OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 06-11-08

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live From Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Alexander Darling

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Gaelic Storm vs. The Midnight Sons

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Firewoman vs. The Dead

Outback Jack, Davin Moreland & Stank vs. Eric O'Mac, LD Williams & Moosehead Jack
Phantos & Lucios vs. IHOP
Attitude Adjuster vs. Justin Sane
Poe vs. Carl From Fresno
Tytan vs. Knife
Blitz vs. Amnesiac
Worlds Greatest Fag Team vs. The Nerve Agent & Voltage
Chris Cole vs . Bunny
Concrete TG vs. Tyson Kincaid

card subject to altered states

[mooseheadjack]

<After the card we see Tytan sitting on the training table with Dr. Podvod, when Steel and Moosehead Jack walk into the room>

S: Dr. Podvod, Tytan, Mr. errrr

MHJ: Moose

S: Moose is here as a representative of LJ Bennett, he has a proposal for you to consider

MHJ: I'll make it simple. We are impressed with your aggression in the ring, you and Blitz took the tag champs to the limit tonight. We would like to offer you a position as an associate with Bennett and his men

Dr. Podvod: Well there are numerous things to consid.....

Tytan: We'll take it

Dr.: But shouldn't we.....

T: No. I am tired of waiting. I want to destroy something and someone

MHJ: Thats what I like to hear. Now. The first order of business. I am not sure how familiar you are with OOWF history, but there is a group of wrestlers that have been rumored to be reforming here in the OOWF. We feel that it is in everyone's best interest if that doesn't happen. Your task is to eliminate the members before they can unify.

T: You mean, break them?

MHJ: I mean, leave their battered carcasses drained of blood in the center of the ring.

T: I can do that

<Moose hands Tytan a folder, he opens it and we see Amnesiac's picture>

MHJ: I think he should be first. Not this week, take some time, do whatever it is you do, and in two weeks we will get you a match with him. Fair enough

<Tytan just nots and leans back on the table with a content grin on his face>

[mooseheadjack]

::Ryan Hardcore and Lauren Phoenix backstage after the match, when approached by SFJ #487::

SFJ 487: Ryan! Ryan! How do you explain your actions tonight against your part--ahhh!

*Hardcore grabs the mic out of her hand, pushes her aside and stares into the camera*

RH: No offense sweetheart, I just have a quick message for Darling:

Booyah..... bitch.

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ #488 is getting a cup of coffee. Selena approaches her from behind and taps her on the shoulder

SFJ: Oh, Selena, could I have a word with you regarding the vid…

Selena grabs the microphone from her and pushes her away with a sarcastic ‘bye-bye’ wave with just her fingers. Selena then looks into the camera and holds the microphone up to speak.

SG: After hearing about his upcoming match with Carl from Fresno in Kuala Lumpur, my master is not happy. You see, Carl you are below him and not worth his time, so my master has sent me to deliver a message for you, Carl and he hopes the powers that be here in the OOWF are listening.

Selena instructs the cameraman to zoom in closer and looks evilly into the camera.

SG: Carl, you’ve made two huge mistakes. One is even coming to the OOWF to be put in the path of my master. Number two is aligning yourself with Alexander Darling. You’re being thrown to the wolf and trust me, he will devour you. Poe is a former World Champion and you are nothing more than a jobber to the stars at best that deserves to be put down like the grungy mutt you are.

Selena then grins, as if a brilliant thought came to mind.

SG: Carl from Fresno…Poe from Kyoto and Selena from Salinas will destroy you. HA!

Selena then smiles and shrugs her shoulders, rocking back and forth like she’s so proud of herself.

Bunny then hops up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder, getting her attention.

B: Ayo Selena, baby go boom boom?

Bunny laughs and the hops away.

Selena: What…the…hell….

[mooseheadjack]

(The Amnesiac is walking by a monitor in the Hallway of Random Encounters(tm), when he sees a picture of himself up on the screen. It appears that a dossier folder with his picture on it has been handed to Tytan. He watches carefully. After the promo, next week's card flashes up on the screen. The Amnesiac shakes his head and sighs a bit. Immediately as he turns to walk away, Dumb Blonde Interviewer #2 walks up and jams a microphone in his face.)

DBI#2: So, Amnesiac. How-

Amn: That's THE Amnesiac. I didn't go through 2 years in a coma to come out and just be another guy who forgot some stuff.

DBI#2: Fine, The Amnesiac. How do you respond to the seemingly immense bounty you've had placed on your head by Moosehead Jack?

Amn: Well, it just goes to show that he fears me. He fears my ability and he fears what I could potentially do to him inside that ring. However, what he doesn't realize is that, although there's a ban on touching either GM: The Rick or LJB, there is NOT a ban on touching him. Tytan isn't getting paid enough to bodyguard him day and night... so just remember Moosey. You have to sleep sometime.

DBI#2: This doesn't sound like you, Amn- uh, THE Amnesiac.

Amn: Well, after my loss tonight, I feel a little different. A little out of sorts. I mean, I haven't exactly been clawing my way to the top lately, now have I?

DBI#2: No... in fact, Moose didn't even make sure your match was written on time tonight. All you got was a placeholder.

Amn: Wha-?

DBI#2: Nevermind. Any words about your opponent next week, Blitz?

Amn: Well, Firewoman and I teamed up against Blitz and The Dead a few weeks ago, so I know how he operates in the ring now. But it still remains to be seen what will happen between now and then. Like I said, I'm feeling a little strange. I think Blitz might want to tread a little lightly this week.

DBI#2: Some very ominous words from our masked crusader. Finally, give me some of your thoughts about the war going on here for the control of the OOWF.

Amn: The war is just beginning. It may have been raging on for months, but it's just been bubbling under the surface. That's primarily because I haven't been fully involved. But after tonight, I'm making sure that I'm getting involved.

DBI#2: Involved on the side of GM: The Rick, right?

(The Amnesiac just raises an eyebrow at DBI#2 and walks away.)

DBI#2: There you have it. Stupid question answered. Back to you in the studio, Chuck.

(Kayfabe peeks her head around the corner with a puzzled look on her face. She mouths the words "Who the fuck is Chuck?" and then fades back into the shadows as the camera fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

*Selena is trying to squeeze in a couple more soundbytes to SFJ #488. SFJ #488 doesn't seem all that interested anymore, and is waiting for her Dunkin' Donuts Coffee from Curt "The Golden God" Schilling at the Dunkin' Donuts Hospitality Tent. Down the hallway, Bunny has run into a couple people.*

B: Ayo, Davin.

DM: Ayo, Bunny.

B: Ayo, Carl

CFF: Ayo, Bunny.

DM: What's good?

B: Ayo, check this out yo. Selena...

CFF: The dead Spanish Singer?

B: No, no..

DM: The tennis player?

CFF: That's Serena.

DM: Oh yeah, right.

B: No no...Poe's bitch, yo.

DM: What about her?

B: Yo, check this out...she be talkin shit about Carl yo...callin' him a jobber to the stars and shit...

CFF: To the stars? Damn, a promotion!

DM: Aw HELL no, Carl. This Poe fool isn't gonna talk about my partner like that.

B: Fo' real doh...You can't be lettin dat Poe bitch punk you out like dat.

CFF: Maybe we should have a chat with Serena?

DM: Selena.

CFF: Yeah. Her. Plus, I'm hungry.

DM: Shocking. Later on Rabbxt.

B: Ayo, it be Bunny, man. You know dat.

DM: That's right too. Later on, Bunny.

*They all do the handshake-one-armed-hug thing and Bunny hops away. Davin and Carl approach the Dunkin' Donuts Hospitality Tent*

DM: Hey Carl...isn't that Sabrina?

CFF: Nah, that's that show Alexander likes...Santina?

DM: No, that's Santin-O. The dude from up North.

S: I am Selena.

CFF: Oh, right...Selena.

DM: Selena...from Salinas. Allow us to introduce ourselves. My friend here is Carl from Fresno, and I'm Davin from Cummaquid. SFJ #488, you busy?

SFJ #488: *sips her coffee while chatting Schilling up* Not really...

DM: Bring your mic there, Shannon?

SFJ #488: My name's not...

DM: Whatever. First off, DH; you're right - it's much easier than actually remembering their names. Secondly, Ms. Selena; I'm afraid I have to take issue with your characterizations of my friend here.

S: My Master doesn't have concern for...

CFF: SILENCE!

DM: Nice. Anyway, Selena; I believe you're incorrect about Carl here making 2 mistakes. In fact, I think your Master is the one who has made the mistakes.

S: Impossible. My Master...

CFF: SILENCE!

DM: Ok, that's totally gimmick infringement now. Anyway, Selena; the first mistake your bird-loving Master made was coming to the OOWF due to some silly grudge he had with our business partner. You see, Carl was here long before bird-brain showed up; so it was HE who has intruded on our property, not the other way around.

S: My Mast..

CFF: SIL-

DM: Alright Carl. Enough with that. Secondly, aligning ourselves with the DEA was a smart business decision and allowed us to become stronger in this war against that treasonist Bennett. In that one singular move, Alexander, Alexis and Firewoman have shown more courage and strength of character than most people on this roster. That includes you. Former World Champion you say? Sorry, those Championships from Japan are worth as much as Muerte's 200 belts from Mexico or Mark Vander's 22,698 belts from across the Universe. Essentially, they mean nothing. In fact, nothing you've accomplished means anything. Fact of the matter is, you've pretty much done next to nothing since joining the OOWF, save for a tag match where Moosehead Jack, a man I truly respect, carried you to a close victory. In fact, just last Mayhem, you lost to the Greatest Tag Team of All-Time, the measuring stick; and myself. And you have the audacity to sent your surrogate, or servant, or cult member, or whatever the hell she's suppose to be; out here to say YOU are somehow ABOVE Carl From Fresno?

CFF: You see, Poe; I may not have the pull in the front office as some others do. I may not have the reputation that some others in this fed do, but I'll tell you this. I have certainly accomplished much more here than you have. I've taken main eventers to the limit, and I won the Prestigious Jobber Tournament, where I had to fight through twenty people to earn a contract. I've spent many years of my life homeless and living on the street, so there is nothing, NOTHING you could do or say to me that could even phase me. I won't be scared, and I damn sure won't quit.

DM: So Poe, next time you want to talk shit to someone? Do your history and realize who you're talking about. Or at least, inform your brainless bubblehead here a little better. You have a personal grudge with The Darlings? I can respect that. Some things go beyond wrestling. BUT you need to realize that while you think that gives you carte blanche here in the OOWF, the reality is, if you're not careful; you're liable to get your ass kicked by anyone, never mind someone as accomplished and skilled as Carl. And this whole time, we haven't even mentioned the clincher here, Poe. Mr. Carl From Fresno here is a current reigning Champion, as he can defend the Three-Man Championships as surely as Phantos, Lucios or myself can. In fact, for your match, he'll be introduced second, as a Champion, which is something Poe, you. are. not.

CFF: Watch your step, Poe.

DM: And tread lightly, because Poe, you're not quite sure of who you're fucking with yet, are you? Recognize your place Poe; you're going UP card to wrestle Carl, not down. You should be honored to get in the ring with him. You should be honored to be in the ring with ANY of us in Run DEA. You, Poe of Kyoto, should know and understand "honor". It's clearly apparent you could possibly be lacking in that regard.

DM: That could be a shortcoming you'll come to regret, Poe. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

CFF: And Serafina? Bounce the fuck up out of here.

S: My Master will here about this.

DM: Good, because it took a long time to type this.

K: Do you really need to do this in EVERY Promo Davin? It really hurts you know. *sniff*

*Scalabrina leaves*

C'TGG'S: God she's obnoxious.

DM: Get used to it, Curt. It's a very different place now than it was when you first got here.

C'TGG'S: Don't I know it.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Backstage after the show we find Gaelic Storm in their dressing room – Seamus is pissed off and destroying things…

Connor: “Bro’ what’s up you won the match?”

Seamus: “AHHHHHHHH”

Rory: “Dude, calm down.”

Damon: “Have a beer”

Seamus: “I don’t want a beer. I fucking hate what happened tonight!”

Damon: ?

Rory: ??

Connor:?

Seamus: “Pavel looks like fucking Frankenstein, I hate Zetterfuckingberg, Osgood is a fucking cross-eyed midget….

Rory: “Don’t insult midgets!”

Seamus: “Rafalski is twit…I fucking hate the REDWINGS!

Connor: “What about Darren McCarty, he’s cool”

Seamus: “I fucking HATE the REDWINGS…ahhhhh”

Liam: “Go Celtics!”

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade into the palatial IHOP lockerroom in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Skurge, SYB, and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are deep in conversation…

SYB: But what I don’t get is why this place is named after two animals that don’t even live here.
Skurge: What the hell are you talking aboot?
SYB: Well, as everyone knows, koalas only live in Australia, and lemurs only live in Madagascar. So why is this city named Koala Lemur? Is there a zoo here that has lots of them or something?
DM: Aaaaaanyway, have either of you seen Muerte since OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! from Jakarta, Indonesia?
Skurge: Nope. I told him he was free to use our lockerroom any time he wants, but I’m not sure if he’s going to take advantage of the offer, eh?
SYB: You what? Do you know what it’s going to cost to have another person in here using…uh…our electricity and...stuff? What if he leaves a light on and walks away? Huh? What then? I’ll tell you what: wasted money, my friend. Wasted money.
Skurge: Hey, I was just trying to be courteous. Dude helped us oot when we needed him. I had malaria for fuck’s sake, and he totally stepped up. Also, we want to stay on good terms with the guy. The tournament may be over, but we might want to go for the Champions des Trios belts one day.
SYB: You mean the Campeonas de Trios belts?
Skurge: You know I don’t speak Spanish. I do, however, dabble in French.
DM: Guys, let’s try to focus a bit here. Speaking of the Campeonas de Trios belts, we’ve got 66.6% of the Campeonas de Trios champions this week.
SYB: Why they’re not defending their belts this week, potentially against RIHOP, is beyond me.
Skurge: RIHOP?
SYB: Oh yeah, it’s something I was playing around with – we represent the U.S., Canada, and Mexico as a three-man unit, so we’re, like the Reeeally International House of Punishment now.
DM (stifling laughter): Um, yeah. Let’s not go with that, okay? How about...the North American Fighting Three Amigos?
Skurge: Huh. NAFTA. I like it, my little buttercup.
SYB: She has the sweetest smile…
DM: Alright, jackass – remember how we were going to focus on this week? Let’s ignore NAFTA for now (lord knows we won’t be the only ones) and concentrate on Phantos and Lucios. If we win this week, there’s a chance we’ll get a shot at the OOWF World Tag Team Titles.
Skurge: Winning doesn’t seem to be the way to get title shots. I mean, look at the current champs. Their team name escapes me because they’re so new, and I have no idea who either member of the team is.
SYB: Yeah. They weren’t even here for the tag tournament we nearly won, and they didn’t beat the champs right after that. They just sort of showed up and got a shot at the belts. What’s up with that?
DM: I don’t know guys. I’ll talk to Bennett and see if there is any rhyme or reason to the tag division around here. In the meantime, you guys should hit the gym. We’ll go over tape later.

*Skurge and SYB head into the palatial IHOP lockerroom’s weight room while the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth heads out the door and down the hall toward LJ Bennett’s office…

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ#383: Blitz, this past week you and Tytan lost your OOWF Tag Team Title match. Any thoughts?

B: Yes. It would have really helped if we knew who we were wrestling against. It’s hard facing 2 guys if you have no idea who they are.

SFJ383: They’re Seamus McNasty and Damon Wrath, known as Gaelic Storm.

B: But I read the promos, and I’ve never heard of either of them. I mean, Damon hasn’t cut a promo in months. I don’t think he’s even a registered member at Pun’s House. And Seamus’ promos are in IRISH. Doesn’t he know I don’t fucking speak Irish? Speaking a foreign language is clearly an unfair advantage.

SFJ383: Damon Wrath is a member. His one and only promo was on March 19.

B: Excellent, so he’ll be kicked out of the OOWF in 2 weeks, and we can get new champs.

SFJ383: Where the fuck is Kayfabe?

B: I’m writing this promo, and I’m deciding that Kayfabe may play no part in it.

SFJ383: That’s just wrong. And it’s very hypocritical of you to complain about guys not cutting promos.

B: Hey, I’m a heel. It’s what I do. I don’t allow Kayfabe into my promos, I’m a fucking hypocrite, and I rape babies.

SFJ383: What?

B: I mean I’m a jackass.

*Blitz goes off screen for a moment, and brings back a cardboard cut-out of Damon Wrath.*

B: If Damon is truly alive, he’ll hear me.

*Blitz smashes the cut-out into various metal objects. He then proceeds to start shooting it, shouting “Hello, Damon! Can you hear me!?”*

SFJ383: That’s not the real Damon, you idiot. And why are cutting a promo on someone you’re not feuding with?

B: I’m a heel okay, so I’m allowed to take up air-time with pointless segments.

*Blitz turn around, straight into Gaelic Storm, who are standing side by side, smirking.*

B: Dudes, we’re totally cool, right?

*Seamus McNasty gives Blitz the Irish Car Bomb on the concrete floor. Gaelic Storm laugh and walk away.*

SFJ383: Why didn’t Damon attack you?

B: *Lies on floor*

…

*Blitz finally gets to his feet.

B: I won’t allow someone who doesn’t promo to attack me. And this is my promo, Shannon.

SFJ383: That’s gimmick infringement.

B: Okay fine. I’m sorry. No, don’t cry. Please? I really didn’t mean it.

SFJ383: What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not crying.

B: Of course not. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lady-friend in my room. And I need to hurry, as she charges by the hour.

*Blitz tries to leave, but he walks right into a Canadian Destroyer from Kayfabe.*

*SFJ#383 sighs, and waits for Blitz to get up so that he can deliver the punch line to the promo. Blitz gets up.*

B: Okay SFJ, ask me a question so that I can deliver the punch line.

SFJ383: Blitz, you just got a Canadian Destroyer. It must have been painful.

B: It’s all good, because I could see up Kayfabe’s skirt.

SFJ383: That punch line sucked.

[mooseheadjack]

(The Amnesiac can be seen to be watching Blitz's promo from nearby. He's wearing a t-shirt which asks "You Talkin' To Me?", when he's suddenly approached by SFJ384, who could almost be the twin sister of SFJ383.)

SFJ384: Amnesiac, can I ask you about Blitz's current promo?

Amn: Only if you call me 'The Amnesiac'. Jeez, what is it with you ditzes?

SFJ384: Sorry, The Amnesiac. What's your current impression of Blitz right now?

(The Amnesiac continues to watch the promo AS it's happening. He watches Gaelic Storm walk by him, then witnesses what happens next.)

Amn: What do I think?

SFJ384: Yes.

Amn: That dude is batshit insane.

(Sid Vicious peeks around the corner.)

SV: Is someone talking about me?

Amn: No, man... go back to breakin legs, or whatever it is you're doing these days.

SV: Hey man... you got a dollar?

(The Amnesiac just ignores him and watches the end of the Blitz promo. Sid leaves.)

SFJ384: So, any new insight on your match next week with Blitz?

Amn: Well, I'm guessing I'm gonna need to be a little insane myself next week. Looks like I may have to pay a visit to Arkham.

(The Amnesiac just turns and walks away, leaving SFJ384 looking confused.)

SFJ384: That's it here. It looks like The Amnesiac is on his way to Arkham, whatever that is. Back to you, Chuck.

(You can audibly hear the cameraman sigh before he fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

Viper is in the back when Alexander Darling walks up to him.

AD: Champ...

DV: Dammit...

AD: Oh, you're already showing concern? If I were you, I'd be worried too

DV: Oh no, it has nothing to do with you...

AD: I suppose I should feel insulted.

DV: No, don't take it the wrong way, I'm just flustered, that's all.

AD: And why is that?

DV: Well, my former tag team partner, Capellan, is no longer in the OOWF. You, know, it kinda sucks, because I'm going to miss the guy. I had plans for him.

AD: Do tell.

DV: Well, after us breaking up, I was hoping we'd have a killer feud over a title. The World Title, preferably, since he certainly deserved a spot at the top... but even for the Intercontinental title. You know, we would have had an explosive feud, really. Well, he was never great at promos, but still, we would've torn the house down with our backstory and our in-ring action.

AD: Is that so?

DV: Yeah. Now I'm left with no one to feud.

AD: Is that right?

DV: Yeah. I'd love to feud with Stank again, but he's busy. There's some of those new guys, but it's in my gimmick that I don't pay attention to them nor give them respect, so it might make it difficult to start a feud with them. And Attitude Adjuster and I would make a great feud, you know? But now that AA is on our side, it doesn't look like it's happening any time soon...

AD: There is this war going on...

DV: Yeah, but I'm more of a foot soldier in this story then a leader. And I'm kind of more like LD Williams. I've picked my side, but the war isn't as important to me as the belt.

AD: True... well there's always one other person you could feud with.

DV: Who?

AD: Alexander Darling.

DV: Him? Shit, what's he done? I've beat him countless times.

AD: Right...

DV: And you and Ryan just kicked the shit out of him the other day, man that was lovely... I mean, Fonz, I hope you got a good look on his face when you busted him with the Greetings from...

AD: Ahem...

DV: Oh wait, you're not Fonz...

Darling SMACKS Viper across the head with a steel chair and starts whamming away at Viper's prone body. Darling picks up the Intercontinental belt and looks at it intensly, then throws it down at Viper's bloody head on the floor.

AD: Be careful what you ask for, bitch!

[mooseheadjack]

...and now a word from our sponser....

Voiceover: Tonight's OOWF promo is brought to you by Ultimo Inc.....when you need to bust some heads use Ultimo Inc. Skullcrusher 3000. The strongest and best aerodynamic chair in the business.

Watch the demonstration:

(As the voiceover goes on we see Tytan standing outside the lockeroom with a Skullcrusher in his hand. Waiting just then Amenesiac walks out and he smacks him with the chair.)

Voiceover: Look at how swiftly the chair moves. It's better then those other chairs you use in your matches.

(As he is laying there Tytan smacks him one more time.)

Voiceover: Look even with the power of that first shot you can still get another shot in and the chair looks good.

(Tytan then looks at the chair and smiles and evil grin.)

Voiceover: And it even comes in an array of colors. The Skullcrusher 3000, for the Tytan in all of you.

(Tytan then takes the chair and walks off leaving Amenesiac laying on the floor as the medics arrive.)

[mooseheadjack]

( Dumb blond interviewer approaches the members of Ultimo Inc.)

DBI: What do you have to say about joining up with Team Bennett?

Steel: A wise business move.

Tytan: A chance to have a purpose around here.

Dr. Podvod: A chance for Tytan to kick some ass. Heck maybe if the mood strikes me I might take a shot at that Firewoman, never cared for her anyway.

DBI: But now you go and attack Amnesiac and you have a match coming up with Knife why do that?

Tytan: It's simple Team Bennett brought me in to help them, they gave me a job and now I am going to start taking care of it. As for Knife, I will take him out too. He will just be a warm up match for my first job. Either way whoever I face you will not make it out of the ring.

Steel: You see all Tytan wants to do is show Mr. Bennett that he made a sound investment in Ultimo Inc. and by destroying Knife it will be away to show him that.

Podvod: Tytan will be ready for both of them. I have enhanced his work out program and the supplements in his program that he will be even more ready then the day he made his debut.

Tytan: And as for you Gaelic Storm we showed you that Tytan is for real and you will start to remember the name of the Wrestling Prototype for the 21st Century. You will remember the name Tytan!

(Steel checks out DBI, and then reaches into his jacket pocket.)

Steel: Here you go doll, this may be an improvement when you interview from now on.

(He pulls out an Ultimo Inc. Bikini and hands it to her.)

Steel: 'cause believe me they aren't watching you for your interview skills.

(Ultimo Inc walks off laughing)

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ #314 has just come out of the bathroom when she sees something rarely seen…Poe backstage, walking with Selena.

SFJ: “Omigod, that’s Poe. Poe! Can I have a word??”

Poe stops in his tracks and looks up at the celiing with a short laugh.

Poe: “Okay, little girl. What do you wish to ask me?”

SFJ: “Davin Moreland had some harsh words to say about you in Selena. I just thought maybe you’d like to respond?”

Poe turns his head so he’s facing the camera. All that can be seen of his face behind the bloody towel is his right, tattooed eye.

Poe: “Davin Moreland…you ignorant fool of a man. I warned you to stay out of my business and that means to keep your mouth shut about me or what I do in that ring, backstage, or anywhere else for that matter.”

“Did you not get enough of me in Tokyo? Do you really want to know what I am capable of? You should ask your boy Alexander Darling about that before you open your trap again. If you truly want a piece of me, I’m not hiding little man.”

Poe chuckles again, looks down at SFJ, and then back to the camera.

Poe: “Now, as for this Carl from Fresno fool. I was going to take it easy on him. Maybe I wouldn’t even make him bleed. But now, Davin, you’ve left me no choice. I’m going to make an example to him. You, the OOWF, and especially Carl will understand the meaning of the word respect.

"So, Carl, enjoy your last few days of freedom from pain. Davin…I’ll be seeing you real soon I believe. Until then…Fortunado…Namesdeh.”

Selena grabs the microphone from SFJ.

SG: “Nevermore.”

[mooseheadjack]

**Moosehead Jack and L.D. Williams are watching tape of L.D.’s latest match with Outback Jack.**

”mmmm…m..m..m..m”

LD: “You’re doing it again.”

MHJ: “What?”

LD: “Humming that stupid song.”

MHJ: “I’m not humming anything! Get it together Williams, we’ve got a big macarena this week – we can’t afford any distractions.”

LD: “-”

MHJ: “What?”

LD: “You said we have a big Macarena this week.”

MHJ: “Match! I said Match! We have a big MATCH this week!”

LD: “I’m going to go find Eric.”

**Williams wanders the hall of random encounters, and runs into Justin Sane.**

LD: “Here we go again.”

JS: “Lotus Flower Wilson.”

LD: “…Lotus Flower? Seriously? Even in that fogbank you call a mind that can’t have made any sense.”

JS: “um…Lonestar?”

LD: “Better, but no.”

JS: “Homestar?”

LD: “No”

JS: “Homeboy?”

LD: (sigh) “Read my lips: L.”

JS: “L.”

LD: “D.”

JS: “D.”

LD: “Williams.”

JS: “Wil-liams.”

LD: “Good. Now try the whole thing.”

JS: “Long Dong Wilfong!”

LD: (sigh)“Justin, I hope they give you many title shots. Soon.”

JS: “Thanks!”

**”Williams walks away, head down.**

JS: “Nice guy. Strange though.”

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in*

Eric: What is it Mr. Bennett? I'm really not in the mood.

*We see Eric in LJ Bennett's office. Eric, wearing a dark suit and red tinted shades, appears restless.*

LJB: This will only take a minute. Eric, I wanted to commend you for your effort in the tournament last night at Mayhem.

Eric: The hell are you talking about? My team lost in the first round.

LJB: Maybe, but you took it hard to one of your main rivals, and you didn't back down. You led your team into battle valiently, and while you lost the battle, you lived to fight another day. You proved your worth as champion.

Eric: That means a lot...

LJB: With that being said, it gives me great pleasure to give you this.

*LJ Bennett reaches in a gym bag and pulls out the PHWF World Championship Title Belt. Eric's eyes bugs out in disbelief.*

Eric: Really? Are you serious?

LJB: This title belt represents the fight you have and your loyalty to fighting your fight. This is your title belt. No one can take it away from you.

Eric: It's really mine?

LJB: You've earned it. Cherish the belt, and, in time, you will be rewarded with a shot at the OOWF's top prize.

Eric: Thanks Mr. Bennett.

LJB: Now do me a favor. Take out Davin Moreland, Stank, and Outback Jack next week.

Eric: Consider it done.

*Eric walks outside and runs into Moose and LD Williams.*

Eric: Hey Moose! *clink*

Moose: *clink*

LDW: What the hell is that.....?

*Fade out*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman and Lucky are WALKING~! towards her locker room in the Kuala Lampur arena. They stop by GMtheRick’s office to get the line up for Wednesday.

L: Wow…Dead gets another title shot….

FW: Figures. Bennett’s team is persistent, I’ll give him that.

L: You know they’ll cheat.

FW: Yep. That’s fine.

They continue WALKING~! when they run into Eric O’ Mac, fresh from Bennett’s office, Moosehead Jack, and LD Williams.

FW: Well, this day just gets better and better. What’s that shiny thing you got there, Mac?

EoM: This? Well, I would expect you to have no knowledge of this. This is the PWHF World Championship belt. And Bennett has awarded it to me, for my loyalty.

FW: Huh…a tinfoil belt from a defunct promotion. That’s great Maxie…congrats. Now get out of our way.

EoM: Go ahead and mock. This comes with an OOWF World Title shot, something you’ll not be likely to see, at least if I have my way.

FW: Whatever.

A somewhat tense moment passes before the five figure out a way to go around each other in the hallway without further incident. As they round the corner, they then Randomly Encounter one Tyson Kincaid.

TK: I was wondering when I’d run into you.

FW: And now you can sleep at night and stop wondering.

TK: Still a smart ass, eh?

FW: Still sucking up to the bosses, eh?

TK: Whatever do you mean?

FW: Team Bennett snatched you up pretty quickly. Did they have to promise you anything, or did they just scratch you behind the ears so you think they’re your new best friends now?

TK: That’s funny coming from Teacher’s Pet. At least I didn’t have to sleep with any of them.

Firewoman starts to react, but Lucky puts a hand on her shoulder, and she backs down.

FW: It’s early yet, Tyson. Don’t give up hope.

Firewoman smiles evilly at Tyson and blows him a kiss as she and Lucky walk past towards Run-DEAs area of the arena, leaving Tyson fuming.

[mooseheadjack]

Inside the pub we see Gaelic Storm drinking and playing cards with the Midnight Sons

Rory: “So five card stud, one eyed Jacks wild…”

Liam: “Moosehead?”

Seamus: “Know what I’ve been thinking?”

Connor: “That even with Damon moving his office and taking care of some personal business he still cuts a better promo than Blitz?”

Kayfabe steps into the room and Rory whacks her with a cloths-line

Liam: “That no matter what NBC says comparing Kobie “the rapist” Bryant with Air Jordan is criminal?”

Connor: “That Tyco or whatever his name is sounds a lot like John Cena warrior princess’ old gimmick?”

Rory: “The proto-type”

DH: “The proto-type of what?”

Connor: “Careful now he is the future of professional rassling?”

Spin: “You mean wrestling; Cody is the future of rassling…”

Liam: “Whatever”

Rory: “Moose’s new plaything?”

Connor: “Ohhh, The Dead will be jealous”

Damon: “So that’s how he gets ranked so high”

Seamus: “Hey where you been?”

Damon: “Right here…I guess when we talk on the phone and develop our promos – it’s not enough”

Kayfabe begins to stir; Rory hits her with a great Garvin stomp (not that horseshit Young Randall does)

DH: “So what have you been thinking?”

Seamus: “That’s it’s time for another beer”

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin and D.H. continue playing cards with Gaelic Storm. Spin is wearing black pants and a black T-Shirt that says "Better Dead Than Red")

Connor: Why all black today?

Spin: Fuckin' Red Wings. I hope Joe Louis Arena burns, and if we were anywhere near Detroit, I'd be the one pouring gasoline.

Seamus: I knew I liked you guys for a reason. Let's deal.

D.H. That sounds like a damn fine idea.

(The cards are dealt. The camera focuses on Spin's cards... he's holding three Queens.)

Spin: Y'know what? I'm gonna shake things up. All in.

Rory: Ballsy move, boyo. One I'm not gonna match. I fold.

Liam: You'd better not be arsin' around... and I'm not. All in.

Seamus: Not me. I'm out.

D.H.: An' that's two of us. Fold.

Connor: What do I have to lose? All in.

(Spin shows his three queens. )

Connor: Gah! (He pushes his cards in.)

Liam: Close but not enough. (He shows three kings.)

Spin: Sonofabitch. I'm out. D.H., I'm gonna hit the gym before I start punching holes in walls.

D.H.: I'll see about getting you back your cash. Let's deal, boys.

(Spin heads for the boiler room gym...)

[mooseheadjack]

(Somehow, the ninja cameramen were able to get into the terminal of an airport, because we see The Amnesiac and Monkh getting off a plane, carrying some baggage. There is a sign off in the distance that reads:



Monkh wears a t-shirt which reads 'Solomon Grundy SMASH!', while Amnesiac's t-shirt simply reads 'Kneel Before Zod'. The two men make their way through the terminal security checkpoint entirely too easily. The Amnesiac stops and addresses one of the security guards manning the station.)

Amn: What? You don't have metal detectors... you're not going to search either of us? Nothing?

SG#1: Why should I bother? We have Batman.

Amn: ANNNNND?

SG#1: And, that's it. He takes care of all the crime in this city. Why should I bother?

(The Amnesiac shakes his head and sighs. They walk through the main terminal, seeing old decrepit campaign signs:



After they continue to walk, The Amnesiac spots a limo driver holding up a sigh that says 'Radiohead's 5th Album & Tony Shaloub'. He walks over.)

Amn: This may sound weird, but are you looking for The Amnesiac and Monkh?

LD: Actually... I dunno. I just got called and asked to write this on a card and come over here to the airport to wait for someone. Is that you?

Amn: I'm gonna guess so, yes.

LD: Right this way, then.

(The three men travel out of the terminal and to a limo. From here, we can see the skyline:



The driver takes their bags, places them in the trunk, and then heads back to open the door.)

Amn: So where are we headed first?

LD: I'm supposed to drop you off at Stately Wayne Manor. Alfred was the one who told me to come and pick you up. Apparently, he wants to speak with you before you head to Arkham.

Amn: Sounds good to me. Let's go.

(The driver holds the door open as The Amnesiac and Monkh climb inside. The car drives off:



as the camera fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin and Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling are still chatting at the Dunkin' Donuts Hospitality Tent*

C'TGG'S: So, Davin; are you going to respond to the recent comments made about you?

DM: Ok, first, what comments, secondly, have you switched into plot device mode?

C'TGG'S: Comments made about you by Poe, and yes.

DM: What comments? We've been sitting here debating whether or not you should be retiring and there's not a TV anywhere.

*Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling turns his head and points to the earpiece in his ear. Kayfabe strolls over*

K: Cream, 2 sugars.

DM: Oh, COME ON Kayfabe, that was just closing a logic hole, not breaking...you.

K: Um, I know jackass. I'm just getting a coffee. *she leaves*

C'TGG'S: Weird.

DM: No kidding. So, about those comments?

*Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling produces a Sony Digital Voice Recorder*

DM: Nice.

*Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling presses a button on the device*

Sony Digital Voice Recorder
Poe: “Davin Moreland…you ignorant fool of a man. I warned you to stay out of my business and that means to keep your mouth shut about me or what I do in that ring, backstage, or anywhere else for that matter.”

*Davin starts to laugh uncontrollably*


Sony Digital Voice Recorder
“Did you not get enough of me in Tokyo? Do you really want to know what I am capable of? You should ask your boy Alexander Darling about that before you open your trap again. If you truly want a piece of me, I’m not hiding little man.”


*Davin is still laughing*

C'TGG'S: Davin, do you care to respond?

DM: *tries to stop laughing* Um...*cough* sure, yeah. I'll respond. Are you sure he didn't say "Seize Him" at some point during that?

*He starts laughing again*

C'TGG'S: 'Seize Him' would have totally made sense there. Ok, I'll leave the mic with you. I'm gonna go blog.

*Davin pretty much composes himself and takes the mic*

DM: Poe from Kyoto. It's your ol' pal Davin from Cummaquid here. Let me take the last part first. "Did I get enough of you in Tokyo"? Yeah, sure. Moose carries your ass the entire match, but by all means take credit for it and act like you did something. You beat up on Darling; like I said, that's your gig with him. I try not to get in the middle of personal grudges. BUT, when you make things personal toward me, that's when I might consider getting involved.

DM: Especially when you do dumb shit like "warn me" about "keeping my mouth shut". A) Ha. B) Rookies don't "warn" me to do shit, and C) Jobbers don't tell me to keep my mouth shut. What? You're not a jobber you say? Really? I beg to differ. In fact, I have PROOF!

*Chris Jericho pops into the shot in a "Live: Via Satellite" Box.*

CJLVSB: MONKEYS IN THE TRUCK! Roll the tape.

Monkeys in the Truck
POE, JUSTIN SANE & KNIFE vs. RUN DLP CLASSIC

DM: Quite the powerhouse team you were put on there Poe. Let's keep watching...

Monkeys in the Truck
Poe eventually winds up for a HUGE Slap of Disrespect, but Davin catches his arm, and drives the point of his elbow with the full force of his weight into Poe’s bicep, forcing him to the mat. That’s a good way to blow out a shoulder.

DM: That was easy enough.

Monkeys in the Truck
However, Poe is unable to capitalize, because Davin gets behind him and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER.

DM: Oops.

Monkeys in the Truck
Phantos heads to the top rope, looking for the SUICIDE LEGDROP, but Poe charges across the ring to put a stop to it. He’s greeted by Davin and some right hands, and they powder out.


DM: By the way, you lost the match, and you put up almost no offense. There are at least three other "big" guys better than you, two of which kicked your sorry ass in that match. I mean, really, you talk a good game Poe, and you have Darling convinced for whatever reason with your mind games that would make the Undertaker blush with embarrassment. Until you actually BEAT someone, do yourself a favor, and leave the talking to the grownups.

DM: Taking credit when Moose carries you is weak. I respect Moose; he's a tremendously tough competitor and has won nearly all there is to win in this Fed. You are Poe from Kyoto. I think I know who the talent was in that pairing. I think you do too, which is why you use your "big talk" to cover your deficiencies. Maybe you're not aware of who I am? Perhaps a resume reading is in order? Fine. I've beaten almost every former or current Champion in every division who are currently with the company at least once. I am an 11-time holder of at least a piece of the Iron Person Heavy Metal DDT Belt. I am a 2-time Onslaught Champion. I am the longest EVER reigning Onslaught Champion. I, along with my brothers-in-arms Phantos and Lucios, am the inaugural Campeonas de Trios Champion. And, I've beaten the living shit out of "The Lower Midcard" Chris Cole so many times that they were forced to make me #1 Contender to the OOWF World Championship, and I am still that. (Hi LD!)

DM: YOU are Poe from Kyoto.

DM: One thing you need to learn about me Poe, and ask around, they'll tell you it's true...

DM: I don't feud with jobbers. Win something, then run your mouth.


*Davin leaves the mic on the counter and walks away*

[mooseheadjack]

Bunny is in his dressing room doing…whatever Bunny does, when there’s a knock on the door. Bunny slowly gets to the door and opens it. Selena is standing outside the door, holding what appears to be a big box with a black towel or something covering it.

B: “Ayo Selena, how’s it goin’ cutie?”

SG: “Hi Bunny. After our little encounter, you got me thinking. You’re one of the more tolerable wrestlers around this place to me. This place is a little too testosteronie.”

B: “Thanks…I think.”

SG: “Can I come in? I gotcha a present”

Selena grins widely, holding up the box. Bunny steps aside and lets her in.

B: “I love presents. Thanks Selena!”

SG: “Yes, I guess you would, wouldn’t you?”

Selena comes in and sets the box on a table.

SG: “Now, don’t open it until I’m gone okay?”

B: “Sure thing Selena!”

Selena waves, mouths ‘bye’ and closes the door behind her as she leaves. After she’s gone, Bunny stares at the box. He removes the cover and jumps backwards at what he sees.

We see the carcass of a dead rabbit being pecked at by a raven. The raven squawks at Bunny and flaps its wings.

Bunny screams and dives into the door. He then hurriedly opens the door and hops straight into the waiting clutches of Poe. Poe catches Bunny by the throat with is right hand and squeezes. Poe pushes Bunny against the wall, staring into his eyes with an evil grin.

Poe: “Hello Bunny. Beware Greeks bearing gifts. Now…would you like to see the amontillado?”

Poe squeezes harder and continues to stare at Bunny as his face turns a lovely shade of purple.

Poe: “The amontillado is right in here…”

Poe finally releases the choke hold on Bunny, but then puts him position for a power bomb. Poe lifts Bunny up and holds him there. Poe then throws Bunny through the wall.

Poe smiles and looks into the Bunny shaped hole in the wall and then spits red mist into it. Poe then looks into the camera as Selena jumps up and down in front of the Bunny shaped hole with glee.

Poe: “That was for you Davin. Namesdeh.”

Poe then turns to walk down the hallway.

SG: “Ayo Bunny! Nevermore!”

Selena then skips down the hallway behind Poe.

[mooseheadjack]

(Ultimo Inc. is sitting in Steel's office watching the replay of The Amnesiac and Monkh heading into Gotham City.)

Steel: What in the hell are we watching? This has got to be some type of joke. How did those two morons get invited to the Wayne Manor?

Tytan: You mean to tell me the Bruce Wayne is real?

(Dr. Podvod watches as the two men are actually having this conversation.)

Steel: Man...I wonder what's going to happen when they go to Arkham.

(Dr. Podvod can't take it anymore. She smacks the two of them in the back of their heads.)

Dr. Podvod: Will you two stop it. You sound like a bunch of giddy little school girls. Tytan you have a match against Knife at Mayham, and you were given anothe job to do don't you think you should be getting ready for that.

Tytan: But...but...

Dr.P : Enough you need to focus on the tasks at hand. There is no time for playing around. And as for you Steel, don't encourage him.

Steel: But I collected all of his comics when I was a kid.

Dr.P: I said stop it.

Tytan: Since we are the bad guys can we make this the Legion of Doom.

Dr. P: They have been there and done that already to great success. Besides that would be gimmick infringment.

Steel: She's right and I need to spend my money on better things.

Dr. P: So come on let's go train. I have someone for you to beat on downstairs.

(They get up and all leave, but Dr. P comes back and watches a few more seconds.)

Dr. P: I wonder if they will run into CatWoman.

(Fade to Black)

[mooseheadjack]

Moments later, Firewoman walks by and sees a hole in the wall that appears to be Bunny shaped. She looks in...

FW: Dude....what happened?

She helps him up. Bunny is coughing and holding his throat. In a raspy voice, he answers

B: Poe.

He continues coughing and choking. Firewoman is expressionless, but the wheels are clearly turning behind her eyes.

FW: Okay...let's go.....

B: We're going after him? All right!!! Team RabbxtFire together aga--

FW: NO!!

B: No?

FW: Not now. We're taking you to medical first.

B: But.......

FW: Don't argue with me about this. Come on.

They walk down the hall towards the medical station.

[mooseheadjack]

*Run DEA Luxury Suite sponsored by Aquafina & Ketel One*

The ninja cameraman turns his camera on as soon as the door opens and Firewoman and Lucky walk in. You notice Firewoman look around the room and notice that all of Run DEA is sitting in random chairs while Alexis is pacing across the floor. It’s easy to see that Davin is rolling his eyes while Alexander is staring at the ground while clenching and unclenching his hands, Alexander, in fact looks to be in really bad shape; as usual he has another broken nose, but this time to go along with it one of his eyes is completely closed, we can see stitches across his forehead and their seems to be even more in the actual scalp. He’s got a soft brace to support his left arm and his right leg is being kept straight and elevated because of the knee brace he’s wearing. Firewoman starts to try and head right for her locker room, but she’s stopped by Alexis.

Firewoman: Can I help you or would you prefer me to do something else to get you out of the way?

Alexis Darling: Where the hell have you been?

Firewoman: #1. It’s none of your business where I was. And #2. Since it isn’t a big deal I was helping Bunny get some medical support because your brothers’ problems are becoming everyone else’s problem.

Alexis: What are you talking about?

Fire: That sick fuck Poe decided to create an extra door in the hallway of random encounters, only he wanted it Bunny shaped so he chose to throw Bunny through the wall.

Davin Moreland: He did WHAT?

Fire: He picked Bunny up and tossed him through the wall…did I stutter?

Davin starts to stand up and make his way through the door just as Fire tries to slip past Alexis. Meanwhile, Carl and Phantos start to get into a debate over which is better; Subway or Papa John’s. Lucios is about to call Lucky over when Alexis looks around the room.

She points at Davin, You STOP. And then to Firewoman, Don’t even think about it. And the rest of you, SHUT UP!

Everyone turns to stare at her and all seem to be contemplating their next move when Alexis begins to talk again, I promise each and every one of you that if we do not all sit down and have this little meeting…well just realize I will not be happy and you people really should prefer to keep me happy

Davin and the rest of the original DLP seem to be having a wordless conversation when Phantos nods and Davin reluctantly takes a seat as far away from Alexis as possible even though she doesn’t notice this as she and Firewoman seem to be having one of their tense-filled stare downs. Alexis, maybe for the first time, is not letting Firewoman win this contest as Fire reaches for the closest chair and just takes a seat in it.

Alexis: Good. Now that that’s been settled, we can move on to the current state of things.

Carl from Fresno: I really don’t want to be rude, but why are you calling meetings for us?

Alexis: I’m glad you brought that up Carl because you’re correct…I shouldn’t have to call this kind of meeting.

Alexis looks at Phantos.

Phantos: Why are you looking at me?

Alexis: I thought you were supposed to be the captain of this group?

Phantos: There’s a lot you don’t know about me.

Alexis: You’re right there is a lot I don’t know about you. One thing, I do know is that you’re not being a very good captain.

Lucios: Those Championships we won on Wednesday say differently I think.

Phantos: I gave a great motivational speech before that match, didn’t I?

Alexis: Excuse me, over here you two. Thanks. Did I miss the moment in time when Run DEA reverted back to just the three of you? Or are there a few other people you should be looking out for now.

Phantos: What is she talking about?

Alexander Darling: She’s talking about me you masked freak.

Lucios: Watch yourself Alex.

Alexander: I would, but it’s kind of tough with one eye swollen shut.

Davin: What happened? Did you see another bird and run screaming into a wall?

Alexander slowly starts to stand up and we can see Davin trying to hide his laughter. Alex barely gets to his feet and begins to take a step towards Moreland.

Alexis: Sit the fuck down brother, I don’t have the hour it would take you to cross the room.

Davin breaks out in hysterical laughter at this point.

And you, my god…would you shut the fuck up already? I could have sworn that when we discussed this little merger you were on board with it. If you’re not, we will walk the fuck out right now Davin. Make the call.

Alexis keeps her eyes on Davin while LonelyGirl15 helps Alex sit back down in the chair. The staring (pissing?) contest between Alexis and Davin continues for another moment,

Alexis: Fine then, fuck it…we’re out.

Davin: Goddamn you, wait…you’re right. This was half my idea, what do you expect and we’ll figure out where we can compromise.

Alexis: Look, no one knows more just how much an asshole Alexander can be more than me.

Alexander: HEY…I am sitting right here, ya know.

Alexis just gives him a look.

I know it’s true, but it doesn’t mean you need to point it out. I am in pain here.

Alexis: I know you are brother dear and that’s my first point. We brought these two groups together because it’s always better to have more people watching out for you. That means supporting them inside and outside the ring. No more instigating fights, no more snide comments, nothing. I’m not saying that everyone here needs to wind up being best friends…we’ll leave that to Dead and Moose, but we do need to make sure that the people sitting here will do anything for one another. I look around this room and I see the best combination of talent in the entire fucking company. Hell, right now Run DEA controls exactly 50% of the gold within the OOWF and it goes without saying that its very conceivable that we could hold every single belt if we wanted to.

The rest of the room seems to agree with this sentiment and realizes just how much power this would give them in the war with Bennett.

Phantos: It’s a very good point, but I’m not sure what you’re asking for. I hope you don’t want us to go out there and help your brother cheat or something. It’s not how we go about things here. As captain, we win belts based on merit, not cheating. That’s how they do things and we are not them.

Alexander: Thanks for that Phantos. Way to have faith.

Alexis: Alex, cool it for now. And no that’s not what I’m saying at all Phantos. What I am saying is that when one of your fucking partners is getting beat down 5-on-1, you go out there and save him. I mean, my god, I thought something like that would go without saying..

Lucios: So, you want us to save your brother from a situation he put himself into.

Alexis: No…I want you to help your PARTNER. That’s what we all are now, right?

Davin: She’s got a point guys. If that was anyone else out there, you know we would have made sure to pay better attention to what was going on.

Fire: Hey, just for the damn record I was paying attention.

Alexis: Really? So after all your talk about allies and backing them up…

Fire: Actually, I expected this from you and I have a very valid reason.

Alexis: I bet you do.

You can see the anger bubbling just below Firewoman’s surface,
Firewoman: Lucky, if you would.

Lucky hits a few buttons on his T-Mobile Sidekick and a video starts playing on the television. It seems to be a backstage video from Mayhem.

Firewoman watching the first of the Campeones de Trios matches between World’s Greatest Fag Team with Alexander Darling and Moosehead Jack, Dead, and Attitude Adjuster, with much loathing in her eyes. She is talking to the screen, giving advice and encouragement and swearing at Team Bennett, even though they can’t hear her backstage.

Fire: Something’s not right. Why are Fonzie and Ryan not staying in the ring?

She no sooner gets that out then she sees the reason, as WGFT begins to stomp the shit out of Darling. Firewoman curses, and turns to head for the ring, when a shadow falls across her path.

Donovan Viper: I don’t think I’d do that if I were you.

Fire: Get out of my way, Viper.

Donovan: Now, if I did that, you’d ruin all the fun going on in the ring right now. No, I think you need to stay put.

Fire: Fine…we do this the hard way.

She gets ready to fight her way through, and as her arm goes back to throw a punch, SYB comes from behind and grabs it. Skurge comes on the other side and grabs her other arm.

Donovan: See, I warned you. Fortunately for you, though, we were told to just to make you stay here, nothing else. Please don’t give us a reason to do anything more. I’d hate for you to have to explain that to Mr. Bennett.

Firewoman sees she’s outnumbered, and while she considers fighting anyway, she sees the monitor where the referee has rung the bell, and the match is over. Firewoman stops struggling. Donovan Viper and IHOP walk away, smiling.

Fire: Fuck, where was everyone else? This is not going to go well.

Firewoman sees a ninja cameraman filming this and begins to walk menacingly over to him.

I’m going to need that tape.

Lucky hits a few more buttons and the video flickers to something else. It looks like a split screen of the parking lot and LJ Bennett’s office also from Mayhem.

Inside Bennett’s office are Eric O’Mac, Chris Cole, and Tyson Kincaid. They’re all watching some footage on the television screen and they actually have a split-screen as well. On one half is the match where Alex received his beat down and on the other half is the same parking lot and at the same time that MacCappington and Hardcore turn on Darling we see the Dunkin Donuts Limo pull up to the building.

Davin: I can not believe we just got pulled over for a stupid fucking busted tail light and the cop needed to do a front-to-back search of the car. Like we really look like drug dealers…I mean besides the masks and all. But still, two fucking hours sitting at an impound lot in Jakarta while we should be preparing.

Lucios: Don’t worry about it Tommy, the show just started and Lucky gave us a call to tell us we were up fourth so we got some time. And it’s not like anything important ever happens in the first match.

Phantos: Right, we need to focus on DLP tonight. This is the night we’ve been waiting for. The three of us can all become Champions in one match. It’s what we always talked about. Trios Champions. Nothing would be sweeter especially after everything that’s happened.

Davin: Word.

On the other half of the screen LJ Bennett has just finish throwing seeds of doubt at Alexander Darling and we see Tyson, Chris, and Eric all laughing.

Eric O’Mac: Paying off the police was an awesome idea.

Tyson Kincaid: Wasn’t it yours?

Eric: Yea, that’s what makes it even better.

The television turns off and Alexis looks around the room.
Alexis: So, let me see if I got this straight, while Alexander was getting destroyed you were being held back by Viper and IHOP while you guys were all being detained by the Jakarta police on suspicion of drug possession Well then.

Everyone just nods to confirm what was going on during the start of Mayhem.

And no one thought it’d be a good idea to relay these messages to anyone else?

Fire: It’s like I said…We all need to be on the same page. Not just some of the time, but all the time.

Davin: She’s got a good point. This is war and Bennett’s guys are trying to separate and divide.

Lucios: It’s cause they know that they can’t beat us on a level-playing field. If we all stand together, we’re unbeatable and they know it.

Phantos: Okay…captain’s decision: no more of what happened at Mayhem. If one of us is going somewhere, someone else is with them at all times. It may sound childish, but we’re using the buddy system to watch each other’s back from now on. Everywhere.

Phantos gives a look to Firewoman as he says this and she looks at him a bit confused for a second before she realizes…

Fire: No, no, no…not a chance. That’s my locker room. It’s the only private place I have.

Phantos: Fire, you said it yourself, all the time. And that is without exception. I’m not saying you need to share your locker room or anything, you just need to make sure someone is around that can watch your back. I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for me, but you know I’m right here.

Firewoman just gives a nasty look to Phantos before she sneers and gives a kind of, sort of half nod. Phantos nods back and seems to come to a decision. He stands up and walks over to Alexander. He reaches out with one hand and helps Alex to his feet.

Phantos: I haven’t always, in fact, I haven’t ever liked you. But your sister is right and that really doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t know if you’ll ever prove yourself completely trustworthy but Davin trusts your sister and that’s going to have to be good enough for me. You haven’t done anything at all to make me doubt that, so I’m going to have to start believing you Alex. I’m sorry we weren’t there for you Wednesday. I promise you it WILL NOT happen again.

Alexander: I don’t want or need your promises…

Alexis is about to say something when Alexander holds up his free hand to stop her.

But I do appreciate it Phantos. I’m not expecting anyone in this room to ever truly like me and that’s fine. But I am giving you my word that as long as this war with Bennett goes on and as long as Moosehead Jack, Donovan Viper, Ryan Hardcore, and F. Fonzworth MacCappington stand alongside on him you have nothing to worry about with regards to me flipping on you guys. If there was every any doubt about that, this past week should have proven that there is no going to Bennett for me. I want their blood now and I will have it. And it will start this week with getting MY title back.

Phantos: Did you just kind of use me as a plot device?

Alexander tries to smile, but then grimaces,
Alexander: There’s a lot you don’t know about me.

Phantos: Hey, you can’t do that.

Alexander: And why not?

Davin: Cause Go Fuck Yourself?

Fire: No jackass, Cause it doesn’t sparkler.

Lucios: You’re both wrong. Cause trust me?

Everyone turns to face Lucios and they all shake their head like it’s the stupidest catchphrase ever.

Phantos: I got it. BOOYAH, BI….Bet, ya thought I’d say it.

Smokey: Bark!

Spiros: Meow!

Alexis: My god, I need to call Samantha.

*Fade to white snow before black*