has pulled Hightower out of the ring. That’s now two weeks in a row where we should have had a new IC Champ and Lance is there to save MacCappington. The Dead is furious and reaches to the outside to drag Davis back into the ring and make the count again. Dead covers…
1…
2…
FFM barely rolls a shoulder and The Dead is fuming mad now thinking he should be champ. He picks FFM up and whips him into the corner and argues a bit with Hightower to stay focused on the match and make sure he’s there for the next count…but there won’t be another count because as soon as The Dead rushes the corner FFM clocks TD right between the eyes with the Intercontinental Title. Lance must have slipped him the belt while The Dead and Hightower were arguing. And now Davis has no choice but to call for the bell.

The Dead is laid out in the center of the ring while F. Fonzworth MacCappington is helped to the back by Lance. Someone, sometime soon is going to have to find out a way to stop MacCappington from retaining his title though these means. But it’s not going to be tonight as he is still the OOWF Intercontinental Champion. He is not the winner though…

Your winner, as a result of a Disqualification…The Dead.

STANK vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

Williams runs his mouth at the bell and a brawl breaks out, Stank getting the upper hand. Stank pounds Williams all over the ring, and an uppercut sends LDW over the top and out to the floor. Stank follows out, but Williams dropkicks the knee on the floor, then chop blocks him. Williams stomps the leg, then drags him to the guardrail, but before Williams can slam the rail on the knee, Stank kicks him away. Williams charges back, but Stank BACKDROPS HIM ON THE FLOOR! Stank rolls in as Williams gains feeling back to his body. LDW crawls up on the apron, and Stank immediately suplexes him back in. Stank drops an elbow, then drags Williams up with a headlock, only to take him back down with a takeover. Stank back up and backs Williams into a corner. Ref wants a break, and Williams goes to the eyes. LDW comes out of the corner, but Stank whips him hard to the opposite corner, but a charge eats turnbuckle, and Williams clips the knee again. Williams works the leg all to hell, until Stank cradles him for two. STank gets to his feet, but Williams takes him over with a nice dragon screw, into an inverted sharpshooter, but Stank is in the ropes. Williams grabs the leg and rolls out to the floor and slams it on the apron a few times. To the post now, but Stank uses his strength to pull Williams into the post! Stank up and tries to walk it off, but LDW grabs the leg from the floor and drags him out. Knee first to the rail and then to the stairs, and Williams rolls him in. One, two, but Stank kicks out. FIGURE FOUR~! But Stank reverses to his own, and Williams breaks the hold. Williams with a soccer kick to the knee, and right into the STF~! Stank uses his size to make the ropes again. Williams is frustrated now, and simply knocks Stank out and to the floor. Williams and the referee have words and Donovan Viper sneaks out f the crowd! Viper grabs the title belt and creeps around ringside, lining Stank up for a cheap shot. Viper charges in, but Stank sidesteps him and sends him to the post! Williams tries to reach over the ropes, but Stank snaps his throat off the top rope. Back in, and Stank walks off the leg some more. Shoulderblock, atomic drop, then a huge clothesline. Williams up and kicks the knee again... DDT~! But Stank blocks and segues directly into the STANK-U~! Stank levels him! But he tweaks the knee on landing, and falls out to the floor in pain. Referee Sterling Glaw starts a count... 1, 2, 3, 4.... Williams is out, and Stank is trying to get to his feet. 5...6...7... and Williams begins to stir. 8... Stank pulls himself by the apron. 9... Williams yells at the referee... and Viper DRILLS Stank from behind with the belt! Glaw turns around... TEN~!
WINNER by COUNTOUT in 19:22: L.D. WILLIAMS

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